My Organised Mess.

retarded relinkage

2007-11-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

all posts will now be continued at
http://elleandry.blogspot.com

i dont know why. ask ryan.
lmao sotonghead

wth

2007-11-21T10:48:00.000+08:00

where the hell am I supposed to blog????

meh. i'll just blog here first before i forget.

...you know what? i changed my mind.
ryan you homo.

Liar liar. Pants on fire.

2007-11-18T18:54:00.000+08:00

Sarah Alexander, or shall I say Serah Alexander?
I am... how shall I put it? Speechless?
I wanted to begin this post with, " Serah you fucking bitch whore slut!" But haha I won't do that. Since you're not here to defend yourself...
TOO FUCKING BAD
HAHAHAHHHA

When Jacob and Ry told me last night, my brain couldn't seem to register that.
But when it finally did, I almost vomitted vulgarities onto Asrul over the phone (the poor guy, I suspect he'd have a heart attack f I did that.)

The vulgar in me lasted only for a second or two. Amazingly, I felt fine after that. Really.
In fact, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed to be gullible enough to fall for the oldest trick in the book.
Classic.

Sarah Alexander doesnt exist. I never did have a good online girly friend. It was all fake. Phony.
And you know how much I hate phonies.

Snip snip Goodbye the years of online friendship.
Snip snip Goodbye the pain and tears of sadness when you left.
Snip snip off the memories of Sarah Alexander.
Snip snip like the hair falling to the saloon floor.

Don't mess with me, bitches!
Trust me you'd rather have me blow hot than cold.
I'll freeze you with my jaded heart.

erase these memories

I got over you.

Let's blog!
Anyway, I met up with Ratnor that day remember???
:) And it was fun. The gundu forgot to bring his wallet lmao and everything seem to go wrong for him hahaha but no matter, it's so fun being driven around in his shiny black carr <333 omg I want someone to chauffeur me too!
Ahem.
xD

And I wanted to blog about this but it's soooo long ago...
:(
I dont have the mood to blog about it anymore.
meh.
haha TOO BAD again xD

ANYWAY, Asrul has called me for three nights in a row now.
And not once have I called him >.> I think he calls me because I told him my smses exploded so I can't sms anymoreee but haha poor guy, I was so distracted on the phone to him last night caz of the- what was it? I deleted it from memory already.
Ah the joys of springcleaning people outta your life.
Everyone should be like me.
:)
A SUMO person.
Shut Up and Move On xD
Being jaded pwns \m/

I feel uncomfortable talking to Hidayah about it.
I don't wanna rub it in her face like oh look the guy you've been dying to go out with never called you for the entire time he knew you but he called me threee times in a row!!
She's such a fickle idiot too. I don't know if she's fine with it or not.
I asked her and one min, she was all omgomgomg seriously i'm praying for you guys to end up together, and the next min, she's asking did he call you? omg how long did you talk for? An hour...? Omg, you traitor... what kinda friend are you sia... and then she sounded so off and lost interest in talking to me.

Oh well, I guess it's inevitable. I think I'm gonna lose her anyway. So if there really is something good going on between Asrul and me, then well, I'll go for it.
I can springclean people again.

I don't tolerate people who hurt me >.> lmao seriously. I don't so if I come across as insensitive? TOO BAD FOR THE THIRD TIMEEE.

I LOVE YOU MY OTHER AWESOME FRIENDS.
lmao
Loads and loads of love to Jacob and Ryan <3333
And I shan't uh, change my perception towards you guys just caz of one idiot.
But ah, shall I say, I'd rather have Jacob's mask of towel than fake pictures psh.
AND RYAN no worries, I wouldn't put the same password and username for everything if it really is that private but you could have just told me before -_- I wouldn't mind really. YOU OWE ME SPAIN PICTURES YOU SOTONG.
God, do you wanna wait till I die of old age?

Aaaaanyway, online friends are one thing,
TRUE FRIENDS ARE THE BESTTT
Cassandraaaa I seriously can't wait for Dec and hahaha I deffo wont forget a very very very important day.
I shall stop being so hung up on Hidayah, obviously I don't mean enough to her. And so goodbye my Malay friend. I still have Fasihah, my last and only Malay friend left, and she's drifting away too, life is too sad.

NEVERMIND.
Cassandra girl you rock<3333

And I'm currently going crazy over Timbaland's Apologize <3

-6382
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you

lol :)

2007-11-17T20:21:00.001+08:00

this skin looks rather retarded. more like, spasticated. but whatever. the blog needed some change. i was sick of the old skin. lmao. and tah dah, a wonderful cat one who appears to have booger leaking from its nose. there was also an exact same one but with a cow. but eh. anyway, i might actually decide to change this if i can find a better looking skin on the darn retarded site. laturs.

-ryan.

I lay on the bed. And went into coma.

2007-11-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm damn shagged.

Will have 836478569273567493 things to blog about tmr.
To Ratnor if you're reading this, thanks a million yo!

Pray for me.
I'm too tired to think.

Goodnight cruel world.
See you tomorrow.

-6289
It's driving me crazy trying to second guess you

O_O!

2007-11-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

Okay, too many scary stuff happening at one go hahaha

Firstly, I'm gearing up for interpoly's tmr (AIYAAAAAA xS)
I'm the second speaker in team B so conratulations me.
JIA YOU NPDEBATE<3 !!

Secondly, something just as traumatising happened last night too.
O_O
Asrul texted me, asking me how's my day lalala.
I replied him and yeah, after my second message to him, I received a call.
From that psycho.
wth.
He called me.

Conversation went well, I must say :)
Really, he's hilariously retarded hahaha

Somehow, we talking about his age and I was teasing him about being so OLDDD
like hello? 22? OLD MAN.
I'm like 17. Still a baby xD

And he was all nooo, he's not old. He's young at heart.
And started talking about marriages???
????
About how girls usually mary older guys?
And I'm like uhhh...riiiight...
hahaha I was constantly rebutting every damned thing he said haha the poor guy (so see? practicing for debate already xD)

Funny parts includes him telling me about his nonsense secondary sch days.
Somehow he managed to topple an OHP. And you know how fat and heavy an OHP is, it's almost physically impossible toppling one fat OHP hahaha
He was zooming around with it of course.

Congratulations.
Surprisingly, we talked for an hour plus.
O_O
And he's nice to talk to. And well, I still haven't decided if I like him or not.
He's a nice guy and all... but I haven't felt anything for him, strangely.
Okay, I think the lack of boys mustaf screwed up my system.

How am I supposed to tell Hidayah he called?
I'm so dead.
Usually Hidayah calls him. If she knows, it'd be so sad.
I don't like this.
And I don't like the fact that I may possibly just want him as a friend.
:S I dont wanna go leading him on when I might want to decide we'd end up.. nowhere.

ncfbjbvgbvng this is irritating.

Oh and one last incident. Remember I blogged about last year? That I was joking to Hidayah over the sms that the guy she had a crush on a guy aka Asrul who was not even hot?
I even called him "katek"(shortie or midget in malay) in my sms.

O_O And Hid said he took her phone and saw it.
And then after that he called me orbit just to get back at me.

On the phone last night, he told me he called me orbit just to get back at me, no hard feelings, just jokes, and I agreed and told him he wasn't supposed to see that sms. It was me jokingly criticising Hidayah's crush.

And he told me,
he didn't take her phone.
She showed it to him.

o_O?
Why did she tell me otherwise thenn???
How evil.
And this happened a year ago so no biggie.

:/

I'm meeting Ratnor today.(I think the spelling is right... right?)
He's a guy I met on the net and apparently he's taking part time diploma courses in NP too so lol another NP sotong besides Jacob.

Meeting him for lunch (how... scary. considering I've never met him or talked over the phone to him before) But oh well. Meeting Hidayah later. To get my shoes for interpolys. Seriously, if it doesnt fit, I'm dead and I'll hafta go shoe shopping like immediately after caz TMR'S THE COMPETITIONN OMGGG

Wish me luck :S

-6260
Save water. Shower with me.

a day for humilliation

2007-11-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

how?
howhowhow?
I'm actually selected. For debate interpoly's.
I DIDNT EXPECT IT O_O

I thought she might pick kenneth joey and someone else. Not me.
Never thought it'd be me. I guess I didn't think. I'm scared.
I'm SCAREDDDD.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna read the papers like mad now.

I love french. (saw this on Sam's blog again xD)
And I feel horrible to Monsieur Benoit. I promise to make up to him.
Ah, red camp, interpolys lalala grossly busy.
The language is beautiful(:

oh by the way,
I spelt Asrul's name wrongly I think. Not Azrul. But Asrul.
And he's 22.
wth. why am i always stuck with older guys..?
Ah, kill me.
I'm so dead on Sat.

-6243
çava bien

At lost.

2007-11-14T08:42:00.000+08:00

Last night, something very disturbing happened. And I'm still very confused and erm, maybe I don't know how to feel either.

I called Hidayah last night. Like finally. I was talking to her on msn asking her if she wanted me to call her caz it's easier and you know what she said?
I scared my boyfriend scold me for talking to you.

uhhh... wth?

oookayy... but anyway, she said I should stay up again to wait for her call (again and this time she didnt leave me hanging all night waiting for her to give the go-ahead) So, I called her back (caz her phonebill's forever exploding) and we talked for an hour plus plus

:) That's good. Except that...

Do you remember Azrul? The guy I blogged about last year? LMAO last year, you guys probably don't remember. Okay, he's this malay dude who apparently had a thing for me (because I'm half chinese *rolls eyes*) and I only met him ONCEE.

He was the guy Hid was chasing until she met her current boyfriend, and since then has been trying to matchmake the boyfriend-less me to what she considers a helluva good catch aka Azrul.

She told me Azrul constantly asks about me (O_O wth?) and I'm always somewhere in their conversations and finally, a few nights ago, he asked her for my number.

And being a wonderful friend (to him), she gave him my number. Then told me about it only last night.

Only god knows what rubbish she has been telling him about me and she tells meabout him too but not much ANDDDD THE POINT IS THAT I TALKED TO HIM LAST NIGHT O_O

We conferenced and three of us were on the phone at the same time and BOY, DID I FIND IT WEIRD. Caz I didn't know what to say, really, I was just listening to their playful banter and being thoroughly amused by it :)
So Hid was like, Okay, Azrul, can you put your phone aside for a moment? I need to talk to Khalisah.
And then she screamed at me lmao, Khalisahhhh come on! Talk! Do you know how hard it is to get Azrul to CALL? He isn't the type to call girls, girls call him!

I'm like, erm.. okay but I don't know what to say! I can't make small talks like you do, I'm not good at it!

That's true. I can crap, and joke but I can't be all," Hey... have you eaten? What'd you eat for dinner? lalalala.."
xS
And I was shocked when he entered our conversation because he was all jovial and practically screamed my name O_O HEY KHALISAH! How're you doing?

Me: O_O!!! uhhh fine..?

lmao. For some reason, it's harder for me to indulge in playful banter with Malays than Chinese. I don't know why, and I'm not racist. Psh. It's just harder for me to click and they keep wanting to speak in MALAYYY and argh.

But he spoke in English and that's good but I could tell it was weird for him, it seems he feels more comfortable speaking in malay so yeah, I leave it be and let them speak in a mix of Malay and English and I tried not to go HUHH?? too many times, lmao.

Hidayah told me she's a little jealous hahaha but she loves her current boyfriend so she doesn't mind. He's quite short for a guy, only slightly taller than me (I hope) and yeah, I don't find him hot or anything xD But it seems all the girls want him o_o? Hid has been chasing him for 4 years (good lord) and my ex-bestfriend, Farz, had a crush on him several years back (which she denies now and is totally in love with her current bf. And suddenly I feel weird being single >.>)

Personally, I think he's my mother's dream son-in-law. Seriously, a good muslim, from a family who're financially well off, has both a car and bike liscense, a gentleman, understanding, funny.
No wonder.
BUT HOW? I don't like him caz well, I thought I might feel something for him a year ago but Hid was so into him so I was like ," GOSHH I'm not interested in himm. YOU can have him!"
And now Hid wants me to change my mind and I barely know him ARGH what rubbish.

I don't think he deserves me >.>
LMAO
And I may possibly go out with him and Hid again, like last year on her birthday. I'm scared.
:S
We'll see.

-6206
I'm not who you think I am

I don't know what to blog about.

2007-11-12T16:19:00.000+08:00

Okay, I've just been poked for not blogging.
And it's only been 3 days since my last post -_-

And now I forgot what I wanted to blog about.
Oh yeah. I remember now.

Friday

Met up with TERI AND OGGY AFTER SCHOOOOL <33333
Haven't seen them in decades. Eternities. Eons. Centuries. Forever.
:)
And I'm lazy to blog about it because it's quite long ago and I'm such an idiot for having blogging moods, SO I shall say that it was REALLY REALLY REALLY NICEEE and FUN, and FUNNY and omg I love doughnuts.
>.>
Okay that was random, but the queue at Donut Factory was amazingly surprisingly short so we(how typically Singaporean and greedy of us) queued for it and and and ITS YUMMEH :D
I couldnt go for the class gathering (but not many are planning to show up anyway so whatevs)so I made my way back to school at 5pm caz I have ambassador crew work to do for red camp (I pon-ed French, how evil of me to dear Monsieur Benoit<3) And congratulate me for not losing my way in Cityhall (dont laugh) because I'm not familiar with the place and yes, I know, I should get out more.
I should but can't.
heh.
Lastly, I joined in for Debate late, but no matter.

Weekends

I turned into a Halo2 loser. Spent hours and hours on the Xbox with my bro trying to kick the Convenant's ass on legendary mode(the hardest freakin mode). Instead, we got our butts kicked. Hard.
Couldn't make it past Cairo Station(Stage ONE bloody hell) stucked there and we got addicted caz the more we couldn't do it, the more we wanted to win and try again and again.
And, we've gotten more pro as we repeated the same checkpoints over and over again. When we played again on Sunday, we zoomed past the first few checkpoints till we reached the part we always die at and I have to admit, I really did improve a hell lot.
I'm a Pro. Crastinator.

And none of you could care less, seriously, wtf, shut up, ksah.

My bro has been easier to get along with. It seems he has decided to stop treating me like the enemy and that's amazing. I'll blog about my bro later, that poor funny dude.

Today

I'm bored now. It's 4:40 pm and I'm waiting for debate to start at 6pm. I'm all alone. How sad. lmao everyone went home and debate ppl still have classes but I ended early so BOO.
Had Cell Biology (taught by a teacher whose voice puts an insomniac to sleep) and I struggled to stay awake seriously.
Really. I tried. Ate 436574365 sweets, snacks and all the junk lmao like a pig But I ended up sleeping anyway.

AND SO
I bought coffee. With extra cream and extra sugar.
oh the loveee

It was freaking hot and I spilled some over and scalded my thumb (oww). People around me in the lecture theatre were amused, seeing me enjoy my steaming cup of coffee from the vending machine. YUM ^^
Afterwards I kept bothering everyone caz I was so restless and I didn't have my doodle book with me caz everyone else (mainly Cass & Sharon but Abi wants it too but didnt get the chance) hijacked my lovely doodle book.

Those greedy pigs. Why can't they get their own doodle book? Lmao.
I think it was a final bid to entertain themselves seeing as our cellbio teacher was as boring as a snail race.

Abigail: "Colourful, you very hyper is it? After drinking coffee?"

Me: "Yeah, my brain's working now and I don't know what to doooo..."

Sharon: Bursts into silent laughter, shoulders rocking with mirth.

I kept shaking my leg, which is a HORRIBLE habit, mind you, caz I was extremelyyy restless. But oh well.
And didn't I say I will blog about every single lecturer/teacher I have?
Bah, don't have time or mood lol.

I'm gonna be so busy :(
RedCamp plus Debate Interpoly's. How frightening.
Pray for us :)

ARGH I'm so lazy. Seriously, I have zero self-discipline, I tell you.
Zero.
ZERO.

Take me
Break me
But try not to wake thee

Sleeping
Silently
Through the other’s regret

Waiting
Patiently
For the air to fill

Sinking
Slowly
Engulf me completely

Reaching
Desperately
But try not to save thee
-Paperbag

-6170
Normal people worry me.

sad story 1

2007-11-09T09:18:00.000+08:00

10th Grade

As I sat there at English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called " Best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asks me for the notes. She had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her in the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After two hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick," she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she didn't think of me like that, and I know it. Than she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want her to know I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation day

A day passed, then week, then a month. Before I could blink it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Than she lifted her head from my shoulders and said, "You're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want her to know I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A few years later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!" She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want her to know I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read her diary entries she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:

I stared at him wishing he was mine, he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it, I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wished he would tell me he loved me!

I wished I did too... I thought to myself and I cried.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

(stole this from Rowena's blog who got this from Rayson's blog lol.
:( Ew this is too sad. o_o )

-6097
Friends are God's way of apologising for family.

Bobby.

2007-11-07T22:28:00.000+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Didn't I say I'd post up the retarded Bobby Lee video?
Here it is (:

and you know what?
sometimes, things just have NO LINK.
And this is one of those times.

Try not to breathe heavy lungs
For this moment is precious
Where even the dust is beautifully in place
Everything is in its place

Be still anxious heart
Your world will beat for you
Don’t be hasty
Everything waits in its place

Do not blink curious eyes
Do not miss a split second
Be sure to see all of it
Everything is still in its place

Be here o loved one
For this moment is precious
Where even the tears are beautifully in place
Where everything, is in its place
-paperbag

this one sounds nice.
xD
wish I knew what it really means.
>.>
a bobbified post xD

-6057
Without ME, you're just AWESO

The Perfect Morning

2007-11-07T10:37:00.001+08:00

Finally.
I have fulfilled my innermost desires.
Well, not so much innermost haha BUT

I've got myself,
A Perfect Morning.

I woke up bright and early today. Because Wednesdays suck, it's the longest weekday I have. Lessons start at 8am and ends at 6pm. Gross.
Which means I have to leave the house at 6.30am.
Which also means I have to get up at 5.30am.

Gross.

And so, I left the house a little late (about 15 mins late or so? :x oopsie)
It was a cold morning again, though not as wonderful as the previous morning I gushed about in my previous post xD
I sat in the train, with this stupid voice screaming at me non-stop that Mrs DM will mark me as Absent anyway caz I'd definitely be late for the lecture by more than 15 mins.

Plus, Mrs DM would totally ruin the start of my day.
And so,
I did the unthinkable.
I did not alight at Outram. In fact, I alighted before Outram. I alighted at Dhoby Ghaut.
O_O
I changed trains.
And I went to BUGIS HAHAHAHAHAHA

It's just too bad I don't have anyone to call (one who stays near Bugis) and say,"Hey, let's have breakfast. At Raffles Hospital. Yes, like NOW."

Because that would be absolutely crazy. But I'd still do it if I could. And I'd do it if someone called me for the same thing too xD
Because I'm insane that way.
(:
It's wonderful being me.

So, I walked into Banquet at Raffles Hospital ALONE, like an idiot, bought myself a $2 breakfast set.
AND FEASTEDD.
omg THE BESTTTT, MAN!!

I read the newspaper and ate my half boiled eggs <3!
And my kaya toast<3!
AND MY HUGEASS CUP OF STEAMING HOT MILK TEA<333!!

I am in heaven.

And this is wonderful. like wunderfooool ^^
I texted Cass Lee and Abigail of course, told them I'd be ponning.
And Cass texted me back saying she's late so she's skipping it too.
Being so absolutely wonderful, I told her to go aaaall the way to Bugis to join me xD if she wants haha. And she did, all the way from school to Bugis and that's a 30 min journey :)

Finished my breakfast (oh so yummy) and met her at the station before proceeding to Macs. She was hysterically high caz she thought it was the craziest and most retarded thing she's possibly ever done xD
LMAO.
It may be stupid but not crazy :P We have 2 hours before our next tutorial starts.

She had breakfast at Macs while looking through my retarded photos and icons in my laptop haha and shall I say I FUCKING LOVE THIS MORNING TOOOOOOOOO
MUAHAHAHAHA

And I think I'm really finally officially fine now :D
Had a talk with my mom.
Meh, she says I'm not allowed to get a job during my sch vacations.
I'm never allowed to get a job, until I'm 21 and by then my parents simply have no control over me (I'm quoting from my mum, the liar who told me the same thing 3 years ago about me being 17) But for now, I'm supposed to suck it up and be their baby. And I'm supposed to die during sch holidays- no I kid, to kill time, I should enrol myself in enrichment courses (which involves money and she'd pay and i'd have another one of those guilt trips caz i hate spending my parent's money)

SO HOW?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT DURING THE HOLS?
especially with no money.

I'm supposed to do what I'm doing now.
Save up my measly pocket money for the hols.
And I'm dying really hahahahaha

ALRIGHT.
I can DO IT NYAHAHAHA

anyway lesson ended, and everyone's pestering me to get off the freaking com xD
AND I SHALL GOOOOO
byeeeeee
I'm happy happy happpyyyy <3

-6040
I'd smack you but shit splatters ;D

holding back.

2007-11-05T11:46:00.000+08:00

From now onwards,
I shall strive to be as UN-emo as possible :D

And I shall blog properly later caz I'm in Biostats Tutorial now and it's the dumbest thing ever.

heh
I saw a group in Facebook (yes, I have fallen for it and joined the dark side)
The group was called:

I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head

AWESOME
hahahahhahahahaha
I joined this group last night.
And this morning, on the way the school, I simply cannot resist giggling.
I was smiling like a damned turd and I am sure that anyone who saw me smiling to myself like an idiot thinks I really am one. An idiot. LMAO.

Because it's true.

I do secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head.

And everytime I think it,
it makes me laugh.

hahahahaha

-6025

when you cant do shit.

2007-11-03T21:46:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
when you're in the sidelines,
and you can't help nor offer any solution,
it really really stinks.

and sometimes,
it even hurts.

To all who're in a dark deep pit of cold fire,
I'm there in the sidelines.
Always.

Cassandra-ified

2007-11-03T19:02:00.000+08:00

I like this song.

I'm too lazy to blog, but I have to :P
Else I'll forget everything.

Abi pang seh-ed us. AGAIN HUH.
lmao soooo Cass Lee and I went out on our poor ownnn xD
Twas fun! Didn't buy anything tho. That's good. Saves $$$
I almost forgot I needed to start saving for Dec.

So eventhough there are several tops and bottoms that I sorely wanted to buy, they can wait :) Some things are simply more important in life.

And God, since when did I like shopping so much?! I'm turning into a total girly, I tell you. I even camwhored.
oh. my. god.
ew, I turned typical.

Cass and I were crazy. Windowshopped in Orchard and walked aaaall the way to Plaza Singapura. We ate at Pizza Hut and it was YUMMMMMfackingYUMMEH.
hahahaha I haven't had lasagna in a damn long while.
It's the LURVEEE, man.
After late lunch/ early dinner (I didn't know what it was) we went window shopping in PS again.
Loads of love to Cass for not ABANDONING ME ahem ahem
Abi, you owe us.

Speaking of Abi, congratulations on finally being officially together with Jo-soo-ah Tan xD
Damn him for sharing my surname, that homo. No, I'm kidding, Abi xP
Try not to abandon us for Joshua too often, yea?
xD

__________

Friday, had Communications ToolKit thingy and IAC in the morn from 8-12.
Apparently they dumped all(and I really mean every single one) of the Malays in our lecture (Biomed + Biotech) into one class. That's how little Malays there are in my lecture alone. You can use your hands to count them.

It's nice tho, to hang out with them.
It wasn't too bad. Arfah from Crez was there so I guess I got sucked in.
We had an American teacher. Mr Aaron Vogt.
He looked like a hobo with the beard and all hahahaha but he's really nice.
And he's from Kentucky. KFC xD
I'll blog about every single lecturer/teacher I have later :)

When I first met Ariffin in my lecture he was fairly irritating hahaha.
On purpose of course, as usual.
Him and gang- Amin and this other dude whose name I forgot, Faizrul? Or something? Oops haha
They didnt know I was a mix of Chinese. They just thought I had horrible Malay because every Malay from Crescent does well for the written paper but speaking Malay was a different matter haha. *Looks at Arfah*

So, I told them that's not very fair caz I'm half chinese afterall, so I actually do have an excuse for my atrocious Malay.
You should have seen their faces hahahahaha PRICELESS.
haha heads turned so fast to look at each other in complete shock, I'm surprised I didn't hear someone's neck cracking.

The Malay girls were really nice too, and pretty haha. None of them wore the tudung.
Seriously, I feel so holy and ultra-religious ahaha if Ruqayyah and Arfah didn't wear the tudung too? I wouldn't survive.

Started telling me lame jokes and we were laughing :) It feels good haha.
And they seemed fascinated. LMAO
Because I refused to speak Malay to them.
My Malay is atrocious okayy? :(
I knew they'd laugh if they heard me. With the weird accent. Gahhh xD
They deliberately spoke Malay on purpose and kept egging me on to speak Malay loool
It's so weird in conversations haha especially when you hear malaymalaymalayENGLISHmalaymalay xD

__________

I almost broke and wanted to whine in my blog about the lack of Cassandra Ng Lin and Yong Xing Tong in my life but THANK GOD Cass decided to message me and we met up after school!!

I freaking love you, Cassandra Ng!!

Had lunch at JP, walked around, chatted in MacDonalds for three eternities or so, I wasn't counting. And boy, we talked alot. Ate chips and bought a huge cup of iced lemon tea to share and dammit I feel like such a horrible friend.

Splitting up is so difficult when I'm so used to seeing her fatty face every freaking day in sch back then hahahaha

We, as greedy pigs are, would never be satisfied with lunch and chips and a hugeass iced lemon tea so Cass bought fries and I bought a small Coke for us to share again.
Talking requires lotsa food. To replenish the energy, ya know?
Just want all my besties to know that, I want to be there for you ALWAYSSS okayy?? And if I'm not, you damn well stalk and hunt me down caz I'd never turn you away!
<33333333333333
:P

(wtf, i realised blogger deleted a chunk of my post and I cant be bothered so hahahaha a chunk of blank and nonsense for you xD)
What I should say is, though I don't really miss the entireee class all that much, I'm just sorry I couldn't make it.
Sighh
I dislike my recent self so >.>
DAMMIT hahaha I want a fantastic morning AGAIN xD to get rid of this new bout of emo-ism.

Ryan, hope you're alright. Though I can only be online, I still wanna be there for you and all my awesome online mates too! So give me a little sunshine x)

Sarah, I wonder if you still read my blog and just refrain from tagging but just so you know, we all miss you. All the best in NY!

Jacob's a boob.
lmao
With all that Bobby Lee.
xD I'll post the vid up later hahaha
So stupidly funny
;D

-5970
Try to say goodbye and I choke. Try to walk away and I stumble.

Grey sky Wednesday morning.

2007-10-31T08:29:00.001+08:00

It's a wonderful morning.
I LOVVEEEE this morning.
love it.

But Rah's gone. Again. And despite telling myself and everyone else time and time again that I would remain unaffected, I felt an ouchie.
F---.

No matter. I shall pretend I wasn't affected and move on.
Sighhh..

Let me repeat this: IT IS A FECKING GREAT MORNING.
And I was late for school. So.
I decided not to ruin my morning by seeing Mrs DandelionMonster (Mrs DM for short + she does look like a monstrous human version of a dandelion- credits to Cass Lee for telling me this).
Our pet name for her is her full name (LMAO) caz it's hilarious, her full name -.-
And I can't possibly type it all out here (tho it's fun to say her full name lmao) so we shall call her Mrs DM.

So here I am blogging when I'm supposed to be in the lecture. I have half an hour before I have to leave and join the rest of our class for the break. I must admit, it feels good to be bad again.

And fucking Mozilla Firefox isn't working on me, and I'm pissed at it for ruining my morning (you shithead Firefox you) and I don't like using Intenet Explorer so OH WELL, I don't have a choice.

I almost stepped on a snail just now.

And while waiting for my laptop to start, I watched the snail from the bench I'm sitting at haha. And watched how many people dodged it at the last moment.
And how many people kicked it.

And watching their reaction.

And looking at the snail.

And indulged in this ridiculous self-entertainment until someone finally kicked it outta harms way, off the pavement onto the grass.

Lmao.
So amusing.
I hate snails.

And ants too.
Those giant ones.
One landed on my hand in the bus today.
*shudders*
I've got myself a close up view of that fat red ant. Looks like three bulbous thingies stuck together with six legs sticking right out.
Gross.
*shudders again*

Today is HALLOWEEN!
and my daddy's birthday too.
Happy birthday, Daddy :)

I shall post up pics of our early birthday celebration at Swensen's a few days ago soon.

Did I mention how much I love this cool grey skied rainy morning?
I fucking love it.

Lmao, sorry.
Really. I really really love it.
This is one of those beautiful happy moments in my life.
The few simple pleasures I get deliriously ridiculously happy about.
lmao.

Like blowing dandelions.
lmao, but I can never look at dandelions the same way again without remembering Mrs DM's monstrous dandelion face.
hahahahahhaha

Okay, I should stop being mean.
I feel like drinking some hot chocolate/coffee/milk tea right now.
And you would realise by now, I am blogging about nothing at all.
haha sorry.
I'm just killing time xD

I'm starting to wish I had just stopped by Bugis (which is a long way from school and home) and get my yummy breakfast set.
My yummy 2 dollars breakfast set with the yummiest kaya toast, half boiled eggs and a giantass cup of either coffee or milk tea.

My morning would then be perfect.
But TOO LATE and too bad.

Ryan's back from Spain YAYYY :D At least one isketch peep comes back. Missed you truckloadssss, Ryyyy xD
And surprisingly, I was invited to Jacob and Ry's conversation just as I came online.

Those two haven't talked in ages.
It's nice too be in a group convo again ^^
Of course, Rah and Mikey are missing but no matter.
Loads of love to Cobby and Ry for being there still <333

I simply cannot wait for pictures of SPAINN!!
xD omgomgomg excitingggg :P
And I finally saw Ryan's white ass BAHAHAHAHAHA
Hawt ;) hahahahahaha omg I cant believe I saw that xD
lmaaaoooo

7 hand poker on msn is surprisingly fun too.
lmao
I love this morning.
Life suddenly feels so frikkin awesomeeee.

-5890
Feels good to be bad

Vent session #1

2007-10-27T18:22:00.004+08:00

Ry.

"To never taste cold water when its all turned upside down."

Spain's awesome.Brunch doesnt seem to exist here or either they don't understand english,duh. Stuff here seem to be ridiculously expensive. Everything's double the AU$. Another expensive rich shithole like england but they've got the best food ever and "nocilla". lmao, apparently its spanish nutella and can only be bought here;tastes the same but i dunno there's something different about it. maybe cos its spain and everything seems to naturally taste better. heh.

Anyway, i'll blog more about spain later when i get back which is in the next two days? and upload pics.woot. homeeeee. finally. So,a day ago or two received phone calls from unexpected people and thus, the result of the following vent session.

So.

Love;;thought-provoking and profound.

Love;;it comes in many ways.

This wide facade, well to me, never ceases to put a smile on someone's face in a matter of seconds and also, wear it off the next minute.

This sorta love seems to come to an end without fail, all the time.

What does it give you?

What do you benefit from it?

Why do we fall in love?

Why do we love?

It's not about knowing that you'll spend that extra five minutes in the mirror to fix up your hair before seeing her.

It's definitely much more than that cos people seem to take it lightly and this is how cliche i can get.

Or maybe that's just my point of view.

All this while, you think everything's fine. Then the next, she's out of your life.

I mean what should actually happen after an unexpected ending?

It's not like sweeping the floor and clearing out everything from the dust pan, into the trash can and woopah, its done.

It's a cycle that literally repeats itself over and over again even when you know the conclusion of it. I mean what the heck?

Why do people even bother looking for Mr.Right? or even, Miss Right. =\

Cos i'm damn frikkin sure that this is definitely non-existent.

Next person, who comes around and tells me that that's true, i'm gonna kick that man/woman up to the heavens above and ask God why he created love so i know why people think the way they do.

You look for that person you think you love.

1)You hook up.
2)You date.
3)Have fun.
4)Have sex or....not......
5)Get sick of them or Break up over something petty or expected.
6)End.

The most that can be added to that list is probably get married and have kids.

But,it all ends one day or another. Don't tell me that it will never. Cos my parents were once like that. Now, look at them.

I wonder why people never get sick of it. Its the damn fuckin thing all the time except its just a different person.

If love ends consistently and on an average basis,why bother?

After all,you're just looking for those uncountable moments that make you happy when you're with that one person.

Or maybe some tender loving care. Yada yada yadaaaa. All that bull.

I say don't give a shit.

Don't have kids if you're not gonna think ahead for their well-being.

No wait, don't even start a family when you know its gonna end.

Cos its not different. These stories are prolly the most cliched cos in 20 years of living, they seem to have one and only one similar ending.

Really.

omgomgomgomg

2007-10-27T15:27:00.000+08:00

:D

:D:D:D:D

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I'm HAPPY, stupid.

LMAO.
kiddinggggg.
okay, I could resist blogging for five days. But this is IT. I haaaave to tell all that I've fallen into another bright shiny vat of happiness.
Even Sam's blog couldn't make me emo.
I'm actually impervious to emo-ism! WOOOOHOOOO

hahahahhaa aaaanyway, let's SHARE THE HAPPY JUICE xD

Tuesday

We've (Abigail and I) been trying to surprise our dearest Cassandra Lee lmao.
And she was soooo moody ;) Yes you were, Cass haha. Cass thought we were having our own little secret and not including her in it, or something lmao. We were just trying to find a way to shop after school for Cass's bdae prezzie since Cass has been going home with me, it's kinda hard to bluff our way out.

PLUS, I am suchhh a bad liar :( Abigail hahaha surprisingly great at feigning ignorance lmaooo x)

AND ABI YOUU ROCKK GIRL hahahaha went crazy and shopped and and and we bought Abercombie Tshirt for her xD that says ," Sexy is always in style."
And we couldn't resist buying different colours of the same A&F tee for ourselves.
:P
And we went crazy again and I bought myself a lecoqsportif jacket that's nice and warm and I don't have to freeze in lectures anymoreee yay! And Abi bought a Winston(if I'm not wrong) jacket xD

wthhhh!!! I spent sooo much(which isn't much for you ppl, but I lack $kaching$ okayy?). Half my Raya moneh goneeee. xD
And I've never felt so happy after spending. It's probably in recovery from emo-ism that resulted in such a drastic and insane change.

Wednesday

After spending the night making a spastically childish card for Cass (it was bright and colourful and full of stickers!! :P) Sneaked it to Abi to write on it in the lecture and Cass almost caught us xP

Presented them to her after the stupid Biostats lecture (Chansiipanyann can go and die man LMAO) And she squealed like some hantu (ghost) LMAO kidding she just killed my cheeks.

*squeals* aaawwwwwww so adorableeeee *SQUISHES THE CLOSEST CHEEKS AVAILABLE aka mine*

and she squished and squished my already fat cheeks like nobody's business, I worried about looking like a bulldog afterwards.
Lucky Abi haha her cheeks were safee hmph.
Cass then reached over for a big warm hug and yeah HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

To Abi and Cass, life in NP wouldnt be the same without you really :)
Appreciate your friendship loads and loads and truckloads!

To cut the long story short, I left school an hour early because I nearly died in the Cell Biology lecture.
My head just throbbed and throbbed; I had the WORST case of migraine everrr. And my throat didn't help caz it felt all sandy and rough and it made me feel like retching all the time.
So I heck-cared Mr Mak, walked out of there with my bag without telling him and Deena helped with my laptop.

Although Deena puts many people off with her know-it-all way of talking and I know several meanies doodling pictures of shit beside her name on the class register, she's quite a nice person.

She can be quite touchy feely with me o_O which freaked me for a moment caz that's simply abnormal for a girl on girl even O_o
I mean she shouldn't stroke my head and arms and uhh... massage my shoulders for no reason..
>.> even if it's between friends, it gave me goosebumps.

O_O
ANYWAY, besides that, she's really nice carrying my laptop, giving me Panadol extra. I was so woozy and on the verge of dying that I didnt care when she hooked an arm around mine. She's being a big mama and all haha.
Stopped by Ambassador's Meeting (I was supposed to freakin attend after my lecture psh) to tell them I'm woozy and I'm going home, Anisa was nice saying she'll email and update me (THANK YOUUU)I had to miss Debate training too, bleahh.

Stopped by the shop to get the same jacket(diff colour tho) for Dad since it's his bdae on Halloween and he liked mine (I bluffed him that mine was his but I bought the wrong size the day before :P) xD He loved it, admiring himself in the mirror caz the jacket emphasized his wide shoulders and made him look muscular and macho instead of FLABBY hahaha

:)

Thursday

Couldn't take it. My head sucked and my throat sucks worse I wanted to dieee so I skipped school. Went to the doc. She told me what I already know. Prescribed me medication that I was already planning to take :/

Pointless. I just went to the doc for the MC.

What she prescribed;
Cough syrup
Tablets for runny noses
Lozenges
Paracetamol + Oph (stronger painkiller)

What I ended up taking;
Cough Syrup.

-_- Because I stopped having a runny nose. The lozenges she prescribed sucked. Erm. Yeah. I took my own lozenges; my yummy and more effective ones. And I don't believe in taking painkillers >.>

Lmao. I just dont like taking medicine... So I won't take more than necessary. If my migraine's too bad, I'd pop one tablet of normal Panadol. That's it. Other than that, I damn well bear the mild constant headaches. Painkillers don't cure anything psh. Cough syrup cures my my cough.
boo you painkillers. I'll bear my own pain.
hahaha i'm stupid that way.

Doc gave me 2 days MC. I guess it's that bad.

Friday

I woke up feeling like I've been hit by a truck.
So no, I didnt go for my IS classes. Met up with Marieee

Announcement: Whoever has perfs in Dec or wants me outt with them (I know you love me so) I AM SO FREE PEOPLE!

Again, I went crazy and gave in to temptation. Listened to Marie and got myself a haircut. COST A BOMB YO.
LMAAOO But I'm loving itt, stupid me,got meself a haircut when I'm sick?!
Resisted coughing in case he screwed up my hair or something lmao.
I'm a haircut-phobic. :p

Dragged myself to French and saw Joey on the way. He saw me tudungless again. And Shiuan saw my hair for the first time. She looked traumatised LOL you don't have to look so shocked, Shiuan haha.

I love Monsieur Beniot!!! :) He's hilariously adorable. I shall blog about him later :D

Today's Saturday. And I couldn't bring myself to go to VS for debate. It seems like my headache amplifies after I wake up or just as I'm going to bed.

Stupid brainpain has been going on and off. Throbbing in different spots at different times.
I'm admiring my new hair in the mirror like a sotong turdo.
DAMMIT I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY HAIR.

I feel so sad everytime I put on the tudung.
I wanna make my money worth.
Boo.

STILL i love the hair I love the clothes I hate the empty wallet yaaaaaaaa

xD

-5759
I miss the perverted-group-convo-with-isketch-peeps days. Missing Rah & Ry. Raahhhh. xD I want a souvenir, Ry. Else I'll smack you for abandoning me.

hiatus.

2007-10-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

I've decided I shall not ****ing blog until I ****ing get over this damned mood.

Good grief.

And remind me never to blog after reading Sam's blog.
I swear it voodoos people.

But lemme quote something off her blog anyway.
Sam read this somewhere.

the night has a thousand eyes,
and the day but one;
yet the light of the bright world dies with the dying sun.
the mind has a thousand eyes;
and the heart but one;
yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done.

My religious issues are something for me to get over on my own.
Hah.
Society is so funny.
Here I am hating myself for being a horrible muslim.
And yet I see people drinking, smoking and baring it all.
Tattoos are the rage.

*rolls eyes*

Oh and guess what? We should kill all non-believers and make the U.S. a muslim country. SUREEEE DREAM ON, OSAMA. That stupid missing dude and cronies sure as hell are creating an altogether new religion of their own.
Join the club, dummies.

*rolls eyes again*
I'm surprised to be surprised by such stupidity.

Looks like I have company in hell.

I'll have to choose.
Satan is persuasive. woo.
So...
is this a big deal, or not?

HECK. It's not.
Bite me, phonies.

Dearest Teri dear, I shouldn't blog to your mum just this moment. I'll let you know when I'm ready. And well, maybe I'll gather a lump of advices (if I possibly can) and we might get ourselves outta this.
:)

I think you'd do fine, Teri hun.
It's me I have a problem with. The guilt shit trip. I swear it's retribution.
Curse or blessing?
Whichever it is, it makes me feel like SHIT.

AAHHH
I'm not supposed to ****ing blog!!!

xD

I went out with Hidayah today.
I watched her bf's rugby training with her in SP.
I want my friend back.
I found out Hidayah only smsed me to accompany her today caz her guy wants me to entertain her. Keep her from looking at other guys.
Great. I feel so wanted.

Overheard conversation;

Hid: AYE! Yang tengok! (Dear, you looked!)
Boy: Ape? (What?)
Hid: Yang tengok perempuan tuuu!(Dear looked at that girl!)
Boy:Tak... Tengok baju. (No... Looked at clothes)

erm... shall i say, it's the strangest relationship i have ever encountered.
I miss my friend. But I'd have to settle for that. Both of them abandoned everything for each other. Including friends, CCA, passion for an activity, and basically their lives now revolves around each other. I wonder if that's a dream come true? or a total nightmare.

Even so, I wouldnt like such a guy xD I prefer one with backbone.
It's tiring to watch Hid's guy being at her beck an call, carry two bags (his and hers, both bags big and heavy), telling her where he's going, even if it's to the rugby changing room, coming out to check o_O and worry and worry and freak out when Hid and I starts walking around caz he thought we were going home?

That's a little... too much. I think. Some other funny random stuffs he did too but I shall not list it down. He's like a kid. Hid thinks so too xD And we laughed. But she likes it that way. I guess I'm happy for her :)
Stop being jealous of her bf, Ksah. I've got other friends.
I miss her tho.
Oh well. I shall wait for her next sms.
Maybe her bf'll let her go shopping with me.

Funny. He thanked me. For accompanying her. I guess they made an agreement today. Ksah is allowed to see Hidayah. I'm honoured.
Her bf never talks to me. I'm invisible. or was.
But he doesnt seem too bad a guy. She seems happy. Good :) I don't like it when she says things like she's losing me. She makes it sound like it's entirely my fault. Maybe it is. I don't feel good about it. I shall wait for her next contact.
She said she would. If she doesn't after two weeks, remind me to call her.
Hope to God she gets promoted and all the best for Malay A levels. And PW too.

I'll punch his face in if he breaks her heart.
hehe

I'm not supposed to blog.
Goodbye.

-5583
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Caz no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
when I'm done here?

lalala

2007-10-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

okay, I give up.
Stop teasing me anyway. Joke gets old :P

I know who I love.
CHRIS BURNETT <3333
OMGGGG

hahahahaha
I looooveeee him sooo.
Lmao, he's a character in Behind Enemy Lines. And I don't know why I fall in love with characters more often than real people. Oh well. Maybe it's because in books and movies, you understand them characters. And people? That's a little bit harder.

Here's my timetable :D
Grey areas are free timeslots xD Plan something, besties! I depend heavily on you guys as my happy contributors :)

I'm gonna dedicate a post to Teri and Mom soon. I hope I don't erm.. embarrass myself or get Teri in trouble.
:X

Past few days have been icky days. It's those kinda days when I feel ew-ish. I dont know whyyyy either. And I hate it when I check my mail too late. Argh.
I've been reading Sam's blog. I don't understand why I keep going back to her blog...
It's something about the way she writes that draws me in.
I love the way she writes.
I wish I could express myself that way.
Funny thing is, she said the exact same thing on her blog. The incapability of expressing one's self properly, be it through music or literature.

And so far, she's been doing a better than decent job.
How I hate myself right now.
And to think her blog is kinda negative, and yet part of me agrees with it.
She puts it across as if she has issues (maybe she really does, but I shall not be one to comment)
If that's the case, then I have issues.

Sam makes me emo. Tsk.

Maybe I'm torn. Part of me is naturally like Sam, though inferior in god knows how many ways. And the delusional part of me wants to be someone I'm... not?
Honestly? I don't know what I am.
Not anymore.
I used to be so sure.

The person I want to be;
Happy-go-lucky
Loves life
Loves self
Loves family + friends
Big dreams
Not easily bothered/stressed
Friendly and likable

The person I could possibly be hiding inside;
Unhappy?
Doesn't particularly likes self
Fed-up with family
Unsure about friends
No dream
Afraid to go up to people I'm not close to and talk
Feels insignificant
Life seems like a meaningless journey to ~~nowhere~~ I'd probably end up in hell.

Like I said, it's a person that could possibly be hiding inside of me and I'm just living in denial. I'm never sure about anything. Not about feelings. And oh psh, I'm not even sure abt my own personality and god, the only thing I can say with certainty is that I am truly a very fickle, confused and unsure person.

There.

Oh well, once I'm happy and high, I'll tell you about how stepping on crunchy leaves, star-gazing, blowing dandelions, evening strolls on the beach, looking out the window when there's a storm outside are several of the tiny pleasures in life that makes me happy.

And the prospect of dedicating a post to Teri's mom?
Sighhh
It gives me an insane urge to have someone to love. Besides family and friends. You know what I mean. But oh well. No one there.
Maybe I'd like to help Teri and help her mom understand her because...I want to be the person that would help me and my mom.
You know how restricted I am. Put any ordinary typical average teenage kid in my place and the kid'll slit his/her wrists in three days.

No one's there to mediate for me. Maybe I can be there for someone else. And perhaps, it adds more meaning to my life, by improving the lives of others.
I totally understand social workers now.
Perhaps, one day, I'd go crazy, quit my job in the sciencey industry and start helping out. As a social worker or something.

My aunt told me something disturbing. There was this family issue, and yeah well, it hurts to know that I'm not the only one who has issues with my mum. (Dad wasnt involved in this family issue either but he still hold me in invisible chains. Them parents, they work together)
My aunt said, that one day, when I go against my mum, it's gonna hurt her?
I think she said something along those lines.

And look what I've been doing.
If she knows about this blog, I don't know what'll happen.
If that's the case, then how?
My mum thinks I'm a completely different person. Oh god.
I can't live my life this way. Hell no. And no way in shit am I agreeing to an arranged marriage. The day you choose a groom for me will never come, mama.

In some ways, I am chained to more restrictions than Teri, since I'm muslim and all.
And in other ways, Teri's mum may possibly be more extreme than mine.

I feel myself losing faith in my religion. Maybe that's why I dislike myself so, recently especially. I feel compelled to go in the opposite direction tho I damn well know what's right.
Okay, let me correct myself.

I do believe in Islam. Really.
Because none of the other religion made sense for me.
(Okay now we're delving into religious issues)

Let me quote;

If Jesus is God. Why does he pray to God?

-Uncertain Christian over the radio in America

This quote meant no offense. Really. I'm just discussing the uncertainties in my life. Religion is all about faith actually. No hard evidence to prove God really exist. So it would never make sense to you if you don't believe in it in the first place. And it takes time to be convinced and to convert.

Another quote;

I searched for God in a Church. He wasn't there. I searched for God in a Temple. He wasn't there. I searched for God in a Mosque. He wasn't there. I searched for God in my heart. And there He was.

-Someone
I'm not entirely sure who's it from but I heard this somewhere

So people who believe in religion, well God resides in your heart.
I remember having another one of those deep intense (sorta) conversation with Ry haha. It started out as asking whether 'Life' is a misnomer.
He said something about God only exists because people believe it so.

Bah.
The point is, even though I believe in the religion, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do. It makes me feel icky. Because I want to be someone else. I know it's wrong, nevertheless, I still do it.

This is what Sam's blog do to me TSKKK

One of Sam's party mates in my Organic Chemistry Practical class. I saw a hilarious video of him on her blog. He is so dead.
lmao

Sam takes nice pictures too.
I want to be everything. But I'm not.
Oh so depressing xP

Oh well, I'm done mulling over it. The next post'll probably be twice as grossly emo-fied. Hopefully, some good will come outta it.

Laugh at me now, everyone.
Pathetic me.

-5543
So long, status quo.

good grief x)

2007-10-20T12:50:00.000+08:00

haiya...

xD

Cassandra Ng Lin and Yong Xing Tong.
You cuckoos -_-"
Funny tag. Har har.

Cass you know Josh, right? It's normal, okayy?
GODDDD
Don't tease meee :S
I'm tired of getting embarrassed. It's so exhausting.
Joshua is a great guy and all lalala but I don't like him that way :)
Okay? No offence to you, Josh, but you and me, it'll never be xD
As much as Josh is so in love with me(I hear Josh puking now) the chances of it working out are just as bad as the chances of me and Ryan getting married.
Okay, this is an analogy of sorts and it does not warrant any teasing about a marriage with Ryan. It's a joke, people! JOKE!!

I know you know ;)

Stop teasing me la ~.~
Sighh... Since I know, you girls would never listen to me thus resulting in more teasings and whatnots, I shall give you poor deprived friends who unfortunately have the right to tease me about anything and everything some new and fresh ideas.

1) I'm oh so in love with Jacob.
2) I'm oh so in love with Ivan.
3) I'm oh so in love with Johnny.
4) I'm oh so in love with Faizal.
5) I'm actually lesbian and I simply love Vicky.

I made up half the names up there lmao xD Who the shit is Vicky?! lmaaaooo
And to Joey, who asked me which guy would ever call at three am willingly without having anything going on hmm hmm hmmm??? and raises brows repeatedly, you cheeky ass, I'm gonna explain to you WHY he called at 3 am.

Sometimes, when Yodathefatass is bored during Guard Duty he'll call me on one of his shifts. And he rarely calls me anyway so there is nothing going on. It just so happens that I had the night-dirty-games-involving-hardened-dough-in-hair so when he called at 8 or so, I didn't pick up my phone. And since I know I never ever sleep during overnight school camps and may risk being bored witless without having any card games or laptop to play on, I texted him that he can call if he has the second shift thingy again since I'm up anyway caz I felt bad for not picking up the call.

UNDERSTAND???

THAT'S why he called at 3 am caz THAT'S when his shift is.

And plus, Josh you fickle dood, can you just stick to one girl? (i see a potential one girl alrdy- and no cass and xt you poopheads that girl is not me *narrows eyes*) and you really should call you-know-who lmao. Come onnn move it, boy, i wanna see some beautiful story unfold lmaooo xD
You're so slow psh like a dying snail.

So, have I clarified this clearly enough? Fact is, neither of us is interested in each other that way, understanddd?!
:)
Good.

And now, this brings me to a very sad reality.
I don't have anyone to like...
I'm so deprived of a crush. lmao.
I'm not very bothered about a single status now, it totally beats having a stupid stead who misunderstands everything and anything, but perhaps it'd be nice to be attached >.>

I can't like Ryan for obvious reasons (but you know I love you so no worries, hun ^^) and and the guys in my lectures are like ew. Like like really.
-.-
Perhaps one or two cuties but they're shorter than me, oh the waste.
And the rest that are currently hitting on me through msn because they have the courage since they're hiding behind a computer screen, you bastards get away from me.
The next person who calls me exotic just because I'm a mix of chinese-malay, I'm gonna jam a flowering plant down your throat.

Cheesy and lame pick up lines may sometimes be hilarious but added to your stupidity and shallow superficiality? I'm sorry, stupid uneducated people who try to act smart, talk smart whatever who think that you are oh so witty puts me off.

Being older than me does not mean you're smarter or superior to me.
Because, in every way, I, the snobbish bitch, am so much better than you.
When you called me over the phone, did you feel stupid? That my english was accentless (or I tried to make it so;meaning neither lian nor minah. i tried:S) and of higher standard than yours?
When I used "sophisticated" (or I tried to make it so xD ; meaning not so big words but they still didnt know the meaning to it and they tried to follow suit but butchered it completely) language, did you actually understand me? Caz all you said was , "ok" and that wasn't even a possible answer to my question.

It's like asking, "Why is the sky blue?"
and you answer, "Ok."

And you're silly to think I'd think your joke about me wearing the tudung making me a traditional girl, would be funny and I'd fall in love with you, the one with an oh so wonderful sense of humour.

So you're a traditional, girl la. *goofy laugh* hur hur
No, I'm not. Because it's not tradition. It's religion. There's a difference.
You're traditional. *goofy laugh again* hur hur hur
Okaaay... -.-"

Oh, you are sooo funny dear har har I'm not traditional he he *giggles like a fecking sch girl* you big meanie you he he he-

What makes you think I'd find it funny? -_-"
Erm, people, I'm not exactly anal about this religion thing xP caz yeah, you know >.> but I just didn't like the way he talks. And he was hitting on me no doubt about it and well he has a horrible way of going about it haha he needs some lessons that old single fart. Bad lame jokes *shakes head* xP

Okay, maybe I'm a little too harsh on these poor old late twenties gits, but I'm sorry, I simply cant tolerate some types of stupidity.
Because I myself am giving free tuition to the less academically inclined and I love them for wanting to learn.
But I hate those who're alrdy stupid and thinks it doesnt matter, doesnt care, or thinks they're smart the way Einstein was. (this is the worst sort)

Your "witty" comebacks amuses me, you inferior mortal.
And I'm sorry. I'm bitchy today :(
And these sort of people grates on my nerves because of the way they talk and the way they type on msn.(like telechubby ahem)
I also dislike people who talk in emoticons, leaving me to decipher what they're saying like cracking the da vinci code, and people who tYpE LyK Dis or like this : euu goin 4 da bbq l8tr? I lubxx euu. mai hw so troublesome onie.

I just dislike it but hey, I don't hate you neither am I gonna totally block you forever. It's just one of the mild annoyances :) I am perfectly capable of overlooking it or ignoring it if I have nothing against you. And so far, I dont have anything against anyone yet, except them boys, but i've blocked them so life is once again great :D

Sighh so you see, I am currently slightly put off from guys at the moment.
lmao, it doesn't mean I'm turning lez xD I'll let you know when a nice guy comes along :P
But I'm afraid I'm a little too busy to look for one heh.

I want chocolate :(

What I need NOW;
-a new pair of sandals/slippers/whatever footwear easy to put on and presentable to go out in.
-moisturizer
-compact powder
- a hair cut
-contact lens solution
-a job/money to get what i need and want.

I swear, my low-class slippers suck so bad, one day if I'm too late in changing footwear, I'm gonna slip and fall and break my neck.
I ran outta moisturizer and powder and my hair's too long, I want a funky new stylish haircut that no one will get to see since I'm hiding it under my tudung.
-_-
lmao

What I want BADLY;
-to get off braces asap
-a new mp3 player/ anything that plays musiccc
-I have the insane urge to get a pair of skinny jeans xD wonder if i can pull it off :/
-some nice new tops to wear. I'm sick of wearing the same old thingss.
-a new watch
-a new handphone with a better plan
-to improve freakin awesomely this semester and achieve a GPA of 4.0(not impossible, trust me)
-a camera
-a guitar
-to know how to play a piano/drum/guitar
-new shoes :)

oh hell. what was i thinking? bahahaha i want everything so the list is pointless.
and I think this post is long enough. heh, i can blog about absolute crap really.

I'd advice all of you to not take a liking to me so soon. You'd have to realize I'm a horrible horrible bitchy horribleeee person. And I'm gonna annoy the shit outta you at one point or another.
:)

It's less stressful for me this way xD
I am in such a bad mood today haha ciao, I'm gonna continue babysitting my bro since my parents are in M'sia and well, I need to prepare lunch for him.
:S
I want chocolate sighhh...

-5473
Because that way I can dislike you for disliking me rather than be miserable liking you when you can't stand me ;)

Hari Raya Photos

2007-10-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

I've decided I'm too lazy to blog abt Raya.
:/
So, I'll let the pics do the talking.
And since my aunt STILL haven't sent me the pics yettt xD I'll upload the ones in my cam.
And since I'm lazy too upload so many pics at one go,
I'll continue uploading bits of it later xD

heh.

Cuz and bro.

Atok. (Grandfather)

Ibu(2nd aunt) helping Syafiq(cuz) with the samping.

Yes, that's my papa.
-_-"

Daddy and mummy.

My dad trying to be funny again while we camwhore. Isn't my cuz pretty? ;D

In the pic: Grandparents + Mummy
Seeking forgiveness. Everyone's crying. This has been probably the most emotional Raya. Long story.

Us, me and bro, waiting in line.

Our turn to seek forgiveness (: and Salam.

The next family's turn xD Our cousins.

The reason why I love M'sia. My grandparent's home.

Lalala will upload more later (:
And my cousin helped with my make up.
...I still think I do a better job on myself than her :P
hahaha

Yannah's in Spain and I'm missing him.
Yoohooo stop hitting on hot Spanish chicks and get a plane tic for meee!
Just kidding xP

Mmm... you taste of strawberries.

It's the lip gloss, hun.

Oh...

-5434
When someone compliments me, I pretend not to hear.
So they have to repeat and I get to hear it again.

Student Leader Camp

2007-10-16T19:19:00.000+08:00

DID YOU MISS ME????
DID YOU DID YOU DID YOUUU???

I missed me.
xD

OKAY, I'm baaack.
I'm sorry, I haven't been updating lately caz it's either a) no time b) no time c) no time and d) bad mooding.

:)

I don't like to blog when I have those bitchy moods haha xD Makes me critical of everything and anything.
I'm so weird.

ANYWAY, I HAVE HARI RAYA PICTURESSSS
But not gonna upload it yet xD Caz my aunt haven't send them all to me (I was the freaking photographer caz no one was arsed enough, those lazy bums!! How can you not have pics during Raya?!!! I want dad to give me all his cam and vid cam since he's not using it nemore)

Let's bloggg woo

The day before, I was fasting, but I had to go for this Student Leader Camp organised by NP Ambassadors (whee!) to prepare us for Red Camp 4 (sexeh;D) lmao.
IT WAS FUNNNN :)
really really. We played "educational" games in the day to familiarize ourself with the courses in our school. Then watched the mass dance bahahaha
High School Musical 2 overload, seriously.
Came up with our cheers which were HOT yo.

xD I'm SPARTAAANNN MUAHAHAHHA
SEXY.
There are several tribes that us student leaders would be in charge of, and we'd be the Group Leaders (sortof) for ze future Red Campers :)
There are Apaches, Centurions, Spartans, Ninjas, Vikings and... erm is there any more? I forgot. That should be about it.
And I'm a Spartan WOOO awesome.

The cheers the Ninjas came up with were HILARIOUS hahahahha omg seriously
It goes something like this:

Ninjas OI! (Leaders)
HAI! *claps hands together in a jap-ish pose* (The rest of tribe)
Ninjas OI!
YAH! *points both hands to the left, one arm stretched out, the other bent.looks a little like superman*
Ninjas OIII!!!
WHOOSH! *walks sideways as if they're whooshing stealthily away*

O_O

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
omggg ahhahahahahah THAT IS THE CUTEST EVERRRR
lmaoooo
Hilarious xD

Loved the camp it was awesome, made tonnes of new friends. And since I'm an ambassador and the Amb people organised this, I'm sort of plopped into a leadership position. Which was kinda unusual caz I am very unleader-like xD
I make a good follower tho. I think. Whatever :P

Broke up into sub tribes, and so I'm in charge of Spartan 4.
HAWT.
We totally rocked.
There were night games, we ran around the school in the freakin dark and of course, I took off my tudung since we're gonna get dirty and it's crazy for me to sweat and run in it.

I wasn't a leader leader like, you know, in our team no one was exactly leading.
We worked as a team. We stick together. We were fast. We rocked.
xD
WE KICKED ASS except that we got held up at the second last station caz we needed to wait for ANOTHER Spartan subtribe and they took agesss, silly Timo and Violet lmao.
We were the first Spartan sub tribe there ( AWESOMEE)
and omg the games were so DIRTY gosh. I've got flour in my hair, stepped on egg yolks, waded in a pool of Milo and spices and whatnot inside (it stank so bad, I wanted to puke), I dipped my arm into a bucket of banana peels, water and butter and seriously we never really knew what was mixed in there caz it's GROSS.

And they sprayed water at us, so the flour in our hair became DOUGH and the DOUGH got stuck in everyone's hair. and hardened.
That was why I had to wait for about an hour to use the shower caz the crowd waiting was HUMONGOUS o.o

And the guys went topless, woo sexy, some not so sexy bahaha I saw CareBear's butt O_O oh so traumatised xP His pants slipped down so his buttcrack was like flashing hahahaha Poor CareBear, he rocked man xD

After every single station we RAN omg I nearly died. Thank god I broke my fast already (dinner was rice, a piece of fried chicken and tofu. wtf? I'm making sure Ngee Ann bans that SUCKY caterer what kinda shit food was that? SHAME! Not worth $3 per packet but the school paid. STILL. stupid caterer xD)

After showering, we ordered MACDONALDSSS x) Caz we were SOOOO HUNGRYYYY
Oh, I bathed at about 2 am in the morning? -.- so late.
Ordered at 2.30am. By the time the food came, it was 3.30am.
-_-" And I'm supposed to eat breakfast at 4.30am since I'm fasting the next day too.
Jeez, we ate the entire night away.

Ordered McSpicy, while waiting we chatted and sat in a circle and talked. It's wonderful. New friends are awesome <3 :)

And Josh called, poor dude, i hope he died of boredom while I ran around the super dark school with dough in my hair. lmaooo
Apparently, he had guard duty again so he called at about 3 am? Entertained each other since I had to wait for my fooood :S and he had to wait for his shift to be over.

Psh he was so sleepy, he wasnt very interesting to talk to xD KIDDING lmaaoo
Everyone was VERY VERY entertained and amused by my conversation with Josh. Shamelessly listening in and cracking up while I attempted to insult Yoda with my childish... comebacks.

And oh, once, Xiang Wei asked me for Victoria's number. So I reached out for my phone and realised it's not on the floor.
I gasped.
OMG WHERE'S MY PHONE?
I exclaimed. While holding the phone to my ear talking to Josh.

STUPID KHALISAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
omg I immediately cracked up laughinggg and everyone was laughing at meeee those idiots xD
Eeeeevil. Silly me :P
Every time I remember that incident, I'd start to laugh to myself. Or else, if I'm in somewhere public, I'd start smiling retardedly like a turd xP
Gosh, slap me xD

We then went to the atrium, ate Macs, talked about everything, including Power Rangers and stupid Spongebob whom I simply cannot stand that retarded yellow sponge freak and dumb pink fat Patrick.
LMAO
Some when back to sleep (at 4am? psychos. we had to be up at 7!!)

Me, Violet and a few of the other SLs stayed up, talked, star-gazed, drank coffee, stoned, talk sumore, the SLs laid on the table with their head on their arms and napped for 30mins or so, walked around helping our poor new friend with gastric problems, woke Kenny up poor Uncle Kenny xD KIDDING AGAIN.

Then I changed back into my tudung and left at 8 am to hitch a ride on my relatives' car to MALAYSIAAA and that's another post :D Since it's abt Hari Raya and I'll post up pics too wooo.

School's started too but that too is yet ANOTHER post pfftt..
I have several things to bitch about school xD as usual but how exciting. I'm studying again :)

I need money BADLY.

-5388
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
I eat nuts.

Away

2007-10-11T11:44:00.000+08:00

It's the 11th!!!

:O

This shall be a sad little post before I go off for the Student Leader Camp and immediately afterward (possibly) off to Malaysia for Hari Raya.

:(

DONT MISS MEEEEE :D

I'm not very sure when I'll be back, it depends on how long my family wants to stay in M'sia. Oh well, just in case I don't come back in time, I'd wanna say AU REVOIRRRR TO YANNAH ;D

Don't forget to take PICTURESSS FOR MEEEE.
x)
I wanna know how Spain looks like :)
Have fun!! Love ya, miss ya, and TAKE CAREEE ;D
Oh, and since I may or may not be there to welcome you when you stop by Singapore, WELCOME TO THIS ISLANDDD IN ADVANCE :P
Hope you sit beside someone... tolerable? Heh.

Blah, I doubt I'm gonna have time to blog.
Anyway, I'm gonna go pack up and spend a night in my dark spookeh school xD
CYAAAAAA <333

-5257
The scent of vaseline,
in the summertime,
the feel of an ice cube,
melting over time.

Weekends and whatnots.

2007-10-08T10:55:00.000+08:00

I'm not supposed to blog now.
But oh I wanted to blog so badlyyyy!!

I've been busy :( Busybusybusyyy just when the jc people become UNbusy I am now SUPER DUPER busy and this is so totally unfair.

Oh well, I'm supposed to research and form arguments for Myanmar and China (the motion Josh gave me only TODAY hahaha caz I left early and didn't know about it but nvm!) I'm supposed to research them nowww before I leave the house at abt noon, so that gives me a few hours. Meh.

Okay, let's blog properlyy!! woo I'm so excited hahahah STUPID.

Saturday

Woke up DAMN early just to get to Loke's place for debate training.
Lmao, actually, it wasn't very early but I'm used to waking up at 11 plus plus during the hols :P oopsie.

Training was funny. Had to lug a thick heavy stack of The Straits Times and we ended up browsing through it only. I didn't even read it when I got home (we were supposed to read the papers every freakin dayy) caz I was too zonked and hungryy.

The training was supposed to be "excrutiating" quoting from Loke.
heh, I was spared!!
Lmao, caz there were too many ppl, my job was the reply speech and that's like the last last last. So by then, he decided to scrap it altogether and I ended up not having to do my reply speech.
Jac was adorable hahaha hilariously so. She kept having to repeat and repeat caz Loke was merciless lmaaooo funneh. I loved her reaction xD
Kenneth too bahaha the first few people gotta repeat their speeches caz Loke was such a slave driver :P with good intentions wahaha

I think Ruq's improving a hell lot. She really should speak up more, honestly. She can come up with some bad ass ideas.
And why is it that everytime Loke makes me debate against someone, I get screwed up?

First David killed the motion and defined it in such a retarded way which screwed everything up for me. And then now, Ruq defined abortion as abortion of runway models.

Wth?

I'm so suay really.
Oh oh oh I'm happy :) Caz Loke said my speech was good.
HAHAHAHHA stupid Ksah. Getting deliriously happy over small things. I'm so childish really. But he was wrong on several other things.
I cannot think big.
O_O
Wth?? It was total tycoism, me coming up with those weirdo points.
But I have to agree with Loke on Nicolette. He says she's the best speaker. And I told her, her rebuttals during the SP sparring was awesome albeit short (hello? her first time!!) she should stop beating herself up, seriously xD
And Josh is good no doubt about it.
xD

OH WELL. I spent $12 on the cab fare home.
:( I had to borrow 8 bucks from Dahliah, THANK YOUUUU
else I wouldnt have been able to get home in time THANKYOUTHANKYOUUU xD
Dahliah came later so it's like she came just as I was about to leave. I was suppsoed to leave at 5 but ah Loke held me up (hmph) so thus cabbing home.

The taxi driver was SO NICEEE. He's the nicest taxi driver I've had the fortune to chance upon. Really. Sucha nice guy. Should have more taxi drivers like him(:
Note: I don't like taxi drivers in general.
So he ranks high in my books!
heheh and then when we've reached my estate, I paid him (he scrapped the 10 cents it was $12.10, so nice! but psh, only 10 cents lmao) and then I COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR.
I sat there like a turd pushing and pushing and the door just wouldnt open.
lmaaooo stupid meeee.
The driver was very amused and he was teaching me how to open it and I tried and tried bahahahaha
Was successful after several embarrassing eons and the nice Mr TaxiGuy waved at me and bade farewell.

See? We need more of these nice people in Singapore :)

Sunday

Was the ew-est day. I SLEPT the ENTIRE freakin dayyy.
gross.
Woke up at 11 plus. Bathed. Helped out a little with the chores. Then slept from 1pm to 7pm.
ew
eeeeewwwww
:S
But then again, I was sick. THANKS TO CASSANDRA NG LIN <3
She passed me her flu so I had a blocked nose (I couldnt breatheee!!) and I sneezed like nobody's business.

So that's it for Sunday.
Boring.
haha, oh and Ryan looks hot in a tudung xD
I shan't post the pics afterall less Ryan die of embarrassment and I'd lose my bestest aussie mate ever tho it's only online.
Basically, I just stole his display pic on msn and painted a bright blue tudung on him. I couldn't really recognise his dp at first caz he looks different from all the previous photos I've seen him in.
Woo.
BUT, Ry tried painting a nice baby pink tudung on his and IT WAS FUNNYYY
hhahahahaha cracked me up.
Aww.. it was adorably stupidly funny xD

And Ryan's still hot ;) hahahaha so if there need be a scandal, I wouldnt mind so much.
HAHAHAHAHA okay SHAMELESS ELLE.
*slaps self*
lmao ryan, I'm so gonna miss that idiot once he leaves for Spain.
How dare the toot enjoy himself without moi?
Eeeeevil.

And isn't the blogskin nice? :D We set it up together wooo, and it was pretty fast. Faster than usual :P

OMG my post disappeared O_O
Thank god this blogger thing has this autosave thingy.
Else I would have stalked and hunted down whoever came up with this blogger thing and kill him for it.

By the way, Cass blogged about something funny:

I was telling my sis
how easy my bf'll have it next time
seriously.
im so in love with chocolates flowers and liang-liang-s
so typically girl luh.
pshh
lmao.
thats so sad.
i cant help it. but yet
i dont wanna be a typical girl.

hahaha, I remember talking to Ryan one night. And my nick was I'm not the easiest person to love<3. Ryan said I'm an easy person to love caz just give me fireworks and voila I'm happy.

And then he contradicted himself by saying my bf would be such a sad case caz no matter what he does, he'll never see me smile as wide as fireworks would.
NOT TRUEEE!!

heh

Okay, I should get ready to leave now. This have not been a productive morning.
Oh and one last thing before I go,
I do not like Joshua Wong that way and I AM NOT JEALOUS.
My god.
Somebody kill that pompous poophead.
lmaoo cnjdsbcjkavbvfh
Seriously.

-5152
Friends are the chocolate chips in the big cookie of life.
And you know how much I loooove chocolate.
-Cass

Dance Dance Revolution. Now, colapse!

2007-10-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

I love NP Ambassadors. But planning a camp for 2000 people?
O_O
It takes a lot of maths, and my brain cells are dying haha.
It's so confusing.
Oh well, today's Ambass meeting took about 3 hours plus. Met up with Xing Tong and Cassandra later.
I don't get it.
Why do they pair me up with either Ryan or Josh?
>.>
So wrong.
Cassandra has polluted Xing Tong's mind really. lmao. Maybe I should get a new name in. Then I'd have a new scandal.
-_-
The promos must have fried their brains. haha or maybe I miss them too much. Caz they seemed crazier than usual. <3
We talked all the way to my place. Talked rubbish of course.
And I forgot how violent they are...
xD
I've spent the past year slapping people. It's been ages since someone whacked me back. Painfully too. I almost forgot what it's like.
My skin isn't used to it xD
We need more violent people(:

Cass hogged my laptop at my place. Did lotsa nonsense too haha. Enjoy the pictures where these toots attempted DDR lmao.
I really want an mp3player/iPod/whatever that plays music.
Mine died :( And oh before they left, we played Rampage too.
My playstation is such an awesome outdated piece of junk :D

I miss these cuckoos.
I wish we still go to school together.
I wish.

-5061
I'm not the easiest person to love.

Stop Maid Abuse.

2007-10-04T19:48:00.000+08:00

I cleaned the toilet today.

And now, I would like to champion for maid's rights in Singapore.
Just because, I now know what it's like to clean a toilet. Imagine the whole load of other stuff you people are making your maids do.

And I don't even have a maid.

Lmao, I'm crapping.
I've scrubbed and washed and the toilet damn well shine.

And I'm fasting. So with a sponge in hand and a bottle of psycho-germ-killer detergent in another, I attacked the scum of the toilet. DIEEEEE SCUMM feel my wrath!!
I've sat on a toilet bowl for excretion purposes.
But I've never sat beside, under, whatever, you name it I've been every-freaking-where in the toilet.

There is officially no space in the toilet I have not scrubbed gross black thingies off. Except maybe the ceiling.

THANK GOD WE ONLY HAVE TWO TOILETS.
Else I would've died.

I wonder why mum bothers scrubbing it. She says bleaching won't work. Bah. Poor mama. And from now onwards poor me caz I'm sure she'll make me do this again next year.

I woke up at 11.30am today.
Yuck right?
And guess what? I slept at 3 to 7pm again.

eeeee

So, you know the time I spent awake, was the hours it took to clean the toilet.

Stop maid abuse.
They're not paid enough to do every single shit you make them do.

-5025
But you're the only face,
I recognize. It's so damn sweet of you,
to look me in the eyes.

P/S: Loads of Singapore love coming your way, Ryan Sotonghead <33333333333
Hang in there, sunshine ;)

Ask God.

2007-10-03T11:20:00.000+08:00

The cab fare last night was $9.80
Ouch.

Ryan's going to Spain.
:(
I wanna go too.
Take me along D;

As he leaves on the 16th, I would've already started school on the 15th.
lmao, this is totally unfair xS
Lucky pig xD

I've been surviving on pineapple tarts and chocolate chip cookies to last me the entire day. SO UNHEALTHY.
Mum didn't cook caz everyone's fasting so oh well, I've been out for Debates and erm, lost my appetite too
o.o
ANOREXIAAAAA

hahaha I should stop freaking myself out xD
Here's some pictures from yesterday's debate.

We were early, and these poor souls started having fun in the children's playground. Sighhh.. people with deprived childhood. Pity them xD

Of course, the children there weren't too happy. I think this picture takes the cake xD

hahahahahhaha I wanted to take a pic of Kenneth losing to a child on a swing but lmao I didn't realise Nicolette was in such a pose xD She voiced out my thoughts really. Haha wth...?

What a childish bunch
Retarddds xD

Josh acting emo lol.

Seriously...

I don't know these people hahaha

I've passed Joey the pics. I guess someone'll be making an account and posting it up. Lmao, then you guys can see the rest of the pics/ evidence of Debate peoples' insanity.
I'll post the link once it's up xD

What were they thinking?
xD

Of course, you won't see me in any of the pictures :)
I took the photos and I was sane.

-4975
There's a lot of things I understand,
and there's a lot of things,
that I don't want to know.

It's funny and insulting. At the same time.

2007-10-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

My mum thinks Debate is abusing me.
LMAO.
like uhhh ooookay.

She says I can't stand up for myself.

I don't know what to say.
Lol, I feel like laughing and slapping her at the same time.

I think, I'm gonna have to lie again.
I know my parents. Talking it out would work for less than a week maybe.
Then it'd start to grate on their nerves. And they'd piss themselves off without any provocation from me. They'd pick on little things and blow them outta proportion.
And then they'd use it as an excuse to completely ban me from everything and anything.

Told you.

Not the first time.

I'm gonna have to leave early.
And blow my @#$%ing money on cab. Sighhh...
IF I HAD A JOB, this wouldn't irritate me so.
Extra cash would come in handy, plus, I seriously need to get a new pair of slippers.

Really.

And I'm dying lmao, my mp3player died so ah, I can't drown out my mum's nagging in music.
Probably explains my very short temper recently.

Jacob ate a third of my free smses in one morning.
Wonderful.

Now, no more smsing for no reason. It's gonna blow really. I need it to last. For emergencies and stuff >.> lmao.

I shall try to stop blogging about my parents xD But oh well, if the only things plaguing me are my parents, money, and perhaps my future studies once the holidays stop, then life is great xD

So... how do I settle this once and for all without coming across rude?
Ah, stupid question. With my parents, every slight implication of me going against them is rude. Lol Ksah. You weren't thinking.

The weather looks nice today. ^^

-4928
I could be hurtful. I could be purple. I could be anything you like.

no one read that >.>

2007-10-01T21:07:00.000+08:00

okay.
No one read that.
Sshh.
Had a little tiff for awhile.
And I blew up.
shh.

Punggol was pretty today. Walked to the MRT caz my concession ended and there was only 7cents in my ez-link. It's been eons since I last walked to the MRT. I almost forgot how relaxing it is to have huge fields and vast skies. I love the openness haha.
Bought food for the family at Sengkang. Lugged it all home haha caz since I'm not fasting, I'd end up doing everything xD

I seriously need to talk to Daddy.
Me fighting it out with Mum isn't productive.
Problem is, I need to talk to Dad when he's rational. Not when he's tired from a horrible day at work, or when he likes to have some quiet time with his computer and TV.
Basically, it just means the right time to talk to him is so rare, it's almost never. But ah, I'll have to wait.
Not good.

Something possessed me today. The Mika song, you know, Grace Kelly, is stuck in my head. Horrible. But it's so fun to sing it and go all high and squeaky.
I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be vioiolet skyyyy
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you likeeee
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything moree

Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

(getting angry doesnt solve anything)

I can see why Cass likes this song lmao. But it's so annoying. I just find it unusually addictive today.
I keep singing it.
I keep humming it.
It's stuck in my head.
Get it outtt.

-4902
It's back to normal. Like always.

The day after.

2007-10-01T12:47:00.000+08:00

Lmao. funneh. But ah of course as horrible as they are, many thanks to Dahliah for holding my hand for the first few rounds haha. That was of course, before she turned traitor on me xD woo~

That was two days ago. I'm feeling the aftereffects and it's worse than ever haha. :/
I'd like to rant actually.
I'm really really pissed off.
Doesn't seem like it yeah?
I don't really like... being pissed on my blog xD
But it's so tempting to rant.

Oh well. Don't read this.

~~ssshhh ok rant deleted. i was pissed >.> I don't think when I get pissed. no one saw this no one read this shh. not a word.~~

sighh..okay i feel better now.
Just know, that this is not the first time.
It sure as hell isn't the first time. And you guys are not the first to advise me. So I know wtf I'm doing. But it's not fair. I'm going about this all right.
I've proven myself time and time again as the most responsible sensible independent daughter and those shitheads just take it all for granted ah you suck.

I can't even get a job...
What are you, retarded?

GOD.

okay khalisah shut up.
No point being miserable. Haha block it out block it out.
I've survived for years. I'll get a scholarship. Leave this shithole of a country. Get as far away from these chains. woo~

More motivation for me to study. Which is why I get pissed when they threaten to take me outta school. I need the education. I sure as hell don't wanna end up like my parents. Stupid. O level holders and passed 3-4 subjects only.
What a joke o_O

Okay, I feel fineeee now hahaha. Got the shits out, I'll survive the rest of today. I'm gonna clean the windows now. And mop the floor. and vacuum. And Loke's problem is something else for me to work out. I'll find a solution. I always do. If not, I would've killed myself by now. Lmao. Not that I believe in suicide but this is hell xD

Chores chores chores. Here I come.
Pray for me, loves.

-4887
Salute me. Heh.

The most unglam-est photos of me. Ever.

2007-09-30T19:14:00.000+08:00

Okay, Josh and Dahliah set up a blog specially for me. How sweet really *gags*
lmao, and here are the horrible pics Dahliah took. If I can't hide it (since they're gonna post it up anyway) might as well embrace it?

Feel honoured that you've seen me at my most unglam-est.

Me looking horrible in the pic. And Josh being retarded :)

See how my skates are leaned inwards? I have weak ankles :/

And boy, am I short.

LOL, look at me! xD Have this whiny lil bitch tantrum going on caz the bullying won't stop hahahaha

And oh that's Josh and his bro.
Horrible people xD

See? see? See the sotong behind me? HE ICED ME WHEN I FELL DOWN AGAIN LATER.

Helping me up was an act. Just so they can make me fall again.

And oh, the ice was fucking cold hahaha. My ass was freezing.

My freezing, wet, non-existent ass.

At first I was clinging on to Dahliah and Josh for dear life.
Then it came to a point such that I figured I'd be safer without them xD
How I've suffered xD

Anyway, hope you enjoyed laughing at me.
All I have to say is,
it's a miracle I survived.

Now, good lord, lend me your strength for my legs and butt hurts and I can't sit on the toilet bowl without wincing.

Thanks guys. You've been awesome xD
<3
Here's the stupid blog dedicated to me: Don't click this.

-4863
Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas.

Joshua and Dahliah. You... don't really suck. But maybe a little xD

2007-09-30T11:37:00.000+08:00

This post contains several strings of highly colourful expletives. You have been warned.

I woke up this morning.
And cursed.
I'm paralyzed.
*moves legs*
*moves arms*
okay, I'm not paralyzed. It just aches real bad.
*attempts getting out of bed*
FUCKKKKKK. screw those monkeys aahhh @#$%!@#$%!!!

Thanks to three of my most favouriteeee people in this world. I'll never forget them for the entire of next week. Every movement would blessedly remind me of those wonderrfull bunch of lovelies.

SCREW YOU LA.

no, i'm kidding xD
okay it's freakin tempting to blog in singlish. :/ and my english is truly dying. no doubt about that.

Now, let's blog about yesterfreakingday.
:)

I bluffed my mum. About having debate. Again. Sshh...
Met Josh at Cityhall at 12:45. and guess what? he had no plan in mind.
oh joy.
lmao, sooo we walked around aimlessly. And lalala I'm not gonna blog abt this much mainly it's because it's all abt me having the jealous worm eating me inside outtt.
Don't you just love guitars? And we saw a fatass camera that costs about god knows how many grand. I think I have selective memory, therefore subconsciously deleted the price from my memory.
Well done, you.

And congratulations to me. I opened my wallet, and all I see is a sad little two-dollar note.
*plays sad song on a violin*
I have about two dollars worth of coins in my wallet too. So that brings it up to about four dollars. When I'm supposed to have lunch, dinner, and ice-skating.

Oh joy.

I left $3 plus on the table. Forgot to put it in my wallet. SMART. Clever girl, you. AND worse of all, I forgot to ask mum for money.

OMG it so SUCKS to not have allowance during the holidays.
What kinda shittt is that??? Lmao, I scrimped and saved before the hols but of course, I only managed to save 50 bucks to last me throughout the entire holiday. The entire two-month holiday.

OH JOY.

lmao it's amazing I survived.

BUT, Joshua so rocked caz he paid for every bloody thing. THANK YOUUUUUUU
really really THANK YOU :D
Contrary to what you may think, me forgetting to bring money wasn't on purpose.
xD
really. I planned to pay for my own lunch, and maybe you'll just pay for iceskating for me and Dahliah (hahaha omg you spent a hell lot o_o) and perhaps, I'd skip dinner or something xD

Had lunch, at this place, ate fish masala crepe thingy? o_O I forgot haha :P
It was pretty good. It was YUM actually.
And I'm gonna be anorexic soon.
If I was fasting, I'd indulge in loads of late night gorging... Now that I'm not, I can have a fruit to last me the entire day.
o_O
Die. I need to get my diet right.

Lalala walked around, went to a bookstore even, and then we left and took a train to Jurong East (God, I've been going to the freakin west the entire week) AND AND AND OMG I MUST TELL YOU GUYS THIS.

Damn, I should have taken a picture.
xD
Joshua, being the total meanie, told me to stand up(since I was sitting down and he was standing) and look to the left.
And aaalll the way on the other end of the row of seats, was this poor dude, sprawled in his seat, head back and jaws wideeee open.
Sexy.
NOT.
HAHAHAHHAHA omg the poor soul, an entire family of sparrows could nest in his mouth and the babies would hatch and all and he'd still have his mouth open as wide as the grand canyon.
I felt like going up to him and just... pushing his jaws close.
Comical really, omg, it's so mean to laugh, the poor dude must have been REALLY tired. But oh god, the sight lmaaaooo SO TOTALLY UNGLAM.

What is this? Unglam Day?
My unglam stories coming right up, don't worry :S

Went to the ice rink, stared at everyone. lmao and you have no idea, I had butterflies in my tummy and totally regretted suggesting ice-skating.
The only comfort I can bring to myself is that, if ice-skating wasnt unusual, we would've gone reverse bungee-ing thingy.
>.>
I think I'd pee in my pants.

Dahliah, girl, you're mad. hahahaha.

So, I tried watching people skate and like learn, so I would have a bit of a head start later on the ice..
THEN, we went down to NTUC to buy Dahliah her orange juice. O_O
lmaooo sotong.
Josh almost wanted to get this obscenely huge one for her. hahaha it's so fat seriously.
And then he disappeared looking for gloves. In NTUC? like wha? The lady showed him latex gloves wtf? You want me to wash dishes on ice? hahaha stoopid gloves.

Oh, met up with Dahliah and Josh's bro, whose name I forgot I'm so so sry o_o
They don't look alike... at all.
lmao.
He's pretty quiet at first, not that I talked much to him either but haha Dahliah the noisy sotong xD

ooookay here's the most embarrassing and unglam-est moments in my entire lifeeeee.

O_O

I went ice-skating.

Like
WTF WAS I THINKING SUGGESTING THIS TO THESE PEOPLE???????

If it was with Cass and XT I would have a relatively safe first time on the ice. But noooooo I HAD to say it. Me and my biggg mouth.

Let me tell you something. Ice is fucking cold. I'm sure you know that, but it's COLDDDD BLOODY COLD I TELL YOU.

Chilled to the bonesss.

But, I think I should be proud of myself. I didn't fall down at all.
Well, I didn't fall down on my own of course.

THANKS TO DAHLIAH AND JOSHUA WONG EEJIT.

Dahliah kept tickling and poking me. So the first time I plopped my ass down on the ice-cold iceee was thanks to Dahliah. She did it TWICE. like omgggg.
Once my butt came in contact with the ice I felt like screaming seriously.
It's damnnnn c-c-coldddd.
Plus, it was wet, and it soaked my ass all the way. Even my panties were wet O_O
GROSS cold and gross aahhh.
Joshua honoured me with my third fall.
AND WHAT WAS WORSE is that while I was on the ice, this dude went skating towards me, did a fancy break and sprayed ice all over me.

WHYYYY omg WHYYY???
DID YOU KNOW? DID YOU? DID YOU?
That ice went down my shirt?
DID YOUUUUUU????

The ice chips went slidingggg down my body and I felt like dancing oh oh soo colddd.
What was worse was that I couldnt get some out, so it kinda melted there I think it was stuck in my fucking bra or something.

To experience what I've just gone through, just take chips of ice and pour it down your back. You just need a single tiny piece to freak you out totally actually.
Not a very enjoyable sensation.

But the dude was an instructor Dahliah knew, he's from NP apparently(if I'm not wrong) he helped me up. taught me basic walking skills, and psh I did try walking, it helped me get the hang of it more quickly but I'm impatient lmao.
All I wanted to do was learn how to skate asap to that I can kill both of them.

It's so frustrating when you totally wanna slap them and all they have have to do is skate away from you nyeh nyeh nyehh
t('-'t)

I swear, I was sooo vulgar throughout the entire thing, I've never been more vulgar in my entire life. Cursing them all the way lmaooo and flipping my fingers like nobody's business.

ARGH, I felt like killing them seriously.

Josh's bro was my good friend :) UNTIL he crossed over to the dark side. Shit.
First, Dahliah and Josh the two idiots clamped on to my arms and zoomed around the rink. All I could think was omfg I'm gonna die. I'm gonna fall and break my neck and die and go to hell.

And then God would say in a big booming voice," WHYYY WERE YOU NOT WEARING YOUR TUDUNG AT THE TIME OF YOUR DEATH, KHALISAH TANNN???"

I fell twice more I think, but ah, the last fall takes the cake.
THE MOST TOTALLY UNGLAMMM
Horrible Dahliah took pictures :(

Of my wet butt and me falling and oh oh this is blackmail.

JOSH BRO THE TRAITOR and Dahliah the traitor long long haha
Whyyy?? I thought you were a nice person?! YOU'RE MY GOOD FRIEND NO MORE.
lmaaaooo
omfg josh's bro was worse he was freaking zooming I couldnt even think, Holy fucking crap. holy cow oh oh holy marcoroni

PSH. And don't make fun of me skating >.> it's my first time EVER. I think I was okay for a first time yes?
lmaaaoo considering I don't even know how to rollerblade, and rollerbladed once in my entire life only and even that was a disaster.

I shall not move my arms while skating anymore >.> Josh's bro made a truly comical sight imitating me skating PSHHH fineee make fun of the poor noob pfftt..

To think you guys enjoyed tormenting me so much and had such an awesome time and I came out of this in the worst possible shape. I was wet all over and they were all dry. Bastards.*coughs*

LMAO but it was fun. omg i'll probably never forget this O_O i think to have a first time with those buncha people, is the worse thing that could possibly happen.

HORRIBLEEE PEOPLE.

But see? I'm so awesome. Toldya.
;)

Returned the skates, borrowed Josh's shirt to cover up my wet ass less i look like I've peed, else made it obvious- This Girl Just Went Ice-Skating. And Fell.
Took a bus aaalll the way to Holland V. Psh, a train wouldve been faster -_-"
talked rubbish in the bus and my ass hurt >.>

Had dinner at n.y.d.c. and erm, I haven't eaten there before caz it wasn't exactly... erm, ah.
halal?
-.-

SSHHHH I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON ahem ahem.
But ah, whatever. I've had enough excitement to last me the rest of the year..
I didn't finish my food again. Anorexia, here I comeee..

After some food to feed the boys, (Joshua nearly breathed fire. His bro tried some and both ended up sweating... -.-) Josh bro turned into the dramaking PSH, and lalala I knowwww I live sucha a sheltered life and they seriously tempt me into doing something drastic...

It kinda irks me that my mom can bitch and moan about me when the facade she sees should damn well make her appreciate the kinda super guai daughter she has.

Seriously, I couldve been worse >.> Not that I'm very good now, but I've been living a double life and person they thought I am is fucking awesome yo. I'm your most wonderfully sheltered tudung girl.
I can say with utmost confidence that my parents do NOT know me.
woo.
-.-

oh well, I've been lying to get out the entire week. Was late to get home of course and I WAS NOT WORRIEDD!!
I was for a moment, but I called my mum, situation's fine after that, no one's gonna blow up at me or ban me from the net or going out ever (lmao and i thought my life couldnt get any sadder xD) I was just stoning guys... I stone alot okay! and falling so many times on ice is exhausting...

I scoff at you people who run away from home over the tiniest things.
Look at my parents xD I should have high tolerance level by now >.> Not.
xP
Ah, my parents should appreciate me right? :)
They damn well, huh.
I could actually be tempted to o something drastic ;)

once again, THANK YOU YOU HORRIBLY WONDERFUL PEOPLE.
You gave something I've longed for since forever. A once in a lifetime (maybe) experience(mainly traumatic and embarrassing and deffo memorable) and took away my butt :)
I know I have a small ass.
But I fell on my ass so many times it flattened out totally. I have no more ass.
Nice.
My butt is finally non-existent.

A dream came true.
Love yall <33333
Try not to kill me next time.
xD

-4849
Lies lies denies :D

Crybaby

2007-09-28T19:55:00.003+08:00

This video is so sad seriously.
It made me cry.
O_O
I'm such a crybaby.

There's a spider in the toilet.

2007-09-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

Yes there is.
A spider.
In the toilet.
*shudders*

This week has been the craziest of weeks.

Tuesday

Debate from 1-9pm. like woa. xD Really productive. I'm happy. hehe x)

Wednesday

Debate sparring with SP.
JOKE OF THE CENTURY.
My god, I ashamed.

Seriously, it was dumb. You don't bang your tables and shout "hear hear" when your speaker up there is talking absolute and complete crap. Sheesh. The third speaker's speech MY GOD grates on my nerves like a bad song by a delusional bigheaded k-fed. It was completely redundant and random. TSK. AND SJ WAS THERE like wtf. CRESCENT LOTS. you know who SJ is right? Well, she pretty much summed up my impression of the SP debate team. What a joke.

I'm such a hypocrite. But I was happy to see her. SJ, I mean. Being Crescentian. For a moment. Then I thought, Shit, she's in debate? wth?
So now we know she's in SP, and in debate...

ANYWAY, I should have done better really. Slap meeeee.
Shoot me.
I wanna die.
xS

Went to Loke's place after that o.o
ALL the way in Bedok.
lol and it ended pretty late. I have a curfew :/
So, I left early. Cabbed home and CRAP LA wasted 10 bucks.
Stupid Ksah.
-.-

Thursday

MARIEEEEE
muhahaaha went out with that psychooo <333
AWESOMEEEE
We met at Paya Lebar (I lied to get out of course, said bye mum, gtg, i'm late! *zooms off* she wasnt too happy xD)
I miss herrrr woo. Wanted to go to East Coast but us sotongs being so random, went all the way to Jurong for ice skating instead. Caz the weather looked weird.

And then,
it was closed to the public.

-_-
BUT it's okay, saw some skaters practicing with music and stuff and omgomgogomg so cool.
They make it look so easy.
I wanna be like that too.

I wish I was good something. Something as cool as ice skating probably.
Sighhh...
Took neoprints they're so cuteeee seriously. <3!!
Didn't do much cept walking around and talking a hell lot haha. Caz we're retarded.
Had dinner and I should stop eating fast food really.

Lime juice rocks.
Man, I need to hang out with Marie more lmao.
Haven't been keeping in touch with the MI people
:/
But oh well, YAY hang out soon, Marieee <333

Today

BAKED COOKIES. yummeh.
And well, planning to go out with Joshua and Dahliah tomorrow.
To ice skate. Wtf. I'm deadbroke hahaha.

Dahliah wanted something unusual. Psh, what's unusual in SG?! lmao. But she questioned my awesomeness and said since I'm so awesome, I should be able to come up with an awesome plan for Sat.

I just had to prove it and say ICE SKATING.
Well done Khalisah. More $kaching$ gone.
But how exciting xD And I'm still awesome. IN YOUR FACE, suckkerrrrss xD

And I havent eaten anything but a bowl of noodles since morning. Wow.
The fasting really screwed my system up. I can go without food. Lmao. That's good. Saves a hell lot of $$$$MONEH$$$

I may be going out with the debate peeps on Sunday. Like woa. Seriously going out alot.
And oh I lied to my parents abt Sat too.
Psh, I lie about everything. Just so I can get a life.
I'm gonna get caught one day, I tell you.
I just have this horrible feeling xD

-4782
I said it's too late to apologize.

YADA.YADA.NADA.NADA.

2007-09-26T17:31:00.000+08:00

WOO. the fray's all at once is the besttttt. (: lyrics rock too.

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come.

nya nya nya. anyway. asked dad about the trip to spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. and i'm going next month. :D woo hoo. probably for two weeks or more... anddddddddddd, i'm gonna be quitting the job in the beginning of november... cos i have to start packing up again.. O_O... to malaysia. ha ha. and etc etc etc etcccccccccccc.

latursss.

(ry)

one of those rare inexplicably happy satisfied feelings

2007-09-26T11:55:00.000+08:00

I'm happy.
My ass hurts.
My brain hurts.
My eyes hurts.
My leg hurts.
My muscles hurt.

But I'm oh so happy x)

Weird eh?

Yesterday was a nice night. The moon was as bright as ever.
Mum kinda killed the mood, but nothing big :)

I can't get a job. But I'm gonna have a talk with my dad.
You can't be stubbornly blind and ignorant to the point that it's just blatantly...unreasonable xD

Seriously, they can bitch and moan about how their daughter is sooo dependent (ahem ahem) on them. But they freak out when I told them I'm getting a job -_-

You can't argue with stupid.
And in this case, stupid = pathetic attempt at coddling a growing teen and yet saying they're not.
Contradicting, really.

Sighhh
I know you love me, but don't hug me so tightly... I can't breathe, yo?

Okay, I'm off... TO EAT.

muahahahaha

-4682
Someday we'll know why Samsom loved Delilah.

funny

2007-09-24T15:03:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 11 today.
EEWW
My head hurts :S

But I woke up late because... I dreamt of Ryan.
AHAHAHAHAHA
ahahahahaha
hhahahahahaha

OH LMAAOO

xD

I just need to tell him about my dream before I forget xD hurry hurry. xP

It's so stupid lmao.
Weird.
I blame Ryan :/ lol.

The finger of death catches me by the back of my throat
Forcing its purpose down while my insides fight back with a mighty push
My heart screams within its empty sphere
I’m choked up with a war lodged in my throat
Empty and drained, I’m hollowed out
Shed not a tear, even for the dead

-Paperbag

Yesterday

Singapore Debate Opennnn <3333
LIKE omgogmgomgogmogmogm
I SHOULDN'T have missed the one on Sat. But ah at least I got to watch the quarter, semis and FINALSSS.
They are like GODS like like omggggg
I wish I could debate like them xD So awesome.

And there's so many eye candies bahahaha
They are hawt, yo.
And they spoke wonderrrfully. And omfg I am so freaking noob compared to them. And to think we're supposed to be alrdy at their standards.
:(
AWESOME<3

I love debate all over again.
>.>
lmao.
You should hear them seriously. It's not stupid like the ones you see on The Arena, god that show was lame. It's all cool, and sophisticated and posh and dammit, I love their english. I shall achieve that standard of english by next year(:

woo~

And NUS is my future >.>
I really hope haha.

I just wanna get into a great uni. *prays*

Of course, I shall buck up next semester. Our timetable is pretty nice. awesomeeee really. We end pretty early. Ah, year one is the love. I should get as much As as possible in year one... wtf, I screwed my previous sem so badly.

KHALISAH, you shall STOP being a frikkin lazyass.

After the Singapore Debate Open, met mum at Kembangan. Apparently there's some gathering.
And it was COOL. Caz we all broke fast together.
AND THERE WERE TURKS hahaha. erm what do you call people from Turkey? Turks? Turkish?
lol I don't know so whatever.
FOOD WAS GREAT. Turkish food is the YUMMMM <3
The men cooked the food caz all the Turkey people were mostly men there.

I think it's so cool to be mix.
HAHA SUCKERRSS
Caz the people in my religious classes (the ones I get dragged to at night) are mostly people like me. Mixed or just non-malay muslims.

I know a chinese woman from china married to a Pakistani guy and they have a cute daughter ^^ I know a singaporean chinese woman married to a guy from Turkey. And another singaporean chinese married to a Pakistani with so many kids(I love the youngest baby, Isa is soooo CUTE omg he's adorable, his eyes are grey and he loves me^^ <3 he never cries with me and I'm the only one besides his mom he would walk to and and aahhh i love him so. He even drooled on me and slapped me xD Isn't he the sweetest?) I know turkish families, I know chinese-malays like me, I know indian-malays.

ADMIT IT. IT'S COOL.
hahahahaha

I guess this is the only place were I feel I truly fit in. I don't have to care about an all-chinese clique or all-malay clique or all-indian clique seriously, life as a mix in singapore isn't smooth sailing all the way.

Of course, my clique in crescent was totally multiracial.
Chinese- Cass, XT, Karmen, Bec
Indian- Divya
Malay- half me hahaha
Indonesian - Fera

This was my clique in sec 2? I think. Of course we all drifted away later. Sad :(

lmao. aaanyway. I made Popiah <3 YUMMEH. I'm so hungry (shut up)
ok ok I shall read the newspapers now. Oh no, I'm supposed to look up on NASA by tmr...
Woo I feel like studying -.-

Crazy.

-4625
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you are the one to build me up and tear me down

wtf is wrong with you?

2007-09-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

I'm fine now.

My anger rarely last long. But I'm kinda frustrated. Usually when I get mad, I'm explosive, but I get super ultra angry for 5 to 10 mins, and then it goes away.

Thus, the previous post.

My problems would sound trivial now.
Wait, what problems? Ahem. I don't think they're even classified as problems.

My life is great. lmao. no problems. just annoyances. and the lack of moneh. LOL.

I was angry because a whole fat load of crap just landed on me within a span of five mins.
So, I broke. I snapped. And I was a helluva angry lady.

The two main causes:
a) my parents taking double standards to a whole new height.
b) my dear friend Hidayah

Now I know I've been the most evilest of friends complaining about Hidayah on this blog. And I'm sorry. It's just frustrating. Very freakin- ah, let's not go there.

Hidayah told me to be available today. So we could give out porridges lmao. It's some community thing. We'd probably help give out porridges at the mosque or something I think. She has it all planned out.

Two days ago, went I met up with her for a damn short and unproductive while with Fasihah, she warned me that I better remember about Saturday (today)

"DON'T FORGET, know? You better not tell me last minute that you can't go okay?!"

"YES, I KNOW! Haha, I said I'll go with you on Saturday. I promised what..."

"Yeah okay good."

That was two days ago. And I called her around noon today to ask her what time we were supposed to meet up since she hasn't contacted me at all.
And she picked up and said oh, I cancelled everything since you didn't contact me yesterday.

And I was like, WHAT?! You're crazy!
Then she went, you just relax and stay at home and be happy for today la. Why? Did you have something on?
Me: Hell yeah? I was supposed to be at the Singapore Debates Open today! But I told them I couldn't make it and I'd go tomorrow.
She: Oh, I'm so sorry okay? Sorry caz you didn't call me yesterday so I cancel everything already.

I don't believe this...
like what the @#$%?
You can't just last minute cancel out on me! You can't make me promise and CONFIRMED it with me and just cancel it on the day itself..

omfg.
Hidayah, I totally love you, but I thought you considered me your best friend? If so, why do you just take me for granted? (woo I sound like a retarded emo kid throwing a tantrum)

HORRIBLEEE

Jac would have killed me. KILLED ME. It's such a stupid reason to miss out on it.
Not that I'm soooo excited to go like ogmogmogomgogm BUT I kinda wanna go, and it would have been a great experience. I thought it would be okay to miss it for Hidayah less she thinks I broke my promise and we're drifting apart and and-
I'm tired of making an effort to stick to her, and I was happy about this stupid porridge thing because it was the first in so long that she planned something so we'd keep in touch and get together...

Plus stupid Joshua asked me to go ice-skating @#$%!@#$
Not that I can go anyway. If Hid didn't abandon me I would've gone to debate.
Okay, never mind that I passed up the chance to go ice-skating (and nvm that I've never ice-skated before in my life and it's listed as one of the things I need to do before I die) I am now, publicly announcing that, YONG XING TONG and CASSANDRA NG LIN you both have been BOOKED to go ICE-SKATING with the ever fantabulous ME after your STUPID PROMOS :) Everyone else is welcome to join.

Josh you pig. You'll pay for this torture via deprivation somehow xD

Oh well, I'm not gonna be bothered anymore, and I hope this would be the last Hidayah-related post. If she wants to keep in touch with me she can damn well plan something, I don't wanna be the one calling her and well she has promos so I shan't bother her anymore. I feel horrible bitching about her on my blog but part of me feels so... used. It's almost as if she deserves it...

I'm a horrible person, in case you haven't caught on yet.

Ah well, I don't know... and my parents. God, my close friends would know how retarded my parents can be but they are really pushing it this time.
And all this just makes me feel as if I'm not being appreciated enough. Like I'm being taken for granted.

All this happened in about five to ten minutes and thus resulting in that explosion in the previous post.

Hmm.. to blog about my parents would be hard caz there'd be 438726542542 incidents that clearly points out the obvious but inevitable flaw in my parents' ... parenting.

To cut it short since I'm no longer explosively angry, they are really bias.
And unreasonable.
So, after that conversation on the phone, I needed to blog, badly.
And I found out that I am still barred from the net. My dad blocked the internet connection.

And I asked him why. And he said he's banning me from the net.
So I said, Why? I've vacuumed the living room. I've borrowed 7 books to read. I cleaned my room. And I'm planning on revising. So why?

"Ask your mother, she says you've been using too much internet already. I'm banning you from the internet. You go do something else. If you need to check whatever email, do it some other day."

"WHAT? How could you do that?! I didn't do ANYTHING WRONG. You're so random. You're so random."

Ah, with that, my voice broke(how embarrassing) and I was on the verge of tears. And I was so pissed off caz I rudely left Jacob and Ryan abruptly on msn last night thanks to my parents' inconsideration.

See? I told you it was trivial. But I was pissed and I couldnt poor it on my blog so oh well. My parents KNOW they are being unreasonable. Oh they know damn right.
And then my mum yelled and scolded me for taking that tone with my dad. like WHATEVER. I just said you're so random like wow, mum I was being so sad and angry about this unfairness and you called that rude? Hello? I'm a freaking teenager? that's uhh NORMAL? AND JUSTIFIED SEEING AS YOU LOTS ARE SUCH ANAL RETARDS?

This morning, at 5 am, we woke up to eat before starting our fast.
My brother brought the pillow to the dining table.
So my dad joked kindly saying, you know, don't bring the pillow here, put it back in your room.

My bro laid his head on the pillow and said rudely and impatiently, "Sighh...Shut up!"

And so I snapped,"DONT BE RUDE TO YOUR FATHER."

My dad didn't even react. WHY DO YOU GET PISSED OVER NOTHING WHEN IT COMES TO ME AND YOUR SON IS JUST SO BLATANTLY RUDE AND YOU DONT GIVE A SHIT?

He just joked (albeit it sounded sad to me) "See? At least my daughter loves me"

And I was pissed caz he's suppose to freak and scold him like he always did to me over trivial things. But part of me felt happy. Which child wouldn't? Everyone yearns for their parents approval. And so, I was disgusted. With myself, with my dad, with my brother.

Another incident, (one last one I promise)

Bro: Sugar.

Mom: What?

Bro: TSK, MORE SUGAR. Sheesh.

Mom obediently stood to get more sugar.

Me: You crazy uh? Talk to your own mother that way.
(It's amazing how I can get angry for them)

Mom: It's okay.

WTF?
You freak and scold and ground me over the stupidest silliest things?
And my bro gets away with everything when he doesnt even give you a single shred of decent RESPECT?

These are all very small trivial matters of course. And I'm living with it, and much more worse things but my fingers are too tired to type them down.
I can live my life happy really haha, but yea, I'm just explaining the reason for that five minute explosion xD

Anyway this is a shit long post.
Cya

-4572
I got over it.

#@$!%

2007-09-22T13:09:00.000+08:00

I am so fucking pissed.

Screw vulgarity. I'm gonna fucking use it as much as I want to.

Cass, close your eyes.

FUCKKKKKK

I HATE YOU.

bvfjsugirdsjkzcfbdag

I am so so so sorry, Ryan.

I'M TIRED OF APOLOGISING.

cmndsbjue/bdjsknlbvtgf

I don't have time to blog right now. But I am royally PISSED OFF.
I'll blog soon. So many things are pissing me off at one go. I don't know which one's the worst.

But I have to go.
Thanks Jacob, I don't feel as pissed off now as I was 5 mins ago.

but still, it freaking bothers me. a fucking lot.
argh

all you shits

fuck you.

-4562
Sighh... sorry Ryan and Jacob. Really really sorry.

The Change

2007-09-21T14:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterdayy

I was late for debate yesterday :S
And I called David, and they were ending at 3:45. So by the time I reached there, it'd have ended...

It wasn't my fault I was held up..

AND THEN,
I sat at Outram MRT station.

And watched the trains go by.

LOL. I was looking through my phonebook in my handphone, finding people to go out with. And then it hit me how sad it was that I have very little people I know whom I can just call and say "HEY, let's go out. Like now."

And I really really really reaaaalllyyyy missed the crescent lots, and I really didn't wanna bother poor Cass. Promos are sooo near omgomgomg.
I didnt want to bother Hidayah too. And now is so not the time to call up on Xing Tong, ARGH faster fasterrr good luck with promos!!

SO, I tried finding poly people to go out with.
I contacted Fasihah, and asked Hidayah if she wanted to join us.

AMAZINGLY, Hidayah suggested breaking fast with us. And we were to meet at Jurong Point (again -.-) at 5pm then break fast together.

while waiting for these toots to get back to me, I sat there like an idiot watching 7834296574 trains pass by every 5 mins.

Somehow, it gave me a false sense of purpose. It's like I'm just waiting for the next train to come, and the next train, and the next train, and the next...

I called Cass, she was studying in school, shan't bother the poor girl (YOU DAMN WELL ACE YOUR PROMOS!! xD ) she entertained me while I waited haha you don't want to know what we talked about, really.

Met up with FASIHAHHHH <3333
wooo it's been sooo long since I last went out with her, she's always busy that girl, with psychology and whatnot xD
SO FUNNN xD
lmao
Besides Cass and Tong, Fas is the one other cuckoo I can get retardedly high and crazy with xP

We decided to let out our inner child and went to Toys R Us.
SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA
Seriously, we started playing with all the toys, and laughed our asses off and oh god, we were so retarded xD

Met up with Hidayah at 5pm. Apparently she's bringing her bf along. Whatever really. I TOLDDD HER to just let her bf go out with HIS OWN friends so that he wouldnt be so pissed when she goes out with us caz it's only fair see?

But did she listen to me? nooOOoooo

Fine. Eurgh. Be one of those girls who abandon your mates for your guy.
This is retarded.

Does she have ANY idea how awkward it is, to have her bf around? And they hold hands and be all romantic and I feel like me and Fas are being such extras.
Well, if her bf was FRIENDLY and made friends with us and TALKED to us it wouldn't be so bad, but do you really have to be all mushy in front of us?!

GOD.

Whatever.

ANYWAY, we ate at Banquet and I finished my horfun noodles (however you spell that) it's so yummeh really and tasted some of Fas's rice thingy, I forgot what it was and Fas tasted mineee and I munched on the fries Hidayah shared with us and after it all, I still felt... hungry.

LMAO

Ate ice cream at Scoops- AH HEAVENLYYY
chatted with Fas(:
and Hidayah left with her guy so she didn't join us.

we went home after that. talked in the train too and we agreed that we'd both do well next sem I'm gonna pull my ~~f-cking~~ pathetic GPA up. AND I GOT AD FOR CATS HAHAHAHA it just goes to show I'm so creative see? xD LMAO KIDDING.

Anyway, I'm gonna study during the hols. Revise whatever shit I need to know to get my foundation right, I'm not gonna screw next sem again. THEN, I'm gonna find a weekend job. I'm so scared my parents won't allow me to work, really.

It's so stupid.
I'm old enough like omg...

Anyway I need the money, I need to buy several things.. :P

haha woooo

All that separates
Is a pane of glass
And it's holding us back
Giving in to time
It's only wearing us out
You turn to leave
And back to see
I'm still there
You're right there
But it's still here
And it is your move
Once again...

-Paperbag

-4533
I wanna go to Spain too, you fat SOTONG.

YAHOO.

2007-09-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

nyahahahaha. USE ME AS YOU WILL, PULL MY STRINGS JUST FOR A THRILLLLL lololo. hehhh.

1.YAYYYYY for rahhhh. :)

2.Work = fun (for some reason)

3.Yay for the "Woo, i can get sexual too" song. lmao funny shit.

4.and wooooot for trip to spain. :):):):). weeee.

and yada yada. =]

ryannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Feeling everything at the same time.

2007-09-20T11:42:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling happy-sad.
There should be a new word for it.
Happad.
Yeah, I'm feeling happad now. xD

Stupid Kung Pow Enter the Fist is such a dumb show.

Let's quote.

Killing is bad.
Killing is wrong.
Killing is bad and wrong.
There should be new word for this.
Bad-wrong.
Badong.
Yes, killing is Badong.

-stupid character in the show

ok I'm not sure if I quoted it right, but it went something along that lines.
And it was, for some reason, funny.
LMAO I cracked up. And laughed like a hyena on drugs. That's how stupid the show was.
xD

Anyway, happy caz SARAHH IS READING THIS MWAHAHAHAHA
And sad caz she should come baackk we all miss her soooo muchh.
<3 stay happy, my cuckoo fats.

Yesterday, I went for an ambassador meeting at 10 am. And then an ambassador booth duty at 12 noon. And it was in Crescent.

And let me say something.
I don't like you, Crescent Girls' School.

This is coming from an ex-crescentian herself but I DON'T LIKE YOU. NYEH.
It was horrible. Even Matt (my senior) was sweating and sweating in the air-coned hall. Poor guy hahahaha
It's so drastic a difference, compared to booth duties at neighbourhood schools; schools whose name I've not even heard of; schools I didn't know exist; schools I had to take a cab to the middle of nowhere and getting lost among HDB estates.

It's so...horrible.
The girls were so... rude. No wait, not rude, polite indifference that came across as.. a little rude.
We were standing there and they were swarming around us, and so we say,"Hey there, any particular course you're interested in?"

Most, ignored us totally and carried on searching for the leaflets they need.

Some, looked up, stare at us, then continue searching.

Most, ignored us totally and chatted with their friends.

Some, just continued staring at us with an eyebrow raised.

and ONE PERCENT would look up and smile, shake their head politely and went about doing their own business.

I counted only four who asked for the course leaflet they needed, thanked (some didn't) and walked away. And two who actually asked me questions about the courses.
And the two were nice polite girls.

Matt was busy standing there sweating looking for a single approachable face (failing miserably of course caz it appears none of them looked approachable to me) and after several eonss haha he finally went off with Clement and managed to talk to several girls.

Sam kept laughing haha and told me to talk to my very own juniors but hey, I myself was scared of them hello? Sam and Thomasina- wooo go girls- did their job with such determination hahaha I think they were the most successful of the lot.
However, I saw alot of Crescentians that didnt bother pretending to be interested in what the ambassadors had to say, body language was screaming- I want to get away and I'm not listening.

Poor us. And there was SIX of us, when there were only four required. Everyone likes Crescent.
Matt says that's the last time he's going to an all girls school haha.
And well, me too.

Comforting to know that girls in IJ schools were worse; I heard they don't even smile, they just snub you off. Alot of the crescentians were okay I guess, but compared to the other schools I've been to...

I'm so sad to be treated this way by my own juniors.
DON'T YOU DARE SNUB ME.

lmao. I finally gave up and so I carried a small stack of RedCamp forms and approached the largest group closest to me sitting on the chairs at the front of the hall.

MY GOD IT WAS SCARY.

I was all hyper and friendly,
"HEEEYY everyone!! Anyone interested in signing up for NP's RedCamp?"
And grinned happily (waiting for someone to ask me about it so I could launch into an exciting description of what RedCamp is all about)

*crickets*

Total silence. They all stopped talking, and all turned to face me (so I'm like surrounded; trapped in a circle) AND STARED AT ME LIKE I WAS A FREAK.

O_O

Half of them raised an eyebrow and glanced at each other then went back to staring at me.

I feel like slapping them.

and screaming,"DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, BITCHES!" *SLAPS*

No, I'm kidding. Sighhhh...

Well, OBVIOUSLY, the silence was uncomfortable, so I went on babbling about RedCamp feeling my words fall flat on the floor watching the expression on their faces.

So I stopped. And said,
"And oh girls, you know what? I'm actually an ex-crescentian too! I just graduated last year actually."
^^ ksah is all smiles.

They stopped with the whatever expression on their faces and looked surprised.
Some went, "Really?"

And I was like, " Yeaah. And there's loadsss of ex-crescentian in Ngee Ann too, do you know Qixin? Lin Qixin?"

Everyone was like, nooo...

"You don't know her?! I thought she was pretty popular. She's in track if I'm not wrong."

And a couple of girls started talking to each other,"Oh yeahh Qixin yea yea bla bla bla," They still didn't include me in their convo, but nvm it's okay, I've gotten the group's attention now.

I attempted promoting RedCamp again but it was apparent that they really weren't interested. Then there was this friendlier girl in a white dress, who started gushing to me about a hot guy in Engineering who was in our school's magazine and everyone started laughing, tension evaporated a little. I ended up joking with them a little, accomplishing nothing except talking about people in the School of Engineering, "90% guys, 1% girls, 9% neither here nor there." I WAS KIDDING by the way, relax, at least they laughed.
I called out to Clement to ask if there's any one of us from engineering, and Clement and Matt were so excited they came back with a whole stack of engineering leaflets; the girls wanted to laugh lol, poor guys.
And talked about my time in Crescent, there were awkward silences in between, they probably thought I was weird or something WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BE FRIENDLY TO MY OWN JUNIORS?!

:(

I was okay with previous duties.. the girls here give off such a scary unwelcoming aura...
Intimidating vibes.
Yes, intimidating.

Oh well, that was unproductive, but I gave out quite alot of forms, wooo
Ran outta Business Studies brochures.

We ended quite early. We went off to town, I called my cousin to meet up, I was bored and I didn't wanna go home just yet. Plus I was fasting, else I would've joined the rest for lunch or something..

Window shopped at Tampines with Syida's friend. Then went over to her home in Pasir Ris, watched TV and stupid cartoons which cracked me up with Syamir.

Syida slept in her room with her friend while I watched Syamir playing on the gameboy; playing One Piece like woa, I nvr thought they'd have it, so cool.

Then mum called, I didn't answer of course, she's not supposed to know I've been wandering about. I went home, then answered mum's call, and unfortunately I needed to buy something for my bro.

SO, I went baaack to Sengkang to buy KFC popcorn chicken meal (yummeh) for my bro, there, a group of secondary boys rudely cut the queue in front of me and they looked at me, expecting me to lash out at them.

lmao, tempting to roll my eyes caz the queue was so.. short, I don't see the need for them to cut any queues so I moved to the next queue (there were only one person on front of us -_-") I was to tired to do anything haha, my face was exhausted from all the smiling during my booth duty in Crescent.
I was incapable of facial expressions. xD Too tired to summon the energy to get angry.. actually it was so stupid, I doubt I'd get angry either. AND I WAS DYINGG of thirst from all the talking and promoting and my legs were tired and my butt wanted to sit down lalala

And then, I went home.

-4499
there's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

Baking your own Bread

2007-09-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

I baked my own bread today.
heh. I hope it turns out tasty.
:)
It smells good already. wheee

I'm nibbling on DARS bitter chocolate now. <3 tastes heavenly ^^

ah, this is another one of those random blog posts xD
nothing to rant about.
nothing to gush about.
neither here nor there.

I'm feeling just.. normal :D

To be part of none
The beat is one
And the heart sinks below the soul
Precious weep
And dry spells seep
Breath reeks of desperation
Cold are feet
Fingertips bleed
Eyes are ready to close
Promises keep
Let hope sing you to sleep
And remember again tomorrow

-Paperbag

I thought I'd lose weight, you know, since I'm fasting and all. But I have a feeling, I'm heavier. Too many late night gorging.
:S
And I eat waaay too much unhealthy stuff. And eat waaay too much in a short period of time.
I have almost two dinners every night. Second dinner would be less heavy than the first of course.
I ate strawberries with whipped cream for dessert.
Oh, and a bowl of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream (again) twice per night with a 1-2 hour interval.

Isn't that just sick?

I feel so fat really. FAT.
And now I'm eating chocolates. I ate gummy bears last night. And gummy worms two nights ago. Cassandra stole my cola gummies (kidding! xD)
I haven't been exercising either.

Gross.

I don't mind growing fat actually. Correction: I don't mind growing fat if I grow fat NICELY.
haha, xD I mean like my fats being evenly distributed throughout my body.
Not just pile up on my waist eee
and it piles up higher up on my waist, so it's not so much like a love handle (don't you hate this word?) it's more of a thickening waist.
I'm losing my waistline..

AHHH

hahaha, it's not that bad. But it's how my retarded body works anyway. Imagine if my waist thickens and the rest stays as thin as it is now (which is quite thin; not very good) I'd look like a ruler O_O
eeeeeee
RULER
HAHAHAHAHAHA

oh the image is funny xD I'd definitely look like a 12-year-old boy then.
ew
o_o

I'm gonna check if my bread is done.
ciao <3

-4408
I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star.

EXPOSUREEEE. FLASH FLASH.bahaha. right.

2007-09-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

WOOO. okay right, im addicted to dance inside by AAR again. =\. kinda got sick of it a while ago cos i played it over and over again. and then now, i'm hooked on it again. meh. hmm soo, im going back to work tomorrow after that one week break. not really looking forward tho. who would? boring old coles. psh. it's like scan scan. here's your receipt sir. sign here sir. would you like another plastic bag, sir? like sir sir sir sirrrrrrrrrr. lmao. what the heck,dood?. and then you get these grannies yapping away constantly about their son-in-law's. if its not that or this son-in-law, its something something in-law. just things to do with in-law's like they're never satisfied with them. and once, this granny shat me up so that she could continue talking to this other granny. im like do u wanna pay for your groceries? or i'll call the manager to kick your butt outta here. um nah, i didn't say that altho i really wanted to cos then i'd be getting my butt kicked by the manager and not that facked up old lady.soo enough of coles. uhm, today i went to the mall and there were a hell lotta people everywhere. usual sunday's. oh and i was walking in front of this girl whom i thought was a friend of mine but apparently wasn't after tapping on her shoulder, she went "don't touch me!". i was like okay. chill? im not gonna rape you. but anyway the whole situation was rather awkward cos i caught a few random's attention. that girl made me feel like i was that desperate to want to touch her shoulder. for whatever reason. =\ anyway. met up with jake and brian. and natalie came along too with raquel. bringing along raquel was just a bit unexpected? =s anyway she's getting weirder. i mean she was okay at first sight..like all happy and jolly. whooo and fun.. and then whoooaaaa later it just got a bit over the top.. uh then this random boy shows up and screams at everyone. prolly was drunk. but a bit what the fuck,kinda? and then we talked. drank. ate.laughed.yadayada. i got bored so i left earlier and bought ice cream. then went home. took a shower. yada. watched south park on the comedy channel and yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i saw this blaupunkt advert. it's kinda weird? like a bunny and a bear getting it on? and then it ends off with this slogan "the advantage in your car". like bahaha? aren't they supposed to be selling the car stereo? how's a bunny and a bear getting it on have anything to do with music/stereos? o_o. or prolly its trying to say how great the bass/sound/effects shit of the blaupunkt stereo is, till it can move a bunny and bear on top of each other? dude. i dont know. anyway, hope this is long enough.unlike elle. long post after long post.

[yannah]

when sanity TRULY returns

2007-09-16T11:56:00.000+08:00

Amazingly, I'm not banned from the internet.

HAHAHAHA WHOOOOP!

But my mum was really pissed off tho.
:(

I ran outta books again. And OH YEAH
This book called Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card is DAMN DAMN DISTURBING O_O

Seriously.

But I like it xD and hate it at the same time, but overall it is a good book x)

Psh never mind that, I'm bored.
And I still can't eat. It's only 12 noon. Sighhh how how how? 7 hours to go.
Should I go out?
I'm feeling really lazy tho.

Maybe I should bake cookies.
Okay, I shall.

Life is damn boring without food.

-4363
Just keep a hold on me. Don't let go if you float away, if you float away.

when sanity returns.

2007-09-15T16:10:00.000+08:00

Forget my previous post.
Really, omg I can't believe I wrote all those shit.
-.-

If I could, I'd like to delete it.
But ah, I don't believe in deleting posts, esp ones that shows me at my stupidest.
(unless of course the post contains issues that are, well, potentially offensive)

:)
You need to see my ridiculous side too, you know?
xD

STUPID.

Aaaanyway, I'm blogging now(duh). And I'm hungry. And Ryan got me hooked onto another song, the one on our blog's welcome page (:

My first impression of it was that it was quite noisy, and a little messy.
But after listening to it a few more times, the chorus got stuck in my head xD

I AM HUNGRY.

Well yea, I'm hungry. But not as hungry as I should be. I wonder if that's a good or bad thing.

How can I fast during the HOLIDAYS??!
I won't survive aahhh!
haha, holidays are when we pig out most, man.
lalala let's not bitch and moan now x) ah, I forgot what I wanted to blog about -_-"

shet... what did i wanna blog about??!!
>.<

thinkkk khalisahhh... uhh.. uhh.. oh my god, don't tell me I've wasted an entire post.

I think I have. Wasted one bloody post. hahahahha
anyway, erm yeah ryan, it kinda was like a finals. caz next semester we'd do different modules. And if I did fail this one, I would have to retake it next sem I think. If I'm not wrong.

Okay, I've wasted an entire post and I'm still hungry (SHUT UP, Ksah!!)
lmaaoo
Mum bought whipped cream and strawberries. I can't wait for tonight.
♥♥♥♥whipped cream + strawberries = loveeee♥♥♥♥♥

BYE PEOPLE.

-OH YEAAAHH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO BLOG ABOUT ALRDYYY HAHAHAHAHA

okay, ksah is retarded shuddup shuddup everyone ahahaha xD

I'm fasting nowww, you guys know that righttt??
(no wonder each of my posts are sooo long, look at that junk I blog about)

yep, and and I'm bored. When I'm bored during the hols, I EAT. But since I can't eat, I resort to extreme reading. By extreme reading, I mean I do nothing but read the entire day, killing hours and hours of my time.

I woke up at 11am today. Yuck haha so late. And from then onwards I bathed, cleaned up and read till 7-ish so I can break my fast and eat like there's no tomorrow.

I planned to coop myself in a library yesterday. So, I woke up at 11 plus and yeah, I'm just a damn slow person.
It was finally 2pm before I summoned the energy to leave the house after an hour changing haha.
And yeah last minute remembered I havent paid for the french IS module thingy so i travelled AAALLLL THE WAY to school. 150 bucks :(
How ex. no wait 160 dollars. $10 plus of GST.
Stupid GST.

THENNN I had noooo idea where to go :S
I didn't wanna go those kinda pathetic small libraries with limited books.
And by then it was pretty late, about 3-4pm.

I suddenly thought of Hidayah again, and thought I'd call her.
She was unavailable. But of course, I won't expect her to return my miss calls.
She never does anyway. I shall try tonight again. Perhaps she'd be free to pick up.

Then I called Cass, and it just so happens that she was at a library WHOOP!
(someone skipped school huhhh hahaha)

Met her at the ever pathetic, small, useless Queenstown library (URGH I need to slap the people who allowed such pathetic libraries to exist)
Bought sweets on the way. And- OH thank god- for such a pathetic library, I found the second book, Dark Prince wahaha stupid first book left me hanging.

And hung out with Cass laughed a whole lot.
AND SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

I'm sorry I have to interupt this again.
shiiittt

My parents just got home and and and the letterrrrrr is hereeee
oh no :(

They're gonna ban me from the internet again.
:(

My shit results.
Ah, my shit results.

ohhh hell, the shit mood's back.
I'll update you guys later, I need to deal with this :S

-4344
I'm dead. I am so dead.

yada yada

2007-09-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

shit you elle. i miss rah too :( and that homo's definitely doing well like always.woo that awesome person <3333 =]. wonder whats she doing now...i just hope she'd leave a msg. psh.

and i'm feeling itchy and hot.

woo.winter's almost over...like reaaaaaally reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally soon.

heh.

and yeah elle, dont worry. you'll sail through your finals. wait, the one u just sat for wasn't your finals right right?

I LOVE HONEYYYYY. yum. saweet. (:

sorry. pretty much random post. but blearghhhh. i'll promise to blog like no one reads this blog the next time. wooo, exposureee.

lalalalallala.

[RT]

AHHH the results. the resulttss!!

2007-09-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

EFF. EFF. EFFFFFFFFF YOUUUUU

cbdjsikbdsfv.abfjd

YUCKKK

eurghhh..
*dies*

I suck. I suck. gaahhhhh.
My results STINK. And my parents must NEVER EVER KNOW IT. YUCKK.
such disgusting results. EW EW EW EW EWWWWWW

But, the only AD (A with distinction- top 5% of cohort I think? is that what AD means? WHATEVER) I got was... CATS.

STUPID STUPID CATS.
and yet I got AD. Ah. I don't hate CATS so much afterall >.>
BUT STILL.
argh, why am I so lazy? WHYY???

I hate myself. No actually I don't. No wait, it is at times like these that I hate myself.

And my parents ARGHHHH

okok I'm going mad here as you can see.
My mum just yelled my name "KHALISAHHH!!" and scared the shit outta me.
Shit what is it, mum???

I'm scared.

And then I looked out, and asked my mum, "What?? What is it? Why'd you scream my name?"
And she was like,"No? I didn't. You heard somebody else."

O_O

OH
MY
GOD

WTF IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY???!!!

And my parents banned me from the internet too. Thank God I talked them outta it.
I so rock, man. xD

BUT!!!
They're gonna mail my results to my home. Like our house. Like like likeeee WHERE MY PARENTS CAN FIND OUT ABOUT MY ATROCIOUS RESULTS.

My parents never really knew the full extent of my failures. No. Never. I kept it from them and made sure I do exceptionally well for the finals. No wait, actually I usually scrape through it BUT HEY, I got promoted, yes?

Sighhh...
I got myself TWO Ds.
ONE stupid AD.
And a B+ and C+.

SHIT.
My GPA is so gonna suck. But eh, someone needs to teach me how to calculate it xD
OH WELL
ignorance is bliss.

At least I passed. Thank god. THANKK YOUU at least it wasn't that bad.
Well actually it is VERY bad considering the people in my school are like geeks.
Yes, School of Life Sciences are like that.
FREAKS.

WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO DO SO WELL?

And I thought I could shine.
But noooOOOo I had to put in EFFORT.

LMAO.

duh. ah, who are those stupid idiots who told me poly was a slack route eh?
WHO WERE THE STUPID IDIOTS WHO GAVE ME THE IMPRESSION THAT POLYTECHNICS ARE FOR STUPID PEOPLE?

No one. It's just the aura around everyone. The unmistakable desire to ONLY end up in top notch Junior Colleges. Or at least get into JCs.

FOOLS.
Thank god I didn't go to a JC.
At least I made one decision right.
But I'm starting to doubt my course.
Is it the right one for me? Science? like like ah. bvchfdjsfbhsjla

I love music. I love literature. I love books and reading. I love writing. I love poems and novels. I even love photography. And I love Geography too.

And I'm not even good at any of those.
But it all points towards humanities. So what am I doing taking sciences? I hate maths I knew that. Science was interesting, at first, then it went all deep and shits. Except for Biology. I always like Biology.

But regardless of what I like, I never excelled at anything.
Never.
Which reminds me of Cassandra's post.
But Cass is talented. She just doesn't realize it.
She is. I know. I see it.

But me?
If she can say that she feels so untalented and bla bla bla...
What does that make me?

A good for nothing. That's what.
Oh worse still, a LAZY good for nothing.

I'm scared.
I keep telling myself each new year, each new term, that I'd pay attention, work harder. But look what happens.
I ALWAYS just barely scraped through.

And it's not because I'm stupid either.
Part of me is happy being average without so much effort.
The other part of me..

...is afraid to be average. To end up being JUST average. Or to find out that everything was just a fluke and it wasn't caz I'm smart, that's why I just passed with minimal effort, it's because I'm just average and I can never be better. Ever.

Sarah Alexander, I hope you're doing well out there. Give it your best shot, girl.
I still remember your words, of course.
But I miss you.

I wish it wasn't in my nature to be lazy.
Really.

I need Cassandraaa. I need her caz she always remembers to study. And she reminds me too.
And I well, I never study.
But you see, that's where the complacency kicks in.
I know I'm not stupid. I'm not saying I'm smart either but I know I can do well if I want to. The problem is I never work hard. And without working hard, I still pass, I get satisfied.

Like oh I passed this hurdle.
Sigh stupid me. In this world, no one can be complacent. Everything's so competitive.
Plus, I'm supposed to be aiming for a scholarship. Because no way in hell am I allowing my parents to pay such a huge ass amount for my uni fees. That is if I even reach uni.

And it's just worse if I need to go abroad to study. How can I take so much money from my parents just like that? We're not that rich.
And look at my brother.
We're smart kids, we know. Smarter than the kids in the neighbourhood we grew up with. But we're cursed with complacency and laziness.

My brother ended up worse off than me. He could have done better. As a kid I was afraid of my brother outshining me one day.

That day doesnt seem to exist anymore.
I constantly outshine my brother. Why? He's arrogant, that's why. He refuses help. Satisfied with being average in class.

And he isnt even in a GOOD class. Not even a GOOD SCHOOL. Well,not as good as mine but still, the people around him. They're dragging him down.

And it sucks for him to grow up thinking he's the better of the sibling and yet, he's made no achievement greater than mine.

Do I sound like I'm bragging?
Do I?
Maybe I do. Caz I'm proud to make it this far. Proud that I didn't do my best, yet I made it this far. This well.

You see.

I am as stupid as my brother.

Because even if I say that we're so much better than the kids we grew up with in our neighbourhood...

The world is so big.

What if I'm not even considered smart?
Oh my god.
I'm not.

I know I'm not right now.
Pathetic Khalisah. Comparing yourself to those who were worse off than you. Shame on you.
I'm not smart. No. Not at all.

I'm as stupid as shit. Ah I must be the stupidest in the world.
Because only stupid people would publish a post like this.
I promise this well never happen again. I hope.
>.<
I really do.

-4318
I really dislike myself right now.
I always say I'd change.
Easier said than done.

Can we moveee on?

2007-09-12T18:54:00.000+08:00

Ah, I seriously wish everyone would stop teasing me about Telechubby aka McCreepy already.

xS

It's really overr, I mean he's stop bothering me. And all. And well, yeah, not very nice eh? xP
I feel really bad now >.> I probably was over-reacting.

Was I?

o_o?
But he was pissing me off.
I was VERY VERY irritated. But ah, I got over it. Everyone else should too :)
No point risking triggering a potentially embarrassing moment.

We should just get over it asap :)
Yeah.

I hold your hand under a star lit stand
Finger pointing connecting stars to write our names
Follow me as we race to the moon
And I’ll show you how you make me feel
Floating with a drift and ever so high but still in your reach
Pull me back down to send me even higher
I’ll be your kite under your absolute power
Crash and burn at your feet
I plead you pick me up and send my flying again

I am the butterfly collector
Safe keeping every single butterfly that you given me
My stomach, their sanctuary
And in a certain light, you'll see their colours in my words
In a spectrum of colours connecting both our worlds
Like a blast of light shot up into the sky
Explodes and a million rainbows showers us all

Baptised in our love
Drown me in
And be rebirth in perfect love
With my first sight of perfection
My life is complete

-Paperbag

And I'm in love with this blogskinnn!!!!
THE CLICKING THING SUCKS THO.
I'm so sorry everyone :(
You'd have to refresh and try clicking again.
sighhhh

And I thought it'd be the perfect blogskin...

I SO know Ryan's gonna change blogskin again >.>
LMAO
and ryan, dearie, each of your posts are sooo... short.
Reveal something, why don't you? :)

-4274
It's amazing how my previous post can work such wonders.

new layout.

2007-09-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

WOO. so after 9 days, i decided to change the blogskin. this one's pretty cool actually.. im in love with the lime green font colour. yum. and finally, ive managed to hide the nav bar with this layout unlike the retarded previous one.

and ginormous LOLS to elle's recent post.

[RT]

Stating the obvious for those who fail to get it.

2007-09-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

ksah:

Okay, I've been doing some thinking last night.
Couldn't sleep (since I had a damn good afternoon nap) so, in the dim side light, without my spectacles, I clumsily grabbed a notebook and a pen.

Squinting, this is what I wrote.
:)

These things came about thanks to something Joshua had said to me once before(so I'm sry but you're dragged into this too suckerrr!! xD I'm kidding really :P), this personality test I took with Ryan and also to Ariff's sms.

I would like to state something on my blog to clarify uhhh.. my personality :)

JUST BECAUSE..
..I don't sms you.
..I don't talk to you online (or even initiate a convo)
..I don't call you/ talk to you over the phone
..I don't ask you out

DOES NOT MEAN you are insignificant to me
AND this applies to EVERYBODY I know.

(just in case)

Firstly, let it be known that:
1) I have only 100 free smses per month
2) I have 140 mins (I think) of free outgoing calls
3) I have free (I think) incoming calls
4) I am online on most nights and I like to spend it talking to Ryan Taylor most. (And perhaps Jacob too but now I have his number. and Josh's too.It used to be the entire isketch gang but I'll elaborate later.)

1) 100 free smses per month

like HELLO?! If I don't reply your message, it simply means my smses maxed out! 100 A MONTH ONLY! I can barely survive with it.
SO, if I don't sms randomly or give in to small talks through smses PLEASEEE get used to it :)
hahahaha that's something Joshua likes to do when bored, but I'm sure he knows this by now. It's Jacob's new favourite pastime while he's on attachment in Punggol but he learned this soon enough. And oh, I have this friend, Ariff, and he helped me get through a rough patch once before with his smses.
I'm really really grateful but Ariff, if you are reading this, please do not think about any negative thing!
Right now, NOBODY should text me caz I WON'T REPLY!!
YES! MY SMS MAXED AGAIN! as usual...

So, basically I'm just saying that I don't mean to ignore you.
I can't help it.
So, if I don't reply ur sms and you still wanna contact me, CALL ME :)

2)My 140 mins of free outgoing calls and my free incomings.

In the first place, I'm not even the type of person who calls people.
I was never the person who simply has somebody to yak to over the phone for long hours.
This changed after I met Hidayah and perhaps Joshua counts.
I DO LOVE talking on the phone really. But I've never called a person for that purpose. Whenever Hidayah feels like talking to me she'd give me a miss call for me to call back, since she always kills her phone bill talking to her 6432654763 guys lmao.
And oh Joshua calls when he's bored LMAO as usual during guard duty. Poor soul. But he provides awesome mobile entertainment hahaha. But everytime someone calls, it would mean Ryan and anyone I'm talking to online would have to suffer (caz apparently I can't multitask) and well PSH! I've talked to him for agesss I'm sure he won't mind :D
RIGHT RYAN? xD
So please do realise, that I'm not the type to call you, but FEEL FREE TO CALL ME (do you hear me, Hidayah? especially you but you dont read my blog so nvm) I've tried calling Hidayah before.
Really. I tried calling out. But I was put off. Caz people were ALWAYS busy or something, and I'm just scared I'd be bothering them.
Since I KNOW I AM SO BLOODY FREE most times, please, call me, I really don't mind :D

AND plus! JC ppl are having promos. I SHOULDN'T call them AT ALL. Every free time they have should be spent STUDYING, you no-lifers. hahaha
yes yes, after promos, dearies.

And oh Cass rocks because she knows all these alrdy. xD RIGHT CASS??
Anyway, we're not the sms or phone people, we're better of face to face and going crazy :P Love ya, gorgeous.

3) Being online most nights yet I don't talk to you/ initiate a convo with you.

I neglect alot of people on msn. Really. I'm sorry.
The problem is, I am very dependent on the internet to talk to Ryan. Jacob too but we both have each other's number already so psh! And I have eeevveerryyoness number EXCEPT Ryan (and Sarah but ah, I miss you girly) SO, I like to talk to him most.

lmao.
There's something about Ryan. Maybe it's caz we're both Leos (like the way Cass is Sagittarius- we're both fire signs!) that we really really click. It's like on msn, we talk and it just flowsss and flowsss. lmaoooo.
Although occasionaly we would have to get sick of msn once in awhile but other than that haha Ryan's a great msn chatmate :D

And also, I kinda enjoy Poem Camp with Jacob although it kills my brains but it's really cool. Since somebody kicked me outta English Camp, ahem ahem, stupid PMS-ing git >.>
Oh, and amazingly, Joshua is a fantastic lameass crap partner on msn.
Lmao stupid lame Master Yoda but ah, I realised that if I were to do poem camp AND have some deep intense convo with Ryan (HAHAHHA like real, lmao sometimes :P) it eats alot of my braincells.
And I tend to neglect the other people I'm talking to online like Josh and Ariff.
People like Cass and Ahtong are the best, they know this alrdy, not good on msn haha but back to the point. I feel bad neglecting peopleeee.
Gah.
And also I seldom initiate a convo on msn as well as calling up someone over the phone.
Idk why. It's probably because the people I enjoy talking to always starts it first :) Yayness xD
So please, no offence, to you too Ariff but I haven't seen you online in ages plus I dont know if you read this blog so oh well.

and also, this post is deffo gonna tickle many people into teasing me.

Apparently, there's at least two stupid cuckoos who thinks I like Joshua.
Sighhhh
Let me make myself clear.
NOTHINGGG is going onnn. I'll whine about how I need a crush later but I'm sry, as much as Josh loves me *gags* we can only be friends xD

You guys are just jealous. I mean psh.
My fake boyfriend needs some love too you know?
hahahahahhaha

and oh by the way, DO NOT QUOTE FROM ME YER FATTEH.
LMAAOO
ah gross. hahaha

god. you stupid people xD
Remind me!
-to arrange something with Josh to get the book frm him
(I NEED THE BOOK hahaha)
-go to the bloody library and find the second books
(I REALLY REALLY NEED IT -.- I hate being left hanging)
-call Hidayah regardless of her having promos. We need to settle this, yo.
-talk to Ariff asap when he's online.
-hand in the instructor's payment form for debate (shite it's late)
-read up on our poly courses for crescent's exhibition on 19 sept
-read the friggin papers for debate
-PASS COUSIN'S PRESENTS!!! plus teach lazy cousin and little cousin.
-kick Jacob as soon as I get to meet up with him.
-APPLY FOR FRENCHHH basic 102 :D :D

ah.. i can't think of anymore.
oh well. shet. loadsa things to do. And I'm still lazying arounddd.

-4187
Nobody's perfect.
I am nobody.
I am perfect(:

sigh..

2007-09-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

uhh, ive sorta brushed off the fact that ive got the shittiest life ever...cos i cant really be bothered anymore...until i'll have to face it when its being shoved right in front of my face...and apparently, it has nothing to do with what happened in the previous post.. =\ so there's actually more to it...

yesterday night was deffo the most boring one in a long time...there was practically nothing on tv...snacks were sorta out... and parents + sister looked and talked like lifeless shitheads... bleargh....oh anddd ive taken a week off from coles thinking that it'll be great to finally have a long break but eh, everyone has been busy with god knows what sooo ive ended up staying at home most of the time...

as for today, i met up with brian for a bit after dinner....his dad's moving up to canberra...another boring shit place... its like dead town... esp in the suburbs and the shops are really retarded.....anddd, i might be tagging along with bri and his dad...=\ how fun...aand on the way back home, the radio was playing this frou frou song titled hear me out.. pretty funky but slow...but weird at the same time? :S meh.

oh here's another poem i wrote a while back...i've recently read it again and found out how much i could relate it to the people around me and how ungrateful they are about themselves when they really are normal and close to perfection.. =\ so maybe they should stop whining...

Words and Skin.

Much like a hopeless disguise,
Whats within prevails,
And just as the sun sets over the hills,
Everything we have will die tonight.
Bullets were fired from the stars in our eyes,
As we point out all the demons,
And shoot them down.
We kill ourselves just for fun.

Whats inside and what we see,
We blame ourselves for everything,
Words and skin,
Lets rip ourselves and stitch each other up,
Lets fade until we reach the sun.

Just as we laugh and tire,
What we think disengages,
And just as our minds begin to the black,
Everything we have will die tonight.
Amusement seeps from our childish error,
As we point out our demons,
And pick each other up.
Still we kill ourselves just for fun.

Every thing, as your stomach is sinking,
Every image that your head is fearing,
Everything you think you hate,
And every word your head isn't believing...

...I love.

and yuuuup that its.

Ryan Tay.

a little rant once in awhile

2007-09-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

ksah:

ah.

i seldom rant on here anymore.
poor ryan, cheer up hun.

i've been holding loadsa things in. it's more of like I get pissed off then i forget about it? so by the time I'd have time to blog, i don't really wanna think about the icky things and blog about other stuff.

sighhh

i dont like ranting on here. it just goes to show that i'm unhappy with lotsa things in my life. but i'm not. i'm pretty much contented.

or maybe i just wanna be contented.
and live this facade.

I'm tired today.
And I'm gonna complain. like now. something i havent done on this blog for quite awhile.

I'm really really really tired of being Plan B.
really.

Hidayah stood me up again.
I know I said this before, that it doesn't really bother me.
But it's not nice you know? To tell your friend to hold on, she'll call back, dont sleep, when I was alrdy sleeping and YET making me wait once more for nothing.

I dont mind. I would just sleep, and once you call back, I'd be awake once more.
But, it's a little mean, dont you think?

She's totally taking advantage of me.
I know she considers me her best friend and everything. She misses me. But it's not nice to treat a friend this way okay?

I dont know what to tell her, seriously.

She knows this. It's as clear as day, but she still does it.
And that's probably why she considers me a good friend.
I'm tolerating these kinda things.

I'm really tired of being the person she calls when she's finally single again.
When a new boy pops up, I'm invisible. oh hurrah.

It's just... not very nice to treat a friend this way. And it's starting to irk me.

Gah. Forget it.
She'll just make me call her again, and I'm supposed to be there. For her. Forever.

I'm tired.
But I'll still be there.

Sighhh

Today was an oookay day. I went to Geylang, bought my Hari Raya clothes in record time.
Usually I take agessss like weeks to finally get a nice set but I found a pretty nice one in two hours, seriously I rock. hahaha
and i have fantastic tastes. whoot.

After a month of fasting, perhaps I'll post up Hari Raya pics for you guys, especially the aussies haha.
Then you can see my pretty baju kurung
:D

And while shopping, I was standing, looking at the clothes on display. When someone said "excuse me" behind me.
I didnt know she was talking to me, so it didnt register. I remained there looking lalala

Then she said really impatiently and in a voice that was perhaps a touch rude "HELLOOO???"

And startled, I turned around and smiled and said,"Oh my gosh sorry sorry haha."

She just looked at me and walked past.
With that look on her face. You know. That bitchy look.

And I continued smiling, to her and the rest around me, but in my head, I mentally rolled my eyes and thought, Bitch.

LIKE OHHH MYYY GODDDD
I've never thought that way before.
Immediately chided myself. I was soooo surprised.
Usually these kinda things dont bother me, I'd just go, ooookayy... in my head and forget about it.

omgogmogmogmgomg I'm turning into a bitch o_o

oh no.
oh no oh no ohhhh noooOOOoooo

:(

I prided myself on being a nice person! Like inside too!
I mean, I may not be very nice outside sometimes too.
Most times I just speak my mind, and I expect people to be mature enough to know it meant no offence but but but-

:O
OH NO.

hahahaha I guess I was not really in a good mood?
lmao
I hope this never happens again.

I still don't like that woman tho.
Psh, as if she's so great and all.
I know I'm sooo much better ;)

HAHAHAHA
That's the bitch in me talking :D

Of waking suns

Of waking suns, and setting moons
Of darker skies, and bright lit stars
I sleep on dreams and hopes
And wake to the sweet reality of you
Oh sweet lady, by melting hearts you speak
Oh sweet lady, I’ll kiss you under the star we meet
And we will feel nothing of cold
That is when we will feel immortal
‘Cos my heart is beating
And yet it’s bleeding your love

-Paperbag

-4171
nice poem too, ryhead(:
perhaps I'd compose one of my own
..one day

quotes and poems.

2007-09-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

ksah:

Hey Peco...
do you believe in heroes?

...heroes?

The ones who help you whenever you're in trouble.

They only exist...

...?

...in comic books.

Maybe so.

Winter Song

Have you heard the song that Winter brings?
The death of Summer, the birth of Spring.
While Autumn waits for release
And leaves for the colour to turn pale.
We are sad, we are glorious.
We are fragile, we are lonely.
Oh Winter, play your anthem.
So we may march towards the next day,
And the next day will march towards its neighbour.
We will march to the beat until our feet gives out, our minds give in.
Take the anthem that gave you your stride to the ground.
And sing it loud, and sing it proud.
So others will know that it is Winter’s song
And pick up their feet to walk with big strides.
Strides that will carry your pride.
Winter keeps us moving.

-Paperbag

:)
nice huh?

here's an excerpt of my conversation with Jacob Boob.
(The last post ever about you, yer greedy pig xD)

Jacob: i actually wanted to do photo taking in punggol while i was messaging you
Me: and you didnt because...?
Jacob: and then i wanted to ask you to come along
Jacob: but i'm not ready for you yet
Jacob: so
Jacob: i went back

lmao.
for some reason.
this cracks me up xD

and jacob's stupid random tags too.
lmao.

But then again,
I don't know if I'm ready to meet him either >.>

LOL

I'm scared.
>.>
<.<
for no reason.
hahahahhaa

oh well.
:D
we'll see.
It's kinda scary. Considering I've never even heard his voice.
The most we do is sms each other, but that's almost the same as chatting online psh.

haha, I've lost my mood to blog.
Maybe it'll come back soon xD
And oh, I've gotten my Ambassadors shirt.
whooo now they just owe me my awesome golden magnetic name tag :P
cool.

I won't be able to get a job during the hols :(
Debate intensive trainings for inter-polys PLUS ambassadors redcamp and open house.

sighhh.

I'm fated to be broke forever.

lmao.
Here's one last quote from Jacob in his sms before I sign off.
:D

Oh. I'm at your block and i've got nothing to do till 3. Can i nap in your house?

-Jacob

My answer to that : ...NO.

-4149
caz we know we can be so much better than them.
Right, ryan? xD

quarrels. family. hatred. blah

2007-09-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. so you're upstairs and you hear the doorbell ring...a whole bunch of relatives just barge in and you don't even know what the fuck's going on? and a huge scene is made... my aunt screams for my mum.... my uncle screams for me...and another uncle screams.... the baby cries...riiiight. then you wonder what the heck?...a huge fatass argument takes place...for at least two hours or even more... all i knew was that the whole house was booming loud with people shouting at one another cos of my granny... blearghhhh...like it isnt already noisy with the next door renovation works going on since the past month... god knows what the fuck they're renovating.. prolly a six star hotel or whatever shizz.. its so fucking lame to see your parents and relatives scream and shout over something so petty.....maybe they should grow up...and this aunt isnt willing to pay monthly allowance for my gran..that uncle isnt bla bla bla... the other's screaming why shouldn't you just pay bla bla.. and such and such... its soooo borrrrringgg....and i was frikkin hungryyy and they went on and on...like who cares? you're hungry... so be it...we need to settle this like its a matter of life or death. whoa. big dealllll. like fuck. stop it. i'll give them all the money in the world if its that important and vital in their lives so that they will shut up.

seriously.

Ryan.

lmaao. and yet another post :P

2007-09-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHHAA

omg ryan's right.
I'm sry I'm blogging like mad. It's the hols, and i have moood, so I'm taking this chance to blog and blog and blog before my mood is lost again xD

ANYWAY, ryan blogs too little in fact.
AND changes blogskins too often. this is our what? third? fourth new skin this week?
hahaha

okay this post shall be a short one. oh Jacob, scroll down. your post is below :)

remember I told you in the posts previously abt how I was at Macdonalds and I had to leave for debate?

Guess what? I travelled around Singapore that day. hahaha
After debate ended early, I called Hidayah, and we had dinnerrr xD
We window shopped and talked and talked wheee. and then went to the library (I WAS THE ONEEE who got her hooked on reading xD she hated english and thanks to meee, tada!) to find romance novels xD while I looked for the book Yoda recommended me.

It was funnn ^^ and apparently I couldnt wait till tmr to meet her up hahaha so it was a spontaneous thing.
Called her and said "Hey you free? Wanna go out now?"
LOL

so cool :P
THEN by some miracle Cass wanted to go out tooo!(haha sick of studying) wheeee but since I was ALRDY planning to meet Hidayah, (and Hid had to go at about 7 plus pm) I decided to meet her after. (plus I told my mum debate ended at 9, which was true, I just lied by omission :P she doesn't have to know that i ended early)

Didnt feel like cycling againnn :/ haha since I'm wearing the tudung plus it was at nightt.

Met Hidayah at Boon Lay, ate Banquet (oh dear this post isn't gonna be so short afterall) AND WE HAD GIRLY TALKS wahaha it's nice to be back.

Seriously, her boyfriend is SUCH a baby.
And while talking, I've learned from Hid that you hook up with a guy first, THEN you get to know him.

Sorry, been there done that and it's stupid.
See? now she can't stand the fact that her bf is soo baby-ish.

I finally understood those Malay guys online.
I can't stand them caz they were freakin shallow (in my opinion) and they were flirting (no wonder) and whatnot and it's just... stupid.

I'm sorry, I'd want to like a guy for him and his personality and whatever BEFORE hooking up with him.

Hidayah seemed amazed that I didn't know this before.

I guess this is where different social groups and races have different styles of going about this.
I find it really stupid, so I'm not ashamed of my ignorance :)
LMAO.

ANYWAY, Hid left and Cass met up with me at Boon Lay Mrt pftwahahaha
SO RETARDED we had noooo idea what to do and where to go.

AND we were bored so aimlessly we randomly boarded a train (god we are seriously sooo random) and cass decided to call josh for some ideas.
xD
and then she put her phone to my ear.

HAHA. AND SO,
I pretended to be Cass on the phone to Josh. MWAHAHAHHA
And I thought I was SUCHHH a good impersonator, BUT we realised that Josh our beloved was just a gundu who can't tell the difference...

I told Josh (since i was supposed to be Cass) to call Khalisah and figure out where to go, caz he suggested joining us since we're so bloody bored.

AND he called my phone and Cass pretended to be meee mwahahaha sucha crack up.

And Josh sounded dead anyway, no wonder.
haha probably ran too much that cuckoo.

Anyway, we told him how deaf he is to not recognise the difference in our voices (what if we sound the same? O_O HAHA) and told him to meet us at Bukit Batok Mrt (that's where he lives. Bukit freakin Batok xD)

he lives sooo near and told us he could be there in FIFTEEN minutes when he FINALLY came after HALF A FREAKING HOUR (mind you, I had to leave at nine)
lmao, while waiting Cass and I talked. and talked. and talked ^^
and we were as usual, retarded x)

that stupid slowpokeee
hahaha but all was forgiven when he treated both of us :D

CHOCOLATE ICE BLEND FROM COFFEBEAN AGAIN :D:D
wait, it was coffee bean right? or Starbucks?
HAHA MY HORRIBLEEE MEMORYYY
-.-

whatever ok?
haha cass that free loader hahhaa got herself a tiramisu cake thingy which LOOKED tasty but tasted sooo damn normal. meh.
I ate some :P and her belgium choc ice blend thing tasted weird :/
HAH.

and josh got himself the ultimate ice blend thingy which looked tastier TSK
and looked more chocolatey TSK TSK

it was funny :P when stupid Cass made me look to my right for no reason and cracked up. And I fell for it TWICE.
lmaaaooo
I threw my low class plastic fork at her xD it's not fair. Josh got her a metal fork and I got a disposable plastic one.

FAVORITISM.
stupid.
xD

but oh well ^^

ok, lets see where I've traveled in the entire day,

Punggol (home) to Outram (dental) to Orchard (town- Macs) to Clementi (sch - debate) to Boon Lay (Hidayah and later Cass) to Bukit Batok (Josh) and back to Punggol (home)

My ez-link died man. hahahaha
no moreee monehh :/

that is crazayy.
And oh I dont feel like blogging about Malaysia anymore.
So you guys can forget it.
AND my new fast song that made me highhhh thanks to ryan ^^ I've found one addictive enough.
It's First Time by Lifehouse <33

and here's the slow song that made me high ^^ (thx josh!)
Now Comes The Night by Rob Thomas

oh GOSH you HAVE to listen to this song in absolute SILENCE :)
turn off the fan, on the air-con, stop breathing and get everyone to shut up :D
and listen.
^^

The Jacob Post

2007-09-06T17:30:00.000+08:00

The Jacob Bob Post.

whooo.
I'm dedicating this ~~stupid~~ post to my poophead, jacob.
hahahahaha

oh well.
hmm.. let's see. I've blogged about everyone else. Quite alot too. And yet Jacob is as mysterious as his face.
And who's fault is that if I seldom blog about you? eh? eh?

Psh.
When I first met this guy, online I mean, he was the total asshole.
lmao. really.
Even Sarah said so. She says he's only an asshole in group convos.
And erm, I didn't believe her hahaha
Me and Jacob used to be at each other's throats aaalll the time.

The Ozzies couldn't stand us together lmao.
Of course, his comebacks are always better than mine. But hey, I put up a good fight xD

We rarely do that anymore. lol, don't ask me why, I don't know either.
Probably got used to his irritatingness. -.- hahaha

Till NOW, I still have no idea what he looks like :/
So far, I've seen one pic of his face but it was probably a really old pic by now, plus it's all red-ish and dark and he has this emo fringe xD LMAO.

I can neverrr win a debate with Cobby-

oh WAIT, I hope you guys know this by now.

Jacob = Bob = Earl = Bobby = Cobby = Cob = Cob-bob = Kebab ;D

Aaaaanyway, Cob always have good comebacks, occasionally I'd win and he'd lapse into silence and go "..." then change the subject so I'd never realise I've won in time to gloat.

HAHA.

stupid idiot.

In a way, he's hilarious. I still smile stupidly in the train whenever I start stoning and thinking about our group conversations.
Like the golden cyclop balls (HAHA wtf?) and Tourette's. People must think me psychotic seeing me smile spastic-ly to myself xP Congratulations to him for coming up with the most retarded insults, crazy analogies and just other funny random stuff xD

Stupid but still sensible analogies like goldfish captivators- bahaha xD
You can trust only Bobby to come up with this kinda stuff.

I seldom blog about Jacob caz well, he gives me no reason to blog abt him :P
He comes up with funny shit, too many in fact, to the point I can't be bothered to blog abt it.

Meh, I never blog about these kinda stuff anyway xP

BUTTT
IF jacob decides to stop being ridiculously mysterious...

JACOB BOB, you boob.
:D hurry make up your miiind.

haha apparently, his attachment is in Punggol.
where I live :) awww he loves me that much. isn't that sweet?
HAHAHA kidding ;P

It'd be pretty easy to meet him up.
And it's ridiculous that I met up with Josh having talked to each other for awhile only compared to sotong Jacob, whom I've had in my contact list and chatted with at night for ALMOST a YEAR.

lmao, remember when I said I had a dream? That all of us isketch people would meet up?
Ryan's gonna be in M'sia in a year. SOOO CLOSEEEE O_O
Sarah the poop's gone. Meh, her lost. I still want my scones :/
lmao. I still love you, girly.

So it is VERY possible to meet up with Ryan and Jacob.
GOD this is so stupid.
I've been talking to them for AGES and I ended up meeting Josh first.

Guys, tell me how stupid you all sound right now. Really.

-_-"

Sheesh.

I love the fact that Jacob can come up with songs on his guitar. I still don't know if he writes his own lyrics or come up with deep poems, but he strikes me as the type of person who would do that >.>
If he could, and did..
My hate for him would be complete.

LMAO.

It's nottt fairrr. Have you heard the stuff he made up on his guitar??
HAVE YOU?
lmao scroll down and find the previous post where I put his songs up.

hmph
I'm jealous.

...

lmao, it's funny.
heheh.

OKAY here's your jacob post :)
I think it's long enough xD And ryan shuddup :P I know what you're going to say.
My posts are NOT long. They're spacey, okay??

:)

-4048
pooplove

I have the mood the blog. YAY FINALLY.

2007-09-04T11:52:00.000+08:00

When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No you will not be forgotten
No you will not be alone

And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No you will not be alone then
And you will not be afraid
No you will not be afraid

When the fog has finally lifted
From my cold and tired brow
No I will not leave you crying
And I will not let you down
No I will not let you down
I will not let you down

Now comes the night
Feel it fading away
And the soul underneath
Is it all that remains
So just slide over here
Leave your fear in the fray
Let us hold to each other
Until the end of our days

When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No you will not be forgotten
No you will not be alone
No you will not be alone

-Rob Thomas
Now Comest The Night

Isn't it the sweetest? lmao. I like it.
I'm sry Jacob, I'll blog abt you later xD really. hahaha.
The song is REALLY REALLY slow, but it's the nice kinda slow.

Havent had these kinda songs in ages. The slow sweet kind that makes me high and happy inside.
The last not-slow song that made me high was.. probably Dark Blue by Jacks Mannequin or some songs by Acceptance.
The last slow song (not counting this one) that made me ridiculously high inside was something-i-forgot-the-title by Josh Groban, dammit I need to get the song from Tong.

Oh and when I was in the car, on the way back from M'sia and there was a jam at second-link :/ there was this music on the radio and I totally fell in love with it.
It's not a song, just music, mainly piano and some other stuff bah I loved it.
It was on the international channel, 93.60 fm? i think. yeah it was also on 92.4fm and it's reeeaallly good.

Gosh you have no idea, outside was dark, and the scenery was nice, like water and lights and and the piano was awesomeeee and my little cousin was plastered against my side sleeping against me.
I thought it was nicest moment ever.

lol, i know i'm so random.
bah, I'm in town now. Sitting at Mcdonalds. :/ ALONE. :(
hahaha loserrrr.
xD

went to the dentist just now. I'm just wasting time in town, get lunch, and blog until 1 pm, then I'll leave for debate. Bah, the intensive trainings are such a choreee >.>
lmao

oh Hidayah called.
I miss her.
Although she stood me up loads of times :/
She said she'll call back but she never did. Even when I called her, she'd say she has to hang up and she'll call me back later. But she never did. I kinda waited. It wasn't really a chore to wait, I'd just go about with my own business and sleep whenever I want to. If the phone rings while I'm asleep I'd just wake up and answer it.

But she never called back.
Meh.
So, I stopped calling back altogether. JC people busy with A levels and promos, I know. That's why I tell people to call me whenever you're free. Caz I'm probably free all the time. And if I'm not, I'll just call you back later.

It's nice talking to Hidayah again :) We bitch and have girly talks all the time hahaha. And she'd tell me about her boyfriend. And try to pair me up with some other guy. lmao.

Ever since she hooked up with this current bf she's been with him ALL the time :/she said so herself. Doesn't call or go out with her other friends.
I totally understand lol. Crazy bf xD haha kidding.
I wish I could go up to him and say " HEY, I'm going out with Hidayah WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT"

hahaha I'd do that when I have the chance. And Hidayah should let him hang out with his friends seriously. Even if they are bad company, I'm sure he's old enough to handle himself.

And if their influence really affects him, she should just dump him.
-_-
And that crazy girl is planning to. Make him dump her I mean. LMAO.

Seriously, she and her dramas never cease to entertain me.

AHHHH OMGOMGOMGOMG
there's a cockroach O_O
BESIDE ME. ON THE WALL EW.
OMG

WHYYYY IS THERE A COCKROACH IN MACDONALDS???

lmao. ok it disappeared. And I freaked on the com haha. Outwardly, everbody just sees this calm tudung girl typing furiously on her laptop xD

I'm retarded that way x)

okay, I have accomplished nothing today. -_-
I need to go, or I'll be late for debate.

Self note:
1) Jacob Bob post xD
2) Sign up for French
3) M'sia post

... I think that's it right?
Yeah well anyway, my braces are funky :)
Blue and crazy neon green lmao.
whoooo x)

-3983

........=\

2007-09-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

Every word and every sentence you ever told me,
Felt so real like a mirror reflecting its image,
Every picture and every lyric you transfixed into my mind,
I still remember with utmost blatant honesty,

My deepest expressions were never revealed,
Even until the day you left me,
And being afraid to defy you from the start,
Led to nothing but sheer bliss for you,

Day past day,I'm feebly alive emotionally,
Trying to battle these inner lingering thoughts,
Doleful tears are being shed from time to time,
Indisputably,verisimilitude has been visualised.

by Ryan Taylor~

codes.fuckin codes.

2007-09-02T20:55:00.000+08:00

okay so i've tried to use a gazillion different codes to hide the frikkin nav bar but it wont frikkin work. i dont know what the fuck's up with this craaaaap piece of shiiiit..bleargh..it just won't hideeee.. and yes ive changed the layout again. bahaha.. cos the blending and black + white images captivated me...lol............... so uh yeah...anyway thats it for now..

ry.

Gift shopping

2007-09-02T00:02:00.000+08:00

went gift shopping with josh yesterday.
whooo chocolates <3
urgh so freakin ex -.-

I thought of blowing my money on chocolates ONLY. but then I called my cousin, and I got the impression that she'd like something that lasts.
lmao.
that means foods' out.
So I bought almond chocs for her from royce.
of course it's cheaper than the rest duhhh.
perhaps I'll get her something else too. oh boy, more thinking to do haha.
I couldnt even decide what chocolate to get for her.
no wait.
i can't decide. period.

that's it.
I'm gonna get a job.
:S

lol oh, btw, I saw Milu in town.
Was walking along when someone whacked my shoulder hahaha
I didn't even notice her..

Had late lunch with josh and meh.
my appetite is getting worse :(
One day, I'm gonna stop eating altogether..
LMAO, kidding. I shall strive to eat more. Or else, eat less per sitting but more often.

This week isnt the best of weeks. Pretty bad week in fact haha.
It's like bad days after bad days.
ANd I seriously wish these damn red bumps would go awaaaay. I feel so spotty.
so diseased.

eeee

going out with josh was fun xD oh, I've borrowed books from the library. :D :D
how exciting. I can actually start reading again!!
The last time I read a book was... more than a year ago? (not counting the harry potter bk i read last week in three days >.>)

no wonder my english is dying. really.

and josh introduced a new author to me. i hope it's good. ^^
i wanted the other one he told me abt, tsk.
went on and on about it and where was the book?
nooooo not in the library psh.
hahaha, nvm i'll find it some other day.
sounds interesting xD

Saw a whole mass of women doing some kick boxing thingy in town.
I vow to myself never to be one of them. ever.
haha, gosh. so embarrassing.
josh was very amused. very.
and he started picking on their stance and whatnot lmao.
he should go lead those women bahahaha

and omg i lied to my mum I had debate to you know, go out. That's what I always do anyway :/ AND my mum called my cousin. like O_O
and my cousin was like,"You told your mum you were in sch?! And you're in town. HAHA." I freaked for a moment.
Gave me a heart attack.
and amused joshua again.
tsk.

And I feel so much better. I think I've slapped him enough haha.
Plus, Josh has the tendency to suddenly appear right behind me :/
I bet it was on purpose but PSH. stupidhead. haha

I realized Josh bullies me alot. hmph.
at least he deserved every slap.
:)

I wasn't very high yesterday tho.
Like I said, not a very good week. i hope josh didnt notice me stoning alot.
or did you?? hahaha well I stoned alot >.>

I like it when I'm high :D I wanna get my high back.
Seriously, the last time I was SUPER high was after fireworksss<333
you have no idea how much I yakked to cassandra xD
non stop seriously, you should ask her. :P
I cracked up every 5 seconds lmao.

but yesterday was fun ^^ and definitely funny.

ah, josh has been appearing too much in this blog.
-.-

let's talk about jacob :D
the sotong.
hahaha kidding xD
I love his guitar.
And he's so totally gonna miss me when I leave for johore hahaha.
even if it's gonna be for one night only.
I'm sure he'll express his love again.

lmao. poop love.
jacob, i hope you're reading this. caz no one else would get it.
poop love.
LMAO, gross.

but still, I poop you too. xD

eeeww.

and please, someone get cobby to stop cursing me. :/
It always comes true.
o_o like omg.
lmao.
okok I'm lazy to blog. And I have to go. My brain's all over the place.
Remind me to reserve the next post for Jacob Bob. lmao.
An entire post for you, cobby.
You should feel so honoured. xD

-3904

tell me what to do.

2007-09-01T01:31:00.001+08:00

erm kinda a confusing moment for me here. i dont know what i want. sometimes, i wish a certain someone was still around to tell me what to do...cos that person has definitely pulled me up during my most shitty moments...and whenever this person comes to mind again, i get all snkjcdvbhjfbvhfd...its really annoying...like whyyyyyyy?...man, she was the best...secondly, i wish i knew what to say to lauren....erm.......i dont know? i just dont know how to express myself that well when it comes to things like these? i dont know, i dont know? and well yeah...its just shit..and wow this blog is finally becoming of some use?

until i can leave you behind....

ryan.

Teacher's Day

2007-08-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

ah.

crisis passed. -.-
and i'm so tired. sleepy actually.
the allergy medicine causes drowsiness.
meh.

went back to crez for teacher's day. oh the irony.
the people i expected to show up, didnt. and the people no one really expected to show up, did.
aka me.
hahaha, i didn't exactly love the teachers there you know >.>
neither was i popular among the teachers.
there was always something to complain about me.
mainly my studies hahaha and shit grades too xP

but heh, as much as i couldn't stand the school, the people there were awesome, and perhaps including a few exceptional teachers too.

many things have changed but overall it was pretty nostalgic.

I didn't expect people to recognize me, especially since I'm wearing the tudung.
lol, didnt really see much teachers. i didnt come back for the teachers, LOL.

well it is teacher's day...
but yeah, it was more for the memories.
Mr Samat's last day in crez. woa. how sad.
he's been there since forever.

ahtong was late.
she was in toa payoh.
like wth..?
from potong pasir to toa payoh...
lmao, funny girl.

CAS was LATE too xD
apparently she overslept. Had chicken pie from Mobil for breakfast while waiting haha.

man.. I'm so sleepy ~.~ And yet I have to go off to one of those religious thingies tonight again.

nvm, back to the point.
went off to eat at Tanglin Mall's food court. Well, ahtong and cas ate lmao. my chicken pie killed my appetite.

then we went to STARBUCKS HEH.
:D
i blew my money on a grande caramel frappuccino (idk how to spell that) YUMMEH.

and while those two were mugging, i borrowed Cass's National Geographic and started reading.
haha we were there for a real long time. And I read like three quarters of it before my mum called and I had to leave.

and I may not be online for the next few days.

I may be off to Johore, M'sia. Visit my grandparents.
it's been ages since I've visited them.
okay i'm gonna get a quick nap now before I'm dragged outta the house.
;)
-3860

True friends

2007-08-31T01:21:00.001+08:00

It is those moments when you doubt your true friends, that you realize you'd have no friends at all.

If that's the case,
I hope to never doubt my real friends.

in reply to your text

2007-08-31T00:52:00.000+08:00

the reply.

I'm sorry.
And I can't tell you how sorry I am, but I'm sorry.
I know I've breached your trust and I perfectly understand your feelings towards me but at least hear me out.
It was an honest mistake.
I let slip. I forgot. I completely forgot I never meant for it to happen.
It's just so easy to talk to Ry caz I'm used to it.
As you say, he's probably my best online mate and yes, we've been talking for ages that's why it's so easy to forget.
But Ry and you are two different people.
The love I have for you and Ry are completely different okay?
I consider you my best friend,and I know you already have your best friends before I came along, but I still consider you my best friend okay?

Sometimes the voice at the back of mind nags, and I wonder if I'm as important to you as you are to me.
But as strange as this may sound, I totally love and accept you for who you are, regardless of what you think of me.
Once again I'm really really sorry, honestly from the bottom of my heart, it was a total slip of mind. It was an honest mistake.

What people say that make you feel that you may not know me as well as they do.
It happened to me too.
There are times of doubt. But please, please take into consideration the years of friendship.
We've been through it all. We've hated >.>
We've argued. We've bitched. And majority of the times I've lost.
I urge you to put faith in the person you've spent time with.
If there's anything doubting you please you can just like, ask me straight up.

There are times I wondered.

We may not do well on msn.

And well some people are your msn mates. And some people are your best mates.

I'm sorry.

I shouldnt feel angry.

But I am.
a little.

Where's your faith?

And perhaps you give yourself too much credit.
There's no such thing as a perfect friend.

But if you need a real one,
there's one right here.

She's saying she's sorry.

<3 3845

RIGHT.

2007-08-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

anyway elle makes a shit blog owner cos she hardly ever does anything to pretty up this blog.. all she ever does is sit here and wait for me to change the layout... lalalalalala...

and i dont really remember what happened today besides work and work and workkk and boring shitass work.

i still miss rah. i still miss eating those huge fatass custard puffs. but the dude's gone now. =( nooo. and i still miss my brown fluffy dog toy. someone threw it away. o_O.. or maybe i did? pssht but i was packing up and shite and then i realised that a tonne of toys were gone...wtf right? there deffo are ghosts at home.. =\

Ry Taylor.

The Creepy Stalker Boy.

2007-08-28T16:24:00.000+08:00

post deleted (:

yo

2007-08-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

it's ok :)

oh,McCreepy boy stories coming right up in my next post!
hahaha i cant be bothered to blog.

and lol at ryan's weird tofu thing.

.ksah
-3697

hmph.

2007-08-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

okay this is so gay. but sarah keeps on popping into my head. =( i miss her.......

my apologies :)

2007-08-27T20:06:00.003+08:00

SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY x 384755869879475984798479 khalisah taaaan! :)

She's the blogger hogger owner betch!

2007-08-26T18:08:00.000+08:00

um excuse me khalisah tan? what was that all about? pssht, at least cass went "hahahahaha ryan"... so im funny. lmao. not perverted. insane freak. and then now you're going on about some weird horror story and jacob doesnt even know wtf's going on....man, you're retarded. wtf am i doing here? :p.

Todayyyy...

lalala not much. went to chinatown.. andd had chinese after a realllllllly long time.. but was pretty good... well since i havent had good food in ages cos of my awesome mum everything tasted fucckinggngngnng yummyyyy mmm... oh and this chinese asianey oldie guy at the stall asked me to try some weird thing.. and i was like wtf no? what if you're gonna kill me with rat poison in that bowl of whiteness,old man? and he was like its okay child... just have a spoonful of it...like as tho, i was some kiddo being brainwashed to do something awfully bad in return for a whole bowl of whiteness... o_O lmao. uhh okay so this bowl of whiteness is liiiikeee. uhh some soya milk thing with bits of tofu...and its pretty sweet actually...like not cool sweet but sweet sweet...bleargh...but meh, it was okay... he said that its called *&*&^^%&%&^T&&*^673757* urrrrh yeah pretty much that was what got into my head cos i didnt know what the fuck he was going on about half the time....lmao but he was so nice to me....and gave me another bowl of whiteness to supposedly share with my mates... =\...psssht, actually to think of it again he prolly wasnt being nice.. maybe no one bought his bowls of whiteness so maybe thats why he shoved me spoonful after spoonful of tofu into my mouth...but anyway...it was kinda breezy and cold and such...and i think im about to fall ill soon cos of the little swim in the freezing pool of water....yeah swimming in winter... o_O...i hate winters....it sucks to deepest shits of hell...

~ ryan.

Let's welcome the Blog Hogger :D

2007-08-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

Okay, that's Ryan. The ever famous aussie dude I've been talking about sometimes in my earlier posts :D

lmao he's gonna pollute this blog with his pervertedness, if he hasnt already.
(look below xD)

aaanyway,
about Sunday.

I went to Marina South Pier.
Awesome place :)

Not many people there, caz it's not very popular. But it's pretty. And I love the weather- it was drizzling then and VERY very windy ^^

Cousin's bday. and shet, I havent bought her anything yet till now :( I'm so sry. I owe her one I guess.
She comes over every Sunday (I might not be free tmr) so when I get the pics from her, I'll finally upload the tudung girl pics you've all been waiting for.
:)

Sorry to keep you waiting.

I'm deffo going back there sometime again.

ANYWAY,
I have these weird red spots on me. I dont know what they are.
Could be chickenpox, but I had it before... I can't be THAT jinxed.
Although I know I am very jinxed myself..

OR

It could be an allergy.
From... I dont know what.

AND, I sprained my neck. So now I look like a spastic child. My head is tilted to the left and I cant move it at all caz it'll hurt the shit outta me :(

IT FREAKING HURTS :(

really, i can't move at all :(
it hurts really really really bad, and it almost left me crying once, when I accidentally turned my head.

OH THE PAIN.

oh well, I'll be seeing a doc on Monday.
Have a jinx-free day.

-3632

My friday night eh.

2007-08-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

uhh okay soo..yesterday was kinda a rush... the whole thing...it was about 4pm when i left coles.. after running around like a total loser there... i didnt know where the famous amos cookies were placed after working there for almost a month now..yeah, im awesome like that :).. but anyway i managed to find it with the help of tanya...thennn ran to the other side of the store..by then, i was reaaaaaaaaaaally outta breath.. coles is sooooooooooooooo amazingly huge... and the stuff's everywhere...its so unorganised unlike this blog. soooo organised. riiiiight.lmao, anyway went to get condoms cos apparently jude always gives me gazillion excuses that he never has condoms with him when he does it with his gf o_O... i mean like c'mon... u forget the first time.. yeah i understand... the second time u forget too..then the third as well..u cant possibly forget that many times right? lmao, that guy soooo wants to get lana pregnant.. poor girl..aanyway yeah,so im sick of listening to him whineee like a baby...so, i got him condoms along with the bag of cookies...BUT it was only after i arrived at his place...that i realised that the box of condoms which were supposed to be, werent. it was a box of lubes.. pfffffffft..but hey they were pretty cool ones bahaha...one tasted like pina coladas, the other menthol, then aloe vera, then menthol.. but menthol was the best cos it tasted like colgate...i tried the others but they tasted like raw glue.........errrr yeah....ANYWAYYY..i was pissed then i realised that it was a pool party.. and lmao, i turned up wearing decent clothes...everyone tried to push me into the pool. and i ended up getting really wet cos of close body contact... o_O...then jude's mum cooked heaps of food but hardly anyone ate it.. maybe her cooking's almost compatible to my mum's bahahaha...poor thing...but the cake was darn good...oh and there was a slut at the party as well.. she flirted with everyone... and she prolly had it going on with this guy in the pool too....and there were frog eggs in the pool which were mistakenly seen as floating sanitary pads bahahaha then brian was like what if those eggs went into every girl's vagina who swam in that pool and made frog-human babies.. i was like dude. you must be drunk.. then he started laughing his ass off and then jumped into the pool and got himself all wet...btw, he swam in jeans and this long sleeve shirt the whole time. weirdo. anddd bla bla bla jude opened his presents and shite....oh and some ass took my flip flops so i ended up waiting for that person to come back to jude's house to return it back... and by the time i got home it was 3-ish in the morning..oh but on the way home i thought i saw a woman running around in circles with a lolly in her hand....seriously.................

ryan taylor.

omgomgomgomg.

2007-08-23T18:48:00.000+08:00

:) okay so im ryan. uhh hi. :) anddd im gonna be sharing this blog with khalisah tan from now on. why? um, because i just feel like it and i wanna start blogging but i cbf to start up my own account and elle's an awesome person sooo here i am. haha, uh thats it for now. gonna mend up some html poop here. woot. okay laturs.

My Weekends (Part 1)

2007-08-21T19:07:00.000+08:00

oh oh i MUST tell you guys about McCreepy, he's driving me CRAZZYYY.

BUT, before I do, let me blog proper.
I havent' been blogging in sooooo long. Not properly anyway :P

Saturday

FIREWORKS
:D:D:D:D

I adore them so.

For the first time everrr, I met up with Master Yoda, aka Joshua Wong the eejit.
He's tall.
:(

No fair. hahaha.
Anyway, he was LATE.
No wait, actually I was late. haha and I thought, oh well, he can wait for me.
But he just HAD to be later than meee -_-

Anyway, it was easy enough to spot him, that freak haha.
And he was carrying this huge ass bass in its black casing over his back.

We were supposed to have lunch.
Went to Coffeebean instead.
eh?
wait, was it Starbucks or Coffeebean?
O_O
dammit, my memory.
It should be Coffeebean, yeah. Yeah it is.

lmao and he treated me to a drink. I love not having to spend money :D
And i love chocolate. Don't you just love chocolate? Thank the lord for chocolate ice blend :)
It was pretty fun hahaha I mean, especially for the first time meeting him. It went really well xD
Oh, and he is by far, the lamest person I have ever met.
Like really.

hahahahha

Sat down and talked about god knew what, I don't even remember, the exams killed my braincells. Oh but we did discuss James Bond bahahaha don't ask, just don't ask xD

AND, I was supposed to study with CASSANDRA NG LIN.
But she just loves abandoning me.
So I brought my laptop to study after meeting up with Josh to get the tics.

It was kinda sad to study all by myself.
Thanks alot Cassandra xD hahaha kidding kidding.

Josh had to leave for some rehearsal thingy and invited me along.
I agreed :D
AND I GOT TO SEE HIS BASS LIKE OMFG I HATE HIM SO- no wait, let's blog properly.

Yeah anyway, it was at a CHURCH.
like oh dear.
and I was wearing a TUDUNG.
o_o

lmao. Anyway, on the way there (shit my structure bahaha my mind's all over the place) Joshua was a total cuckoo xD
He started randomly singing.
Oh my ears.
My poor poor ears hahahaha
Twas a total crack up.

I would have laughed my ass off if my nose wasn't blocked. I was soooo sick that day, sicker the day before, but just for the fireworks, I don't careee! :)

SO ANYWAY, he talked me into taking off my tudung and lead me to this creepy looking toilet in the church and omfg I swear, it's the typical ghost story toilet o_o
I can just imagine some horror story and the pontianak would just like-
O_O
let's not think about it.

Switched on the lights and felt so much better, it was less creepy that way.
Closed the door and halfway through JOSH THE TOTAL ASS TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS.
omgomgomg
you DO NOT want to be in THAT TOILET in total darkness xS

apparently it cracked him up. oh so amusing. ha ha.
lmao.

and he did it TWICE.
stupidhead -_-"

When I was done, I went out. I expected Josh to be waiting outside, since he was playing with the switch and all and he wasn't there so I switched the lights off and walked on and I didn't see him at all so I thought he was like, outside or something (we were in some room thingy, bah i don't know)

And then (everything was pretty dark, lights weren't on and the place was dim) I heard footsteps behind me like outta nowhere and I freaked.
And as you would have guessed by now, yes it was that idiot.

See? Poor me. Meeting up with him and this is what I get. Tsk tsk tsk.
My heart died for a moment lmao.
Scared the shit outta me :/

TURD.
Entered the lift and he was still amused by it all.
Started like stomping his feet and jumping. Just to scare me.
I meant hello?? What if the lift broke down or something??!!

Boys...
they never think.
LOL.

And so I started studying in the church while he started jamming and omgomg i am officially jealous.
I kept staring at the pianist and the drummer and the singer and like NOT FAIR. I want to be able to do something too!!
I hate Josh and his bass.

He should give it to me seriously.
Turd. OH this reminds me of Jacob's guitar too.
It's so nice and black :(
I want it.
Jacob named it Lynn o_o
I'll name my future guitar Jamie.
HAHAHA dont ask (:

We were supposed to meet Cass at Cityhall MRT station I think. And we were late thanks to Joshua >.>
He's always late.
haha waited for him to be done with his rehearsal.

I managed to get some studying done but seriously, I didnt know 75% percent of what I've just read. Dammit.

On the way there, the journey was just as frightful and hilarious, as it'd always be with Josh.
I didn't know what in the world was he thinking but he started flexing his muscles?
like..
with that bodybuilder pose and the constipated face and all...
??

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

CRAZY, YOU KNOW?!

omg that total nutcase.
Damn it I wanted to to just die laughing.
And oh my abs hurt so bad.
It was from all the sneezing the day before.
My abdomen muscles hurt so everytime I sneeze, or cough, or laugh, it'd ache badly.
So yea laughing was a torture, and I couldnt even BREATHE, ~~fuck~~ my nose.

urgh.

And yea, it was soooo stupid bahahaha and embarrassing and if people around us were watching, I'd wanna tell them I didnt know this guy man.
xD

lmao, our conversations were retarded, but since when were they not?
I mean, it's totally understandable since I'm talking to a retard >.>

In the train,
(goodness, this is sucha long post)
you know the big black bass casing over his back?
It's a danger to anyone around him, man.
He walked into the train, turned around, causing several people to duck and dodge, else face the wrath of a hard bass casing slamming into their face, and Josh acted as if the world was fine, the bird's are singing and there's a rainbow in the sky.

For a moment, when it swung, it almost hit a bespectacled guy and I was like OH!
Thank goodness the dude dodged it.
o_o
Whacko.

I leaned against the door, since it was crowded and there were no space, and also relieved no blood would be shed. Then the stupid door opened again, and I almost fell out.

STUPID MRT DOOR.

hahaha see? fortunately i have fast reflexes >.> save myself the embarrassment hahaha

This prompted another one of those nonsensical story from the crazy dude with the killer bass casing.

Mental.

Met up with CASS :D :D First thing she did was yelled at us abt being late :S
SORRY LA :(
BLAME YODA.
yes yes, it's his fault anyway.
And her mom was thereee hahaha.

And yeah, by now everyone knew I'm not very familiar with town and any area around it :(
sorry la...
I was a sheltered kid okay?!
I only went to town when I was in Crescent and I bluffed my mum loadsa times, (till today actually)
My mum thinks me this goodie goodie tudung girl.
Oh how mistaken she is.
And also I am VERY VERY VERY VERY indecisve.

Get over it.

hahaha I can't decide so just decide for me! What's so difficult about that?
Tsk
haha
And don't ask me which restaurants is halal or not.
My family loves staying at home.
My dad's the lazy sort, hates traveling, hates going out.
My mum... forget it man.
haha

Welcome to my life.
But oh, I know how to work around the system.
:)
I'm such a genius that way.
HAHAHA shuddup Khalisah, you did not say that.

We zoomed through the crowd, it was so frigging crowded, looking for some halal place to eat caz well, as you all should know by now I am a Muslim.

Couldnt find one, ended up buying takeaway food since Josh couldn't find seats for us, it was just too damn sickeningly crowded. I hate crowds haha.
And it was so hot. lol

Bought Roti John and oh, the first bite was nice, but that was before I realised it had nothing in it at all.
Nothing.
Where's the beef?
Where's the onions?
Where's the usual stuff there is inside?
Is there any of those?
NOOOOOOOOOO... there's NOTHING but bread and egg.
I ate French toast.
What the hell.
More like French fried bread and egg. Not toast.

Dammit, I should have just let Josh paid for it.
lmao KIDDING
He offered. But I feel easily guilty. It's just me. So yea, wasted my four bucks.
lmaooo

While queuing tho, I was talking to Josh. When suddenly Cass poked me from behind.
And I was like O_O
I was so shocked caz I thought Josh poked my waist and I was about to slap him before I turned around and saw Cass spastic grinning face hahaha
omg so scary hahaha

xD

I should have just slapped him anyway pftwahaha :D
Then me, Cass and her mom went off to watch fireeeworkssss <3333
THANK YOU JOSHUA, no matter how fat an ass you are, the tickets were aweeesomee.

OMG you have no idea.
You have no freaking idea.
I almost had an orgasm there and then.
>.>
No I'm kidding. HAHAHA jeez but omgomgomg when it started (it started late btw, I think they were buying time) when it finaaally started, it was so beautiful and I swear it's so gorgeous.

I loved every single moment of it. It's just a feast for the eyes. AND AND IT'S SO DAMN BEAUTUFUL
omgomgomgomgomgomgomg

My heart was up, way up here. When I saw it, my heart just swelled and swelled and I thought it might burst but it never did and oh i love it all so x)

When we went home it was sooo crowded and Cass and I were so high all the way home haha :)
crapped like nobody's business haha.
anyway, that's for saturday :)

Sunday is a whole new story. Wait for the next post :D
i love fireworks to bits <33

-3538

cdjskabvfhjkbvas

2007-08-17T20:14:00.000+08:00

eeeee.

look at my blog.
so boring.
i cant stand it lmao.

oookiessss sry for slow update, will update more often soon.
Two more papers and I'm doneee! holiday~!
wheeeee.

I ABSOLUTELY DETEST THE MATHS PAPER TODAY.
I'm so afraid I'd fail and hafta retake this module :S
Why?
1)My parents will kill me.
2) My friends will moooove on and abandon me and i'm all alooone :(
3) I DONT WANNA SEE THAT ANT WOMAN AGAIN!!
4) simple. I freakin hate maths.

cndsihavfhbdjv
I'm kinda at my all time low since... since a very very long time.
So many awful things are happening to me.
Sighhhh

I guess it's inevitable. I will have to blog about this. No matter how much I dont want to. I just have to.

SARAH'S GONE.

:'(

and and... and I MISS HER.
so much.

Sarah Alexander is the nicest funniest most awesome and gorgeous online mate I ever ever everrrr had.
And you might think, that hey, online mates, shouldn't have such a big effect on you and whatsoever.

But honestly? Us isketch peeps. We bonded. Bonded like elephant brand super glue, man. I knew Sarah longest. Together with Jacob. Caz I knew them back when they were just Blah and Sarah. And there were several other cuckoos on isketch like CM, eTwee, Shade, Haz etc etc. I totally forgot the rest of their names, it's been so long, but I totally remember crapping with them.

Later, I added Rah on msn, and somehow (I don't quite remember) I got Jacob's too.
And by this time, I met Ryan Taylor and Michael Z. And soon, the usual isketch group of people got lives of their own and don't come on anymore, unless I'm lucky I see them once in awhile when I actually bother to get on.

For almost a year, we'd spend hours chatting at night, not every night tho but MOST nights. I swear we've talked so much and we're just so super nonsensical especially group convos :)

Somehow, I sound kinda like a loser >.> talking to people across the ocean I dont even know and yet we're awesome friends.
I've grown with them soooo much. I've grown oh how they've watched me grown from this stupid idiotic irritating twat to a normal human teenage girl with sufficient common sense to survive this cruel world xD

I might have turned out differently without them. Really.
Thank you guys. I appreciate all the long(no matter how random, horny and perverted they get, but deffo insanely hilarious) chats at night.

Mikey kinda died on all of us ages ago. -.-
He kinda got busy with his life, no one blames him :) but yea, we rarely see him online. And yea, we seldom talk and I'm not as close to him as we all used to be, but it's okay ^^

But four of us, it was totally awesome.
I admit, before any of this happened. I haven't been talking to Rah as much as we used to in the beginning. Ryan's closer to her and Rah knew Jacob longest so yea.

But then again, I wasnt really a fantastic person to hang around with in the beginning *weak smile*
I swear it's in the genes. Took awhile for me to grow up. I don't even wanna look back now. xI
LOL

But, thanks to these aweeesomeee people, I'm really grateful for their tolerance.
And also for their friendship :) I'll cherish it forever! WHOOP!

And I digress, back to Sarah. I totally love her haha she's so hilarious and she's a beautiful person inside and outtt and that makes her soooo wonderful. ^^
She has the most amazing and bright personality everr.

After she told me she was leaving, that she had approx. 19 days with us, I seldom talked on msn. It's so easy to die on each other.
I didn't intend on it and I'm so sorry for it now.
Even in group convos, I dont participate as actively, I feel. And I'm always on the phone talking to someone else.

I guess... I think,.. I wanna withdraw from it all?
I don't know, I've just realized all this.
I don't know if I can do anything different even if I'm given a chance to go back.
I want to. But well..

But still,it wasn't that bad :) I still love rah sooo :) tytytytytytythaaankkyyouuu :D
I'll cherish our friendship forever yo!

And yea, I've gone on and on about this -_- and yet there are STILL other things that's just...bad too.
But I'll miss Rah forever and ever and I hope she's doing fine :) I wish her the best in anything and everything.

Okay I'll blog about the rest some other time, remind me to tell you guys about weirdo stalker boyyy xD
and yea, guess what?

JOSH THE SUPERMAN GOT TICKETSSSSS
WHEEEEE

:D:D:D
fireworksss.

At least, there's an up somewhere in my life.
A whole buncha colouful gorgeous lights at the end of the dark tunnel.

<3
i love my friends

-3448

frikken moods and my reply to tags

2007-08-12T16:48:00.000+08:00

Replies!

To Marie:

AIYEEE I MISS MY BREAKFAST SET! hahaha goshies, we havent met up in agessss! :(:( marieee :( i totally wanted to go out with you that dayyy (which was ages ago too) BUT you know how anal my parents are :S stay happy, gorgeous!

To Babygila aka Abi hahaha:

THANK YOU GURL!! but your name still cracks me up hahahahaha xD

To Cass:

HEEHEE thanks! love you truckloads, crazay. We are just so DAMN RANDOM :D ALL THE MORE WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN! hahaha where in the bleeding hell is ah tong? tsk... that girl huh..

To Teri:

thanks a bunch, girl! TEERRRIII, when are we EVER gonna have a clique outing? i miss our class so! and you and your nonsensicalness too! tsk... and i'm sucha loser, havent watched all of the latest movies, seriously lmao. keep in touch!

To Violet:

Thanks a bunch!!!<3

To Huda:

Thanks, but he's not muslim tho. :S Nvm thanks anyway (:

To Ruqayyah:

Yeah sure!thanks. i totally will :) now, if only you'd stop stalking me xD

My blog is dying.

Oh well.
:/
Seriously, I have a gazillion million things to talk about but I dont have the mood to blog! and I'm supposed to upload photos! Of me! BAH! I'm soooo lazy haha Seriously don't feel like uploading anything lalala.

:D

Oh well, you poor cuckoos out there waiting for spastic retarded photos of meee. :S
:S

Anyway, recently I went out with Cass. It was by far our most super randomest outting EVER.
LMAO.
Just took random buses and and YOU KNOW WHAT?

I don't feel like blogging :S
I know! You can read Cass's blog. I'm sure she blogged abt it.
BUT oh i have photos GAH nvm.

omgggg

A few months ago, I was blogging like mad. A post each day. Sometimes I wanna blog, but have nothing to blog about...

But now.

I just.. don't feel like it.

Weird.

Nvm... wanna know why I call Abigail, Babygila?
LMAO
read this.
I was talking to Josh on msn waaaay waaay back. Damn long ago actually but never fails to crack me up. We were in a Maths lecture I think. and yea Abi was being a kepo and I needed the toilet badly so... Abi talked to Josh in my place lmao.

Check this out.

HAHAHAHAAHAHA
funnyyyyy xD
oh well :P Abi, you're super nonsensical xP

Lol, first Cass, now Abi begins to show signs of insanity.
Maybe she was insane all along...
HAHA I KID :D
Boy, do I love crazy people :D
Like me.
(:

More eComments

-3360

Jacob has been bugging me non-stop.

2007-08-09T21:45:00.000+08:00

FINE.

you cuckoo head.

HERE IS YOUR FREE PUBLICITY. HAPPY NOW?

haha i kid. yea yea.. posting this up on my blog isn't gonna help you much in terms of publicity, ya know?
lmao.

but anyway, guys, listen to some of these songs Jacob Bob(: played on his guitar.
Composed it himself, if that's the right word to use.

I hate him for that.

lol.

One day... just one fine day it'll be my turn :D

Personally, I like Jar of Hearts better :)

Jar of Hearts

Heartbeat: 7 on the Richter Scale

-3307

HEY

2007-08-05T01:26:00.000+08:00

RYAN TAYLOR!

HAAAPPPYY BIRTHDAAAAY FATTEHHHH!!!

love you LOADS AND LOADS AND TRUCKLOADS!

you're so OLD hahahahaha

TWENTY

OLD

seventeen

young

:D

sorry about the drawing :S

but HAVE AN AWESOME 20th bdae ANYWAY!

<3333

xxoo

- elleay

The Final Relief

2007-08-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

HEEEY

yessir

I'm back :)
And I feel fine, thanks everyone.
I'm such an attention seeker.
hahaha.

oh well, didn't intend on it. :/

aaanyway, i was all depressed and stuff but i got over it.
really.
seeing my gramps in the coffin.
pretty uhh heavy stuff :S

so yes. I've accepted it :)
and my heart doesn't feel heavy anymore.
and i stopped feeling like crying randomly.

seriously, it was screwing up my system.

I was exhausted for the past few days.
went straight to gramps' wake.
stayed there for hours and hours. probably like 10 hours.
on the second day of the wake i went there at about... 2 plus?
left at 11 pm or so :S

but yea, the time spent there was weird.
being the only tudung girl
everyone kept staring.

what made it worse was that the wake was in a church lmao.
and everyone there was chinese.
so yea.

when i was introduced to distant relatives and neighbours of my grandma,
i was bombarded
they started talking real loud and pointing at me like i was a freak show.
basically threw teochew and fingers at me.

lol i didn't mind, although it felt real weird.
everyone else was amused of course.
they all knew my dad was muslim and married one and raised a family of muslims lmao.
except for the other relatives :S

got hugged and kissed.
and i realised
that the chinese part of my family
are extremely rich and intelligent
everyone of the relative of relatives i swear.
cept for my dad, he didnt make it to uni...

but it's ok :P
i hope intelligence is in the ~~jeans~~ wtf i wrote jeans i meant GENES.
caz my relatives came all smart looking
and they spoke great english.
i'm so proud of them hahaha

anyway, i've got too much to blog about.
and i hate it when that happens
caz i'd end up being to lazy to blog abt everything

like right now.

i wanted to be all emo on this post, but too bad i got over it. else you guys would cry reading.

anyway, thank goodness i visited my gramps about 10 hrs before he passed away.
i didn't even intend on visiting him that day at first.

they told me he was already delirious.
semi conscious.
mainly talking rubbish :S

couldnt recognise his sons,
nor his wife
but when i went there,
he nodded at me.
then my grandma said loudly, caz u know in case he couldnt hear
she said in teochew something along the lines of your granddaughter's here to visit you, khalisah's here yada yada

and he said something back but i couldnt catch it.
then my grandma said in teo chew
"he said 'terima kah seee' . xie xie ni "

and i was OH, he said terima kasih
which means thank you in malay

and i was touched
because he acknowledged me.

he only speaks to me and my mum in malay.
so i know he knows it's me.
that's why i've been depressed for awhile.

i didnt know i was that significant.
to this old dude :)
i love him so. i just never knew it :/
i wasnt close to him at all.

sighhhh

and there was one funny incident.
when he just woke up for a moment,
and saw my uncle,
and went
EH? HOW COME I STILL HAVENT DIE YET ARH?

lmao
nice one, grandpa
-3212

p/s: i promise pics soon hahaha omg lmao.

May He Rest In Peace

2007-07-31T23:28:00.000+08:00

My grandfather finally passed away today.

That's all I can say.
I'll post a proper entry another time.

I don't have the mood or time to type much now.

I know I promised crazy photos of me.
But I feel that putting up happy photos when I'm feeling like this...
is simply inappropriate.

I need to blog.
I need to get alot of things off my chest.

But now's not the time.

May his soul finds peace.
-3151

my blog is DEAD HAHA. nah, I'm back

2007-07-24T13:27:00.000+08:00

okay okay SRY

I havent been blogging yea.
Caz well, I've been busy.

And to Cassandra's dear dear friend Master Yoda aka Joshua.
STOP READING MY BLOG LAAA.

:D

I know you're planning to stalk me.
Tsk tsk tsk.
You shouldn't act so desperate... girls won't want you that way:P
And Yoda sure ain't "tall dark and handsome"

HAHA.

ok see? an entry dedicated to ultra lameness(that's u)

Freaked me when he guessed where I lived.
How should I know he's capable of calculating bearings and angles??
Like a complete DORK pfftwahahaha.

Ok ok, you guys are lost.
The gundu saw the pic outside my window on friendster and guessed where I lived right down to the right floor.
Freaky eh?
And to think I threatened to stalk him.
Good Lord, what was I thinking?? hahaha

Oh by the way,
THANK YOU FOR THE FIREWORKS PICS.
I'm in love with it! It's just so awesomeeeee

DAMMIT I wanna go NDP :S
:(

Fireworks are BEAUTIFUL. Love them. They are the ultimate lurveeee.
Oh and so are peppermint candy canes and dark chocolate and gum and whatever else I loveeee.

I will upload photos soon.

Oh stay tuned to this blog yea.
Caz FUGLY RETARDED SPASTIC photos of me would be up too.
INCLUDING the special TUDUNG GIRL pictures. I know everyone's dying to know how I look like in tudungg!! (gags and dies haha actually probably no one frikkin cares hahaaaa)

Now's not the time to upload photos caz...
I'M IN FREAKIN MATHS TUTORIAL AGAINNNN!!
and I didn't bring my calculator AGAIN.

Omg this is like what? The third time? Third week in fact!!

I SUCK.

super duper uber LAZY.

but oh never miiind.
Something exciting might happen at the end of this week.
But I don't wanna blog about it.
I'm afraid to jinx it.

heh.

Hope the suspense kills you :)

OH BY THE WAY,
how can I facking forget to blog about MY BIRTHHHDAYYY?!

WHOOOP!

Today's my birthday!
I think 24/7 is such a fantastic number. LOVE IT.

And amazingly at 12 midnight, I was bombarded with messages wishing me happy birthday. And Sharon called me at 12 midnight too o_o haha
Oh and XINGTONG was first to sms :)

Thank you guys :)
I feel so loved <3!

And today I went to sch to find the entire classroom empty.
I freaked.
I was wondering SHIT where's everyone?? How come tutorial was canceled and I didn't knowww??

I called Ruq but the gundu was so slow, she was late haha, wasn't there yet.
Then I called "the pretty girl called Abigail" <- she wrote that.
Anyway, I called her and she started giving me this twilight zone sensation when she told me everyone's in class with her AND that they were in rm 06-02 when I MYSELF is sitting in an empty 06-02.

Ok, so my stupidity was only short lived, don't worry. I'm not that big a fool.
Then I shrieked " NO ABI you are NOT in 06-02 because I AM in 06-02! Don't blufff where are you guyssss?!"

I suspected it was a prank then.

LMAO then the whole class strolled in. hahaha what a buncha sotongs!

But they're soooo nice :) Sat down (after laughing at me) and started singing a very civilised version of "happy birthday".

hahahahhaha IT WAS HILARIOUS and EMBARRASSING.

everyone was sitting so quietly and nicely, staring at me, clapping their hands and singing happy birthday haha.

Oh dear, felt like drowning in shame then xD
hahaha but thaaaank you anyway, you guys are totally fantabulous.

Apparently it was the teacher's idea- after the class told her abt my birthday of course (THANKS ALOT DR HO!!! hahaha funneh)

But seriously, thank you :) I'm so touched *plays violin*
:D

And Pearlyn got me a birthday prezzieeee!
How sweeet! :) THANK YOU TO YOU TOOO.

I havent opened it yet haha, I'll go home and open it and tell you guys what it is later, k? :D

And I realized I've been saying thank you a gazillion times in this post :P
but still, not enough thank yous for these fabtastic peeps! xD

AND I MET KARMEN! and saw QIXIN too :) at SIM.
And Karmen darling bought me this SPASTIC looking but SUPER adorable thingy (wait wait, I'll post a pic of it later too)

THANK YOUUUU :D:D:D

Can't stop smiling today.
OH OH and Nurliana (old primary sch friend) and Syahidah(cousin) bought me presents tooo but it was on Sunday when they came over to my place since I'm tuitioning Liana.

Gosh. This is such a longass entry. :/
I'll post pics of what Liana and Syida bought for me too.

Whoooo the next entry would be so saturated with spastic pictures. ;P

Ok then. I shall stop blogging. :S
I owe 67175645638640870954 sets of homework.

And today I'll end sch at abt 9pm? Caz of debate.
Tsk.
WHYYYYY?!

lol.
So clever. ;)

-2997

I just never learn.

2007-07-17T14:22:00.000+08:00

Blogging.
Again.

DURING MATHS TUTORIAL.

AGAIN.

HAHAHAHA
crazy.

Slap me.

No, I kid.

:D

ANYWAY, just had a maths quiz. A guaranteed fail for me, thank you very much.
And not surprisingly,
I forgot to bring my calculator AGAIN.
So once again, I have no mood to do my Maths Online (MOL).
Ew, I hate myself.
I'm so disgustingly lazy.

I even skipped a lecture yesterday.
Sshh...
I'm sorry. But I just had to. There was no physiology tutorial, so I had to wait for 4 hours to the final lecture.
And it's an IPC lecture, at that.
HAH.
But even if I did attend the lecture, it'd be pretty pointless caz I won't understand a word of what Dr Tutukueh is saying.

I'm not waiting four hours- FOUR FREAKIN HOURS, mind you- for nothing.
:S
But I promise never to do that again.
I shouldn't adopt such bad attitude towards my studies.
I wanna do well. I do!

I'm just... sooooo lazy :S
EURGH.
Slap me.

Let me digress now.
Something happened on Sunday that irritated me.
But I shouldn't talk about it here. Very unsafe.
:D
But I'm over it anyway so yea, no biggie.

Plus, when I was on the way home from school, something strangely delightful happened.
I was adjusting my tudung while looking at the glass reflection at the train station.
And for your info, I was NOT behaving like a vainpot :/
My tudung was truly causing me great distress so I had to do something about it.
While doing so, I was oblivious to this malay dude who was staring at me.

For a moment, I found it really freaky. He and his group of friends were walking pass me when he randomly tilted his head forwards and kept staring at my face.
O_o

Psycho much?

I startled myself when we made eye contact.
Caz well, he was staring at me. Weirdo.
And then suddenly, his lips curved.
And he smiled at me.

O_O?????

woa.
A Malay dude smiling at me?
I'm pretty sure I haven't met him before and definitely don't know who in the world he is.

Have I finally proven worthy enough to be accepted into the Malay social circle?
I never really mastered looking good in a tudung for some reason, I just don't look good in it.

AND HE SMILED AT ME. wahahaha
I must have done something right.

This is a momentous occasion!
pfftwahahha!

This is the FIRST time in my ENTIRE LIFE, that a Malay guy noticed me!

I know I'm such a sad case but believe it or not, being a mix isn't so fantastic.
Malay guys never looked in my direction simply because I look more chinese.
And if I wear the tudung the other tudung girls are simply prettier than me and look better in them.

I'm not the popular sort so haha not many guys around me. In fact, I'm mostly surrounded by girls.
Chinese guys huh... if I wear the tudung I might as well be invisible to them, and if I don't wear it, they'd be shocked witless.
Hahaha,
I remember me showing my hair in the Ambassador's camp at night.
Everyone's reaction simply makes me wanna laugh haha.

Yes people, I do look more Chinese without the tudung.

Yay. -_-""

OH YES,
speaking of popularity, my parents went to this parent's seminar organized by NP.
And when they got home, they told me something very disturbing :/

They said,
"Woa, Khalisah, you so popular now huh? Everybody know you one."

HUHHH???!!!

O_O!

WHERE GOT?

Anyway, apparently, they were talking to this coupla ambassadors and my mum, being a typical AUNTY :D said "Oh, my daughter is Khalisah Tan."
-.-

And the two ambassadors said "OH, she's in ambassadors too right?!"

HOW DID THEY KNOOOWWW??

O_O

They were year twos and by my mum's weak attempt at describing, I could tell I didn't know them at all O_o
Since when ambassadors people knew me?
OMG and I don't even know them.
This is scary.
Did some scandal erupt that I wasn't aware of?

o.o

Highly doubt so...

whoo.
look.
I'm popular.
o_o"

-2882

Personality Thingy

2007-07-16T16:18:00.000+08:00

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding. You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

You enjoy taking part in anything that may constitute fun and excitement. You need to be stimulated and need to feel that 'Life is worth living' and you are awaiting that stimulation and you don't particularly care where it comes from!

The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren't quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

(but I always procrastinate... ALWAYS :D this is some random personality thingy thingy I took. I think it was on Rowena's blog)

This is what happens when I get bored.

2007-07-14T19:29:00.000+08:00

Hey, we all get bored.

And when I'm bored, I go crazy.

LOL

Well, yea it was during IPC - my most hated subject- plus I disliked the lab prac teacher so.
I was done with my experiments, and those who were done were allowed to leave.
I didn't want to.

No. It's not because of my intense love for chemistry.
Eee.

I didn't wanna leave caz everyone else wasn't done yet :/
Didn't wanna pang seh anyone.
So I didn't abandon my beloved classmates (ahem ahem- I just don't like going solo) and got bored waiting for those slow fatties to be done already.

To pass time, I amused myself. And I'm sure everyone else was amused too LMAOO
I took my disposable gloves- you know the one to protect your hands during practicals and what not- and took the red tape used for labeling test tubes, bottles and stuff, and I started uhh... decorating my glove.

I gave my glove fingernails!
whoopieee!

Take a load of this!

This one looks as if I'm picking my nose...

ANYWAY, it cracked everyone up, including me. See? That's how childish I can get :/
hahaha
I blew the glove up like a balloon lol. The hand with red nails is just too freaky :S
HEH
And oh, I took the pics when I got home caz I forgot to bring my camera to school.
(My cam had no battery either so it's pointless)
And my friends took pics on their camera phone (the camera on my phone kinda suck- low quality pics + can't be uploaded to the com)
They had a nice time laughing at meeeeee
Hmph.
And they threatened to post it up on friendster too hahaha

Like I care!

LMAO
but, if the pics are fugly, uhh...do me a favour and delete it (:
I'm vain that way heh.
I haven't suffered from ECD (Excessive Camwhoring Disorder) yet but still, my degree of vanity is relatively high :D

And oh I've realized I haven't been blogging as regularly as before but oh well, not my problem. It's yours.
HAHA.
I mean you're the one reading this, not me :P
KIDDING.

I love you lots <3

-2830

What's The Point?

2007-07-10T14:13:00.000+08:00

No point.
No point at all.

OMFG I can't stand myself seriously.

-_-" Kick me for being such a bum. A frikkin lazy ass.

I'm here blogging during Maths Tutorial. Not even a lecture where no one will care. But in a bloody tutorial where the teacher's going round. Now I can't be bothered to do my work caz I forgot to bring my stupid calculator. -_-
:/
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I told myself to complete all my homework by this week.
INCLUDING the overdue ones.

This is starting to look like a failure.

Rah made me go offline yesterday. :( She made me do my homework and not chat on msn :/ hahaha, she sounds like my mum xD
She even told Ryan to stop talking to me. Apparently he's distraction.

Well, yea... anyone who talks to me on msn is a distraction LOL.

Rah told me to finish up three of my microbiology write-ups by today.
Then made me log out.
I love Sarah Alexander.
^^
LMAAOOOOOO

Well, I can't believe she's so bothered about me and my overdue homeworks.
She's lucky she didn't know about my crescent days.
Not a single piece of work handed in for the whole year.
And the next year, and the next year, and the next year...

HEH, and good god, she should have seen my social studies essays.
I hate social studies.

TO THE CORE.

Honestly.

And look what I did in class.

No wonder the teacher's couldn't stand me.

HAHAHHAHAHA
I totally forgot about this pic that Cass took.
Seriously cracks me up. xD

Oh well. My handwriting isn't that fugly. Really. :D
It's just that I was sleepy and yea. heh.
And the smileys were drawn caz I was really reeeaallyyy bored.
An entire row of smileys of the teacher to see.
LMAO
I drive them all crazy.
:P

Okay, I'm gonna finish up my Microbiology. HAHA.
Sarah should be proud of me (:

-2752

A Gazillion And One Things

2007-07-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

Ooookay, there's lotsa things to catch up on. (:

Sometime back, I had dinner with Ambs Team ONE at Botak Jones :D
I couldn't even finish my food. :/
LOL.
Seriously, it was freaking big, especially the burger patty and the fries were just, sad, left alone on the plate. So rejected lmao. It was a great bonding session YAY! haha, got to talk to the seniors and yea, well HEH suddenly I dont feel like blogging about this -.-

I'm weirdddd xD

But it was a blast, the food was great ^^ and I had fun stuffing myself.

OH, and yea guess what?

I'm frikkin underweight.

UNDERWEIGHT.

Like what the hell? HOW CAN I BE UNDERWEIGHT?! I'm NEVER underweight. NEVER EVER.
tsk...
I'm ALWAYS in the acceptable weight range or just borderline underweight. This is so gay, I tell you. Damn bloody gay.
And because of this, I can't freaking donate blood. How sad :(

BY THE WAY, met up with Cass mwahaha!
And I got pics!! Old ones duh haha, Cass took loads of them, goodness.
Oh, the nostalgia...

hahaz... I'm gonna stuff myself like a pig from now on. And I'm gonna jog every Sunday morning since I'm only free on Sunday mornings :/

Okay let me enlighten you guys on how busy I am.

Monday - end at 6pm, home by 7:30 - 8:00 pm (as usual, no extra classes, my timetable just suck HAHA)
Tuesday - end at 9pm, home by 10:30 - 11:00 pm (debate at 6pm)
Wednesday - end at 8pm, home by 9:30 - 10:00 pm (French at 6pm)
Thursday - end at 9pm, home by 10:30 - 11:00 pm (debate at 6pm)
Friday - end at 12noon, Ambassador duty 1-4 pm should I be called up :)
Saturday - Mentoring, and Debate (timing may vary)
Sunday - help out with ppl's sch work :D

I owe Hidayah a date with moi!
lmao, I agreed to go out with her and we just cant seem to find the time :(
Tsk.
And Xing Tong too. Havent since her in god knows how many donkey years.

Surprisingly, I'm not stressed. HAHA. Just really really tired sometimes. I have fun :) I just don't like homework.
And damn but I owe an Everest of homework right now.
As usual.
Just like the good old days. LOL cept no one's chasing me for it. I'm just feeling guilty and beating myself up caz 60 PERCENT comes from our coursework.
DAMMIT.

What I REALLY have to do
-Mathematics OnLine (MOL)
I am at : Revision 1
Everyone else is at: Revision 7, I think. I have no idea.
-Microbiology Write-ups
I am at : Practical 4a
Everyone else is at: Practical 8
-Physiology Essay
I am at : Not done yet. Dateline's 27 July.
-Microbiology Project on Black Death
Incomplete
-Inorganic and Physical Chemistry (IPC) Project on Chemistry Kinetics
Incomplete
-Famous Mathematicians
I am at : FREAKING OVERDUE Dateline's 30 June.
-Physiology PBL Case Study on Fighting Fats
Incomplete

I THINK THERE'S SOMEMORE.
I just can't remember.

hahahahahha.
awwww man. duuuude.
This is worse than what I was in Crescent hahaha.
My weekends are gonna be just sad.
xO

Me being a lazy bum back in Crescent.(Middle of pic, having the oh-I'm-so-screwed face)
God knows what Xing Tong is trying to do (the blurred one)

-2687
It's not your fault so please stop your crying now (:

Mathematics Common Test

2007-07-03T14:28:00.000+08:00

I've just gotten back my math common test.
88/100

same as physiology.
88%
44/50

oh but my IPC was pathetic, as predicted.
36%

And my Microbiology was just sad.
52%
26/50

I could have gotten higher for physio and maths. The math teacher's wondering why I'm not very happy with my marks haha. I think the highest in class was 92?
Oh well, I got loadsa careless mistakes :/
I totally didnt study for Microbiology. I'm lucky I passed. BUT STILL ITS SUCHA A DAMNNN WASTE xD
And physio... I could have gotten full marks, I swear.

LMAO

See? Such high expectations haha.
BUT my stupid IPC. meh. DAMN CHEMISTRY lmaaoo
What the hell was I thinking? Taking Molecular Biotechnology... It screams Biology, Chemistry and perhaps MATHS.
freakin maths.
I don't suck at maths... but that doesnt mean I love it.
In fact,
I hate it too.

-2640

The Strangest Mood Ever

2007-07-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

o_o

I don't know why, but I feel really sad suddenly.
:S

Oh well.

Never mind.

And it seems like I have nothing to blog these days. Like seriously nothing. I dont even know what to type right now.

Weird.

Let's see...

I really like watching Who's Line Is It Anyway?
Haha it's hilarious. Love it :)

Hidayah is up to no good. I can tell. She has to get this matchmaking thing out of her mind immediately.
And umm... I havent met much guys in NP so no, sorry people, no juicy gossips for you.
Although, I must admit, there are one or two eye candies around campus (:

And although I've gotten the pics from the training and bonding camp thingy, I'm not gonna post it up :) Simply because there's too many of them and I can't be bothered.
And no, you can't see me in a tudung xD Hahahaha unless you're real lucky ;)
And I'm going to an ambassadors team one outing :) yay! We're eating at Botak Jones O_O And I have no idea wtf is that.

I'm also donating blood tomorrow. :D See? I'm so nice.
I'm quite scared actually... :S
And possibly, just possibly, I might be meeting up with Cass again ^^
YAY!
Quite convenient that she's staying in Commonwealth now eh? :D It's quite near to NP.

Sometimes, I wonder what I'm doing with my life.
Ooohhh
emo moment ;)
But I do. Nothing really satisfies me anymore.
And I'm sad.
Like wtf?
I don't even know why I'm sad now. I'm such a loser -_-"
I want my happy back. Where did all my happy feelings go?

Oh my NP friends are great. Really. And I can't say otherwise caz I think they know about my blog and might be reading this HAHA. But then again, they might not care and not be reading this but WHATEVER.
They're really great, honestly :)
I get along with...
Eh, Xing Tong syndrome is coming back hahahaha.
Now I'm not sure if I'm really... getting along with everyone...

But oh.
I shouldn't give a damn.
I'm like some psychotic insecure moron these days. >.< If you've been observing my blog like I just did, you'd realize I'm moody, then suddenly bitchy, and now moody again.
Like GOD, KHALISAH, can't you STAY NORMAL?

hahahahaha
:S
I have no life -_-
I'm turning into a complete geek.
Except for perhaps... the MicroBiology lab write-ups which till today I have not completed...
So it's piling up like a mountain.

OKAYYY NO ONE WANNA READ THIS SHIT SO LETS MOOOOOVE ON :)

I did not kick any snails today, but they're really freaking me out.
O_O
Seriously there's so effing many of them! LIKE EVERYWHERE!
ESPECIALLY in my estate. It's like GROSS, I tell you, like an alien invasion.
And snails already look like aliens.
See?
They're actually aliens, trust me. Aliens spying on us.
*Plays freaky alien song*

You just never know.

-2625

The Little Indo Kid :)

2007-07-01T18:21:00.000+08:00

I love her facial expressions x)

-2596

I kicked a snail.

2007-06-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

SORRYYYYYYYY!!!!

you poor poor snail pathetico thingy!
:S

So sad.

hahahahaha funny, sad, and nauseatingly sick actually. xD

I couldn't see. And it was dark. I felt my toe connect with something and sent it spinning and rolling across the floor. I thought it was a noisy rock. Until I looked. And saw a shell. I hope I didn't kick the slug out of the shell.

Like WHAM! Slug flew out and the shell went bouncing off to nothingness.

o_o

Even though I made it clear that I hate snails to death, I felt bad.
Sorry snaily.
I hope you're not traumatized.
Look on the bright side, it was fun.
Like a roller coaster ride.
(:

Ew.

-2573

The responsible me.

2007-06-28T19:45:00.000+08:00

This is highly unusual.

I was never hardworking, I admit that. I rarely had leadership posts nor maintained any should they be served to me on a silver platter. I had tonnes of spare time. I had tonnes and tonnes of spare time.

I kinda miss that.

lol.

Besides being an ambassador, recently I received an offer by Jac and Dav to be a member of the debate team's exco.
uhhh...
woa. I'm seriously surprised.
These people obviously don't know the real me. Or the me I was. If that made any sense.
ANYWAY, I accepted their offer,so now I'm probably the youngest person on campus who's an exco member alrdy. So is Ruqayyah. The freshies :D
They sort of took us in early to train us to be future whatevers. Either Secretary or Treasurer and whatnot, I have no idea.
And I'd get an additional 6 cca points :) every god knows when, I can't ever keep track of this system.

And this is just so drastically different from what I used to be.
This lazy ass girl, in the Art Club doing nothing. No leadership roles or anything.

Anyway, i'm so busy.

Too busy to blog.

I had three hours of sleep only.

laters.

I carry your heart with me
by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

-2550

drama prairie dog on youtube

2007-06-24T15:29:00.000+08:00

this is probably quite old but I still find it funny xD

hahahaha! seriously! damn drama eh?
and yea ignore the previous post. Just me being stupid again xD

I seriously need to catch on up research, projects, write-ups and read-ups.
I have done NOTHING during the holidays.
Congratulations me.

-2501

huh?

2007-06-24T01:06:00.000+08:00

everybody's changing
and I don't feel the same.

I think I must be paranoid.
Yes.
I must be.

I think I'm a different person.
Yes.
I probably am.

Do I miss how everything used to be?
Maybe.
I don't know anymore.

I'm scared.
And probably for no rational reason.
But I'm still scared.
Deep down, I guess.

What happened to everything I'm sure of?
What happened to everything I know?
Oh. My. God.
I am paranoid.
Yes.
I must be.

And you guys probably have no idea what I'm on about.
:S
I'm sorry.
I must be crazy.
Yes.
That must be it.

:S
Don't worry. I'm just as lost and confused as you are. I have no idea where my thoughts are heading either :/
Crescent was my comfort zone.
I can be irritating, annoying, idiotic, immature, retarded and not give a shit to what anyone thinks about me. I seriously didn't give a shit.
And now
I don't know anymore.

I DON'T EFFING KNOW WHO I AM.

I know I'm a little too late in saying this but yea, I'm seriously lost.
Is this part of growing up?
They certainly didn't include this in the manual.

To different people, I adopt different personalities.
I adopt different speaking styles.
I adopt different everything.
And now I'm wondering WHY.

whywhwhywhywhywhywhyWHYWHYWHY???

This is certainly not normal, and I'm sure anything that's abnormal, should be considered unhealthy.
Slap me. Slap some sense into me now. Caz I can't find mine.

I need a clique.
I know I sound pretty much like an absolute loser right now, but I seriously need a clique.
Everyone else probably has one.
And yet I flit around from group to group. Getting along well with everyone too, but that's not the point.
I want a group of people where I can be myself with.
Because I can't help putting on a front.
Mainly because, I'm new to that person and I don't want to offend anyone but-
OMFG I AM SO SELF CONSCIOUS.

How uncharacteristic of me.
And I find myself talking like an ambassador more often than not.
I even promoted Polytechnic education to a friend I'm tutoring.
I said everything I would have said to a visitor in NP.
I'm crazy.
Yes.
I must be.

My friends used to be my weight. My balance. They make me normal.
And now,
my new friends...
are doing the exact opposite.

I still talk to Hidayah on the phone at night. Not often, but sometimes. When she bothers about me. And isn't busy with anything else.
I need to find my balance.

And I'm gonna sound even MORE loser-ish.
I actually feel normal when I talk to the isketch peeps O_O
Probably because they're still there. Almost every night.
I'm lost.
I'm scared.
I'm lonely but surrounded.
I'm crazy.
Yes.
I must be.

How poetic.

-2493

upbeat!

2007-06-23T20:16:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda stuck on this new game at the moment hahaha.
glued to it actually.
wanna try?
lmao i so totally pwn this.

Up Beat

Keep the rhythm and rock the party!

Play this free game now!!

-2488

brace face

2007-06-23T20:13:00.000+08:00

i cant talk properly today :(
caz I've just gotten power chain braces.
LIKE OW.
i so totally understand ahtong now.
yeeeooowww

my dentist said the braces could possibly be off my the end of this year.
possibly.
YAY!
i cant wait xD

and oh my power chain braces is freakin neon yellow.kinda like the one chu hui has.
lmaaao. it screams LOOK AT MEEE!

quite funkay actually.
hahaha

Word Imperfect

2007-06-21T12:28:00.000+08:00

heh.
:D:D

I won this one before ;)
And Cassandra won once too.
And thanks to this, now when you google elle4loser a hundred plus searches came up.
LMAO majority of which is a repetition thanks to word imperfect.

For those who are so absolutely lost.
click here: Word Imperfect

I'm elle4loser. heh. and cassandra is Orange Strings. lmao.
I won for the word "quaquaversal" and cassandra, "asperity".
We came up with the most retarded meaning we could think of. The wordimp lady would pick the three best meanings and put it up for people to vote.
Me and Cass so rock ;)

Then the isketch boys wanted to try it out too.
So we all competed on coming up with bullshit meanings for the word "tierce".
Jacob wrote a novel. hahahaha
and Ryanno went frenchy.
Their meanings were pretty cool actually. Jacob even came up with loads of detailed bullshit -_-"
Ry got the pronunciation all French-ish. lmaoo.
and in the end, the poor guys didnt make it to the top three xD
I did. :D:D:D
And it looks like I'm in the lead in the voting poll thing.
this is so ultra cool.

The boys got jealous of course.
They thought it was bias and what not yada yada *yawns*
Ry thought the wordimp woman likes me.
Jacob thought this was buck teeth people ganging up against nice teeth people.
And I don't even have buck teeth...
I used to have crooked teeth, but now I'm on braces so that totally doesn't count.

And now...
Jacob wanted to punch anyone with buck teeth and be recognized for eliminating the buck teeth population since his "awesome" meaning wasn't recognized, at all. -.-
Ryan wanted to sue the freaky looking woman.

*sigh*
Where's rah?
In Dubai.
like wth.
haha, i need some girl sanity.

-2464

Ambassadors Training and Bonding Camp

2007-06-16T18:36:00.000+08:00

KICKED ASS!!!

:)
I have never met a more fun-loving, friendly, awesome, enthusiastic, hilarious and FANTABULOUS buncha peeps than the ones in NP AMBASSADORS.

They so officially rocked. (:

Unfortunately, I didn't make the most of it.

You guys should know by now, I am an extreme person. Kinda rare to get me in the middle. I'm always at either extreme ends xD
Well that's caz I'm a fire, darlings.
:)
I love making you guys so absolutely lost.

Let me summarise everything before I explain why I'm sucha bright and HAWT fire xD
hahahaha

Okay, emo time.
The reason why I have been so gloomy these days is because...
my gramps is dying :(
oh dear, I feel like crying again. I shall not cry. I shall be strong and not cry.
C'est la vie
We live and we die. Such is life.
Just have to accept this fact, no wait, I have accepted it, just haven't adjusted to it yet :/

This was a heavy blow for my dad. Grandpa has been ill for almost more than a year or so already. The family knew he wouldnt last long :( So whenever he was admitted to hospital, for example last year, the entire family would visit him in the hospital ward like furiously. There was never a time Grandpa was left alone. If he was sleeping, we would sit by his bedside, talk to each other a little, and sometimes we'd just sit and make a silent prayer.

Recently, Dad sat me down and told me Grandpa was dying.
I felt nothing.
At that point of time, I felt nothing. I just said okay and kept quiet.
I was never close to Grandpa. He was just a cute old folk that could speak Malay to me and my mum (and a little english too) and talk to us every year during Chinese New Year.
But he's still my grandpa and I love him, but it's a different kinda love, ya know?

The doctors said he only has several weeks to live. If he's lucky, one to a couple of months.
I thought about me being busy all the time, not having enough time for school, I thought about how half the year has passed without me realising it.

And then, I started crying.
Because I felt so cheated. Too little time to make things up to Grandpa.
Too late actually.
Watching my dad was hard. My dad was a man who never cries.
It took alot for him to hold back his tears when he broke the news to me.
And I felt like crying for him.

I started to wonder what it was like for Daddy. I doubt he says "I love you" to his parents. We're talking about a traditional asian family here. Not like today, I just throw the three important words around like football and let it bounce all over the place, against the walls and off our heads.
Poor Daddy. He's so strong, it makes me wanna cry all over again.

Then grandpa had gangrene in his legs, that made his toe turn all black. And in the hospital bed, he was still his cheerful self telling us how the doctors are gonna amputate the blackened toe.
And we just listened to him while he went on.
But we all know the doctors aren't gonna do that. They said the risk was too high. Grandpa might never make it thru an operation like that. He's too old.
And that made me all the more sad.

Okay enough of the sad things.

I missed the ambassador's inauguration. It totally fled my mind :S Caz the day before I was so depressed by this news that I totally forgot about this. Thankfully the seniors understand :) They're so nice.

I went for the Training and Bonding Camp instead :)
And I really tried but I'm a little quiet during the camp, I must say.
I'm so sorry guys. I'm not my psychotic self at all.
My mood was still down due to my grandpa thing and all.

BUT, it still was fun fun funnnn!!
everyone there was fabulous. The seniors were hilarious :)

The "prom" night was hilarious. Got people to striptease even ;) like omg.
And Clement had to kiss a girl ten times hahhaha in different spots.
You should see his face, like stunned and speechless hahaha.

Almost everyone jumped into the pool too haha, to get the prize.
And well DAMN but SOOOOO many hilariously fun things happened and I feel that I cant blog about this adequately caz well, it simply doesnt measure up to how fabulous it was xD

You should ask me what happened :) Then I'll try to go into detail hahaha :D:D
And oh, we had games too, and got egg yolk, water, flour and god knows what else all over us, we STINK hahaha.
The Adam Khoo workshop was REALLY good. Useful even. Taught us how to stand, talk, approach people the right way etc. etc.
The Ramesh guy was hilarious. :)

We also learned that there are different types of people in this world.
Earth,
Air,
Water,
Fire.

:D
I'm fire ;)

EARTH : like a mountain is firm

Bold and sturdy. Earth Elements are confident in the way they walk and talk. Goals, control, achievemt and winning are important. Quick, possibly risky decisions come easily.

AIR : like the wind is clear

These orderly and focused individuals rely on their abilities to think things out. They excel n finding logical solutions and making sense of situations. Air Elements listen and plan to ensure accuracy.

WATER : like the lake is calm

Caring and consistent, Water Elements are important in holding families and teams together. They are loyal and deeply feeling people who show steadfast effort, great patience and a desire for harmony and flow.

FIRE : like the sun is bright

Looking at positive side of life, they love to explore possibilities and inspire others to see bright futures. Fire Elements are often colourful, love variety and have a great sense of fun!

okay, my mood to blog suddenly died.
like POOF!
disappear.
lol.

And I so love music (:
-2419

Pictures!!! :)

2007-06-12T18:22:00.000+08:00

imeem is starting to piss me off.
lol.
I really hate 30 seconds previews :I

anyway, here are some funneh pics I' d like to share with all of you.

HAHAHAHA LOOK AT CASS'S FACE LMAOOOOO
HILARIOUS!
actually, I LOOK JUST AS RETARDED xD

I miss Karmen and Divya!!

Oggy, Teri, XT yeppers the nonsensical gang.

I look so lost on the left :/ LOL
oh, in the pic on the right, the heart on my nose was an accident, the timer ran out before I had a chance to delete it. Laughed like shit about it after that x)

I MISS THE CREZ PEEPS.
I have few photos of them, I'm sry to say.:(
Because... I dont camwhore and I seldom scan neoprints.
AND, if I ever do take pics, it's always with someone else's camera.
HAHA happy new year to me :)
we are just so nonsensical. LOL. i miss that.

more nonsensical pictures coming up :D

On Generally Awesome's website xD

Bad Parenting.
:O OMG THE POOR LITTLE DUCKLINGS
how horrifying

BOOYA!
hahahaha, this hamster looks SO RETARDED, IT CRACKS ME UP xD

Even hamsters pray too.
*In a squeeky chipmunky voice*
"Dear God, please let HAMsterBURGERS not be a reality..."

O_O
guys beware, your gonads are at risk.

weep for the birdie.
So drama lol

The stupid Domokuns are traumatising the poor kitty!
Stupid brown things. Lmao.

Super Mario! hahaha God, this is sooo ADORABLE!

-_-" No comment.

lol, i thought these pics were amusing :D anyway, here's some more xD
Ry and I were bored, so we went into the cyber room on isketch.
No people, we're not planning to cyber there -_-
LMAO it was self entertainment, Ry pretended to be a girl.
I pretended to be a horny girl. LOL.
Ry's name was "creampie" o_o gross hahahaha
Mine was "hotandwet;)" HAHA and that was just as bad. LMAO.
and we got LOADS of private msges lmao.

(woa... I'm blogging in the dark hahaha didnt realise the sun had set alrdy O_O lemme turn on the lights)

okay and THEN there was this REALLY funny guy, and he is a perfect literature teacher.
He redefines alliteration hahahaha
take a look ;D

read what belair(the one circled in red) says. hahahaha. seriously lmaaoo

of course he got kicked out, and so he came back in with several new names...

and more...

my first reaction to this: WTF?
I never knew a guy's dick could do so much LOL
hahahaha and there you go.
ROFL
it's extremely ridiculous. to the point of idiocy.
to the point of hilarity xD

ultra lameness :)

-2348